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Quote O' Matic
Russ:"Dad, didn't they invent Christmas tree lots so people wouldn't have to drive all the way out to nowhere and waste a whole Saturday?"
Clark:"They invented them, Russ, because people forgot how to have a fun old fashioned family Christmas, and are satisfied with scrawny, dead, overpriced trees that have no special meaning."
Audrey:"My toes are numb."
Clark:"You see kids, this is what our fore fathers did."
Audrey:"I can't feel my legs."
Clark:"They walked out into the woods, they picked out that special tree and they cut it down with their bare hands."
Audrey:"Mom, I can't feel my hips!"
Ellen:"Clark."
Clark:"Yes honey?"
Ellen:"Audrey's frozen from the waste down."
Clark:"Ah, it's all part of the experience honey."
