Well... SOMETIMES I FEEL SO RETRO THAT WHEN I'M HUNGRY FOR A BURGER AND A MILKSHAKE, I STRIP NAKED AND RUN OUTSIDE HOLDING A SHARP STONE, READY TO SLAY A WILD RABBIT. I SKIN IT ALIVE WITH MY BARE HANDS AND THEN TOSS THE BLOODY MEAT INTO A FIRE I MADE MYSELF WITH TWO STICKS AND SOME FLINT I HAD TO RUN 5 MILES TO OBTAIN. THEN I RUN ANOTHER 2 MILES TO THE NEAREST FIELD OF FRESH WILD WHEAT AND PLUCK IT MYSELF, CHOPPING IT INTO THE TINIEST GRAINS WITH MY FINGERNAILS THAT TOOK 3 WEEKS TO GROW, AND THEN I DO THIS FOR 24 HOURS STRAIGHT UNTIL I HAVE A HUGE MOUND OF GRAIN. THEN I RUN 30 MILES TO THE NEAREST FRESHWATER LAKE AND POUR THE WATER ALL OVER THE GRAIN, AND SPLIT IT IN HALF UNTIL I HAVE TWO SEMI-BUNS. I THEN PLACE THE RABBIT MEAT INSIDE THE BUNS AND ENJOY A NICE "HAMBURGER", AFTER ROASTING IT OVER A FIRE IN CHISELED MYSELF. THEN, I SWIM ACROSS THE ATLANTIC OCEAN AND GO TO GREECE, WHERE I CLIMB THE TALLEST MOUNTAINS (still naked) INTO THE ICY REGIONS, WHERE I GATHER THE PUREST, WHITEST SNOW AND THEN JUMP OFF A PLATEU, USING A SKIN FROM A WOLF I JUST KILLED WITH MY BARE FISTS AS A PARACHUTE DOWN. I THEN SWIM ALL THE WAY BACK ACROSS THE ATLANTIC OCEAN AND SWIM TO THE SHORES OF COLUMBIA, WHERE I FIND THE NEAREST SUGAR CANE AND USE ITS SAP TO FLAVOR MY SNOW, AS I THEN SEARCH A VAST DESERT IN MEXICO FOR CATTLE, AS I THEN SQUEEZE THE COW-TEATS OF THE HEALTHIEST-LOOKING SPECIMEN, MIXING THE MILK OF ITS BOSOM WITH THE SUGAR AND SNOW I HAVE GATHERED FROM ALL OVER TEH WORLDS, ENCASING IT IN A CLAY DISH I LEARNED TO MAKE FROM A TRIBE OF VIOLENT NATIVE AMERICANS.
It's really funny how they call it fast food these days.