"Ladies, fresh baklava! (snaps picture when they turn around)"
"What do you mean you don't eat no meat? That's OK, I make lamb!"
"(narrating) A couple more years went by, and Dad brought his mother over from Greece to live with us. Because we weren't weird enough."
"(at the wedding)How are we supposed to know what's going on?"
"It's all Greek to me."
"Now, gimme a word, any word, and I'll show you how the root of that word is Greek."
"Oh, not this again."
"Okay? How about arachnophobia? Arachna, that comes from the Greek word for spider, and phobia is a phobia, is mean fear. So, fear of spider, there you go."
"Okay, Mr. Portokalos. How about the word kimono?"
"Kimono, kimono, kimono. Ha! Of course! Kimono is come from the Greek word himona, is mean winter. So, what do you wear in the wintertime to stay warm? A robe. You see: robe, kimono. There you go!"
"Hello. Welcome to the Portokalos family and welcome the-the Miller family. I-I was thinking last night, um, the night before my-my daughter was gonna marry, uh, I-an Miller, that, um, you know, the root of the word Miller is a Greek word. Miller come from the Greek word Milo, which is mean apple, there you go. As many of you know, our name Portokalos is come from the Greek word Portokali, which means orange. So, okay, here tonight we have, uh, apple and orange... we all different, but, in the e"
"(narrating)My dad believed in two things: That Greeks should educate non-Greeks about being Greek and that any ailment from psoriasis to poison ivy could be cured with Windex."
"Now, you are family. Okay. All my life, I had a lump at the back of my neck, right here. Always, a lump. Then I started menopause and the lump got bigger from the "hormonees." It started to grow. So I go to the doctor, and he did the bio... the b... the... the bios... the... b... the "bobopsy." Inside the lump he found teeth and a spinal column. Yes. Inside the lump was my twin."
"Welcome to my home. Over here is my brother, Ted, and his wife, Melissa, and their children, Anita, Diane and Nick. Over here, my brother Tommy, his wife Angie, and their children, Anita, Diane and Nick. And here, my brother George, his wife Freda, and their children, Anita, Diane and Nick. Taki, Sophie, Kari, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, uh, Nikki, and I am Gus."
"Toula, there's two kinds of people: Greeks and everybody else who wish they were Greeks."