Frank:"Have you ever given a lecture about temperance, Father? About the evils of drink?"
Father Mulcahy:"Uh, no. On the troop ship, I was once asked to do one about the sex thing."
Frank:"Oh, good."
Father Mulcahy:"Being celibate, I didn't feel qualified. They brought in a Protestant. He had a film about two sailors. One was from Cleveland ostensibly, the other a small rural area. The city boy stayed on the ship and wrote his high-school sweetheart. A lovely young girl with a megaphone on her chest."
Frank:"Father, this is a bit different."
Father Mulcahy:"The country boy lived in a trailer with three other young ladies and a man with a whip."
Frank:"Father?"
Father Mulcahy:"Broke his wristwatch and everything."