Lou Landers:"[Rick, Aunt Lucille, Jill, Lou and Lance are sitting down for their Thanksgiving dinner; Lou looks at Rick's arm and sees a cut on it] What happened to your arm?"
Rick Riker:"Uh... A bike messenger knocked me down. I see your wrist is bandaged."
Lou Landers:"Yes, I burned it on some hot coffee. And you have a cut on your lip."
Rick Riker:"Uh... My crack pipe broke. You have a scratch on your neck."
Lou Landers:"Yes, I met a girl on Craig's List. And you have a bruise on your neck."
Rick Riker:"I met a guy on Craig's List."
Lou Landers:"I'm sorry Lance, but we have to go."
Lance Landers:"Why?"
Lou Landers:"I... shot my pants. [Everyone looks at Lou in total shock]"