Care Bears' Dark Side (Pt. 2)

Part 2 of my 2-Part series showing the dark side of the Care Bears.
October 17, 2007
Welcome back, retrojunkies! This is the second part of my "dark side of the Care Bears" article, so make sure you've read Part 1 first. If you already did and are continuing, thank you for tuning in, because the worst is yet to come!

"The Care Bears' Adventure in Wonderland" may be a pretty bad movie compared to its prequels, but it does have some charm. I mean, don't get me wrong; it's a load of crap, but some people may like it.

The Care Bears TV series, however, is the real deal. It sucks! Like CB movie #3, this show has numerous flaws. I'm going to point them all out as best as I can. Oh, and don't worry; I'll find something about it that I like.

Well, who's in this show? If it's called "Care Bears", then you'd probably expect to see the Care Bears. Well, we've got the Care Bears. There's Tenderheart Bear, Funshine Bear, Grumpy Bear. We've also got the Care Bear Cousins, Brave Heart, Lotsa Heart, Treat Heart.

Then we've got...Perfect Panda and Polite Panda? What the heck?

So how do the flaws rank up in this show? Well, Tender Heart is once again voiced by Jim Henshaw. That really pissed me off, because Billie Mae Richards really made the character of Tender Heart who he really is.

There's something about this show that really disturbed me. Why are some of the Care Bears wearing clothes? I mean, really. Champ Bear has a red jacket and a headband, Cheer Bear has a pony tail and a yellow jacket, Treat Heart's wearing a jacket, Bright Heart's wearing a hat. What's the deal here? Did the censors not approve of the way the Care Bears looked? Did they watch the movie and think they looked like nudists or something?

Another thing that I'm annoyed by is the usage of characters. There are some characters who recur regularly like Grumpy, Tender Heart and Brave Heart, but other characters like Wish Bear, Secret Bear, Playful Heart Monkey and Loyal Heart Dog are lucky enough to make a cameo. The TV series seems to focus too much on Baby Hugs and Baby Tugs. As cute as they may be, do they really need to take up 75% of the show? Is it really necessary to have these two babies featured in every single episode? Well, I think I may have an answer to that.

Going back to the first Care Bears movie, Hugs and Tugs only got one big scene together, and they didn't get a lot of screentime in the movie. I'm sure it would have been a good idea to give Hugs and Tugs more of a chance to shine, but having them featured in every single episode is a major overkill. The Care Bears should have been about the Care Bears helping people share their feelings. Instead the show is all about Hugs and Tugs either playing games or learning things. They should have just called this show "The Adventures of Hugs and Tugs (featuring the Care Bears)".

The worst thing about this show are the villains. If you've seen the movies, you'll notice that each one has a different villain. This series has a specific trio of villains. The main villain is No Heart. No Heart is awesome; I don't have a problem with him. What I do have a problem with are his two little sidekicks: an annoying little douchebag known as Mr. Beastly, and a whiny little bitch called Shrieky. Those two are the characters who really ruin the show.

Overall, the Care Bears series is not really a horrible series; it's just not so good. There were a few decent episodes. Just for fun, I'm going to give you my Top 5 Favorite episodes of the series:

#5 - The Long Lost Care Bears
In this episode, the Care Bears have come across a photo album and discovered two family members they don't recognize. After hearing a call for help, they discovered Perfect and Polite Panda, the two lost Care Bears. I felt it was nice to see these two additions to the Care Bear family, and I enjoyed the reference to the second Care Bears movie made in this episode (when True Heart mentioned Dark Heart's reign). I felt that Perfect and Polite made a great team, and the fact that they always talked in rhymes always tickled my funny bone. It kinda sucked that they didn't recur in any other episodes.

#4 - A Day Without Tugs
In this episode, Hugs wants to play with Tugs. Unfortunately, he's sick. Suddenly, out of the blue, Hugs' shadow comes to life, and she spends the day playing with him. I felt this episode was kind of fun to watch, and it also taught some interesting at home projects. The shadow wasn't very bright, and characters like that always seem to make me laugh. Though, you gotta admit, he did have a pretty good imagination.

#3 - It's Raining, It's Boring
This was a very interesting episode. This was actually sort of an educational episode for activities to do on a rainy day. In the episode, it's a rainy day, and the Beast of Boredom has payed a visit to Hugs and Tugs magically making them bored over a rainy day. Luckily for them, Grumpy comes up with all these fun activities for Hugs and Tugs to do. I find this episode to be a great way to educate kids and teach them about the same kinds of stuff. This episode should have made a home video release to be played at schools and day care centers. Maybe it did.

#2 - The Camp Out
This is undeniably one of my favorite episodes of the whole series. In this episode, Brave Heart, Lotsa Heart and Grumpy take Hugs and Tugs on a camp out, learn about the legendary Swamp Monster, and they even meet the monster himself. This is also a great episode as it gives Playful Heart Monkey some spotlight in the series as he and Funshine Bear play jokes on everyone throughout the episode. Playful Heart and Funshine seem to have some great chemistry together. I always enjoy cartoons with more than one character with a sense of humor.

#1 - The Fabulous Care Bears Safety Game
The episode I chose as the series' best episode is this one. In this episode, Baby Hugs, Baby Tugs and Mr. Beastly compete with each other on a game show about safety. This episode's hilarious, because Beastly (who doesn't know a thing about safety) gets every question wrong. Plus, in the bonus round, Beastly makes a note that he hates brustle sprouts and thinks they're the most dangerous things on the planet (and that's coming from someone dressed as a piece of asparagus)!

Alright, you've heard me rant about a crappy Care Bears movie, and you heard me rant about an even crappier Care Bears cartoon series. Can it get any worse than that? Yes, it can! (*shudders* I'm warning you! You may want to shield your eyes for this next picture!)

The worst thing to ever happen to the Care Bears franchise is their revival in the 2000's...and that's the truth! (quote intended) If you've seen any of the recent Care Bears movies, you'll know what I mean. For one thing, they're computer-animated, which is unacceptable; they don't look good in CG. Champ Bear now looks more like Bedtime Bear, Funshine Bear had a sex change, the Care Bears' tummy symbols are now known as their belly patches, and worst of all, they're no longer doing the Care Bear Stare! The creators of these movies have completely ruined the Care Bears we all loved!

Well, this concludes my 2-part article on the Care Bears' darker side. I hope you enjoyed reading it, and hopefully, I didn't offend you guys too much. Maybe you don't remember this stuff, or maybe you weren't even born. This is all stuff that I remember, and it's all my opinion, so don't take my thoughts too personally. Thank you, and keep on caring!
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