We Need a He-Man Film! PT 2

I give my choices of actors to play the charcters needed to make a good He-Man Film.
January 06, 2009
RetroJunk! I'm back with the second part of this extended article on my ideas that would make a great He-Man film.

Last part, I gave the choices of actors to play the main three baddies. Now comes the secondary good guys and villains.


First off, I've gotten lots of feed-back on actor choices, so hear me out as I give, don't bash them please. For this role of the commander of the warriors, I select......KARL URBAN!

Yes the man that played "Eomer" in Lord of the Rings, and soon to play "Bones McCoy" in Star Trek. If he bulks up the muscle a bit, gives a rougher accent and keeps a heavy beard, he could pull it off.


One of Skeletor's various goons, the numbskull is in fact two hidious freaks magically fused together, two heads and sides of their bodies that can act seperate and make for comic relief. For these roles I haev in mind a duo of british actors, who of course would needs lots of heavy make-up or CGI. With that in mind, I select...

HUGH LAURIE as Tublatt and MARK WILLIAMS as Badraa

The duo have experience playing imbeciles together in films like the "Borrowers" and "101 Dalmatians". These two would do well teaming up again.


Now here is a mixed standpoint, should this comical little wierdo be put in a new He-Man movie. If so, then he could be used either way.

He could one, be the same strange apperance as in the cartoon, making him a full CGI like Jar-Jar. Or two, he could be more human like with his face and features visabe but still wearing the same outfit.

Either way he could be made an important or comic character. If he was to be soley CGI, I'd go with JEFF DUNHAM to do the voice work. If Orko was made more human, than someone like HANK AZARIA, the guy famous for doing tons of voices in "The Simpsons", he could do an Andy Serkis and he the voice and movement of the blue imp.


One of King Hiss' nefarious Snake Men generals, Tung can whip and attack you with his venemous and ridiculously long tounge, yes tounge!

Most of the heroes or villains of He-Man will probably have a hard time adjusting to theater audiences, or being taken seriously for that matter. But if transformers can do it so can He-Man. For ol' Lashor's case I would recommend heavily CGI created and a low name actor with a good voice. My choice would be NICK BAKAY, whos last work was voicing a certain black cat named "Salem"


Another of Skeletor's men, this furry nefarian immits a horridly foul oder, one that could copacitate or kill given the amount released.

Now this actor would have to be known to do gross roles, and this charcter would have to be the grossest possible. Also, said actor would have to wear heavy fur make-up, like Jim Carrey wore in "The Grinch".

My personal choice is a buck toothed actor named STEVE BUSCEMI.


One of the most noble and loyal of the Masters, Ram could literally charge into enemies using the heavy iron helmet he wears to bash them down. For a film interpretation the actor would have to be heavily set or wear a fatsuit.

I've come down to one good actor to play the part, you know him from "Shaun of the Dead" and "Hot Fuzz", NICK FROST!


Another Master, Sy had Captain Planet colored skin and could create tornadoes from the palm of his fists. Now for him I'd have to use the 2002 series origin. A more asian samurai warrior who uses magic to control wind.

Now must people aren't familar with him, but I think he would do well, for this Master I select, SHIN KOYAMADA to play him.


The hairy and malicious monster that can tear through flesh and control any animal or beast. While most of Skeletor's warriors are comic lackies, Beast Man can either be that or a force to be reckoned with.

Beast to be put on the big screen would take an all out CGI character. So I'm recommending a voice actor with a booming voice, in his case KEITH DAVID!


Now here is were it gets odd, Mekaneck is one of the weirdest but coolest masters, a warrior with cybernetic implants that allow him to stretch his mechanical neck for hundreds of feet.

Now this trick is no sweat to do with computer animation, but the problem is will audiences accept such a ludicrious idea for a Master. If so, then I want DOMINIC MONAGHAN to play him!


A frightening addition to Skeletor's Warriors, Webstor is an archnid humanoid that can spin webs and is a master of creating dangerous traps, ala Jigsaw.

This villain would excellently scare the crap out of any movie goer afraid of spiders, an one ANDREW DIVOFF could play the part by using tons of makeup and CGI to create his eyes and eight legs. Andrew is known for playing an evil genie in "Wishmaster" and Mikail on "LOST".


A disgusting and hidious member of the Evil Horde, Leech can climb walls and other heights with suction cups on his hands and feet. These cups along with his monstrous mouth can literally suck the life out of an unfortunate victim!

Now here is another cool villain. This CGI created warrior would like like Jabba the Hutt on steroids. If he lives long enough I think Leech should be revoiced by his original actor, LOU SCHEIMER! Lou voiced most of the villains on He-Man and She-Ra cartoons, it would be awesome if he could live long enough to re voice Leech and many other CGI created characters!

To end this part on a high note, I will announce the roles of KING RANDOR, QUEEN MARLEENA and PRINCE ADAM, in that order.

(dromroll) dadadadadaddadadadadadada................

and the winners are....


Until part 3, TO BE CONTINUED...
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