CONFESSIONS: Zord Love

An article that fondly remembers MMPR
On
March 18, 2009
(originally published on www.dork-knights.com)

Okay cats and kittens, dig this...

I am a geek.... and I bet that if you're reading this, then so are you. I love comics, toys, bad cheesy Sci-Fi, B-Horror flicks, 80's hair metal and countless amounts of Saved By The Bell and Boy Meets World episodes (I own the DVDs). I know I'm not the only one who loves these things... why else would they continue to produce the merchandise?

So, for a little fun, I'm putting it all on Front Street.... and in a little feature I call "CONFESSIONS" I will confess my love to things that others just don't probably have the guts to admit to. C'mon dudes, you all watched Mighty Morphin Power Rangers AT SOME POINT.... it was insanely popular, so I wasn't the only one....

That's a good place to start.... the classic MMPR.

I can still remember the original "teaser" on a Saturday morning as i watched X-MEN on the Fox Kids Network. "YOU THOUGHT THEY WERE EXTINCT!" The announcer declared as images quickly shot across my bedroom television screen of robotic dinosaurs which I later would learn were, in fact, Zords. I was intrigued because up until that point all my TV Super Heroes were animated.... but these were REAL!!! Sure, the Special Effects looked like a bad low budget B-movie, but that's part of the charm. At least, that's what I tell myself.... since I still watch my bootleg DVDs of the first 2 seasons.... yeah.

I tuned in for the first episode and dug it, I loved the cute Pink Ranger (Kimberly), although i was SOOO glad when they ditched her Valley Girl act. I really liked the Zords, the costumes, the karate and the badly dubbed villains like Rita Repulsa and Scorpina. Goldar looked AWESOME and Megazord reminded me of VOLTRON. It was all adding up in my 10 year old brain to equal TOTALLY BAD ASS!!! I never even questioned why no one could put two and two together to realize that the 5 kids wearing THE SAME COLORS every day and only talked to each other might just maybe be the Power Rangers. Okay, maybe that thought crossed my mind.... but why split hairs?

They were on a streak of greatness and I watched religiously, I begged for and got the toys... and I couldn't get the repetitive theme song out of my little head. Then, they did what I thought totally impossible... they topped themselves.

GREEN WITH EVIL was the 5 part mini-series that introduced us children to the coolest Ranger to ever morph.... TOMMY OLIVER, the Green Ranger. Yes, i know his full name from memory and NO, I did NOT GOOGLE it. TRIPLE NERD SCORE FOR ME!!!
He was a new kid in Angel Grove, the fictitious town that the Rangers called home and defended. (Why didn't Rita ever attack New York or L.A. ?) He was befriended by The 5 Rangers, got the hots for cute little Kimberly and then the "poop hit the fan"... Rita reveals her own little Power Coin and casts a spell on our mullet wearing hero. Dang that Rita..... but hey, now we had an even cooler Power Ranger and an AWESOME Zord, The Dragonzord. Seriously, this Zord still gets my geek engine revving when I think of it. I even have all my old Green Ranger/Dragonzord toys and collectibles safely tucked away to this very day. My wife even bought me a mint-in-box Dragon Dagger (his flute that he used to call Dragonzord) to keep her Geeky hubby smiling.... how sweet.

Anyways.... the Rangers eventually break Rita's spell (SPOILER!!! lol) Tommy joins the original five and history is made!!! He and the other Rangers dazzled my little world and I couldn't get enough. Of course, all good things come to an end and Tommy eventually was robbed of his sweeeeeeeeeeet Dragonzord powers by that Evil badly dubbed Witch Rita.... I coulda just killed her, instead I shed geeky and AMAZINGLY LAME tears from my 10 year old eyes..... yeah, true story, sadly.

He eventually returned to the team, and my life once more had meaning. I started eating again, stopped wearing all black in mourning and returned to Elementary School full time. ;) aww, happy endings are so nice.

BUT WAIT!!! Lord Zedd soon showed his ugly mug and all Hell broke loose for our rainbow-clad power teens. They lost their Zords, got new THUNDER ZORDS, Tommy lost his Green Ranger Powers for good and Some Rangers even left the team.... it was worse than Spock biting the dust.... I'm kidding of course. NOTHING on this planet or any other is that horrible..... Damn you, Kahn!!!

oh yeah.... Power Rangers....

Anyhooo .... I won't bore you with how Tommy returns as The White Ranger or how they eventually gain NINJA Powers or how I shortly thereafter grew out of love with the Power Rangers. My parents were thrilled, i mean every other month there were new Zords to buy!!! I grew up and so I left behind my Power Morphers and Putty Patrollers. I still revisit those first two or three seasons from time to time and even catch myself doodling Rangers every now and then. Recently, I even saw a Bad Ass t-shirt of the DRAGONZORD @ Hot Topic!!! MUST. HAVE.

I can't be the only one.... I'm probably one of the few to actually remember all the details as i do.... or maybe I'm just the only one who is brave enough to admit to the useless trivia knowledge. Yeah, that's it.... I'm just really brave.... BRAVE, not lame.

Now, if you will excuse me, my communicator/wristwatch/teleportation device just beeped the show's theme song and Ernie's Gym and Juice Bar is serving half price smoothies.....

It's Morphin' Time !!!
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