Major Payne Quotes
6389
Major Payne: "What if this was a life-or-death situation?"
Alex: "But it's NOT a life-or-death situation."
Major Payne: (takes a hand grenade and pulls the pin out) "It is now!"
6388
Alex: "What, are you guys crazy?? It's just a dummy grenade!"
(Major Payne throws the grenade, which explodes behind him; Alex then leaps into the mud.)
Major Payne: "Who's the dummy now?"
6387
1 TUBBY TUBBY 2 TUBBY TUBBY-major payne
6386
Major Payne: What do you want, Mr. PEE-body?
6385
Major Payne: You like the way I handle these white boys?
Cadet Williams: Yeah, no doubt brother.
Major Payne: Well let me tell you something.
Cadet Williams: Yeah brother.
Major Payne: I AM NOT YOUR DAMN BROTHER!!!!!!
6384
Major Payne: Let me see that belly roll. One, tubby tubby. Come on pork chop. Two, tubby tubby.
6383
Major Payne: You tell Marlee Matlin's son if he does not get across that rope, I'm going to hang him with it.
6382
Major Payne:
I like to hang upside-down blindfolded, then I take my gun apart and put it back together real fast before my nose begins to bleed.
-Major Payne
6381
Major Payne:
War has made me very paranoid and when a man gets to eyeballin' me it makes MY AGENT ORANGE JACK UP, and I get the urge to kill.
-Major Payne
6380
Major Payne:
What's so funny tubby? You found a gummy bear in your pocket?
-Major Payne
6379
Major Payne:
(Bending Tiger's finger backwards ready to break it) You want me to show you a little trick to get your mind off that pain???
-Major Payne
6378
tommylees friend:
Tommy-lee! go outside, snacth yerself a squirrel, its time for breakfast!
-tommylees friend
6377
Major Payne:
I'll stick my foot so far up you but that the sweat on my knee will quench your thirst
-Major Payne
6376
deaf boy:
Dir yes Dir ( supposed to be Sir Yes Sir)
-deaf boy
6375
Major Payne:
My name is MAJOR-BENSON-WINIFRED-PAYNE and as of 0800 I will be your commanding officer
-Major Payne
6374
Major Payne:
What we've got here is a failure to communicate.
- Major Payne
6373
Major Payne:
Maybe what he need is for you to pop your titty out his mouth and let the boy grow up.

- Major Payne
6372
Tiger:
They won't let me go on a "Black Op," because I'm too little, and nobody ever lets you do anything when you're little.

-Tiger
6371
Major Payne:
Move it, you turds! You'll get no sympathy from me! You want sympathy, look in the dictionary between "spit" and "syphilis!"... You there! Tell Marlee Matlin's son to get across that rope before I hang him with it!

-Major Payne
6370
Major Payne:
From now on, you will not eat, sleep, blow your nose or dig in your butts without my say! Killin'is my business, ladies, and business is good!

-Major Payne