The Things My Mouth Misses

The edible goodies I crave, but no longer exist.
On
October 14, 2009


Introduction:
We all have things we wish to taste just one more time that are no longer made. This is my list of "Things My Mouth Misses". I tried to include as much of the things I could remember as possible, but obviously, I probably missed some. Some of the stuff that you would probably have on your list are things that are either still made (Dunkaroos [apparently]) and things I never tried (Crystal Pepsi). I'm sorry for that, but I hope you like what I brought into this piece. Please, enjoy yourself and joggle some screws loose and tell us what you miss.


Cocoa Frosted Flakes

I loved this stuff. It would turn your milk into a delicious chocolate milk to drink at the very end. It was basically a chocolate cornflake with frosting on it. I think they still sell it in other countries.

French Toast Crunch

Okay, who didn't eat this stuff? It was a spinoff of the always popular Cinnamon Toast Crunch and capitalized on the growing Waffle Crisp sales by Post. It was very unique when compared to CTC. It had a different texture with a smooth surface and a sugary coating instead of cinnamon and sugar grains on it. There was even a darker area on the sides of the pieces to represent a "crust". This was discontinued in the US in 2005, but is still sold in Canada.

Grand Slams Baseball Cereal

Probably the best baseball cereal to date. It was like Lucky Charms if the dog food was replaced with Kix. The sugary balls were super awesome with little red seams right on them. The marshmallows kept with the baseball theme with a red All-Star, a green baseball diamond, a blue pennant, a white home plate, an orange glove, and a yellow bat. I consider the box it came in to be probably the best thing ever made to contain cereal. I kept it for a long time as a collectible. It featured all the great players at the time on it: Mark McGuire, Frank Thomas, and Mike Piazza on the front - and Jeff Bagwell, Barry Bonds, Tino Martinez, Andres Galarraga, and Larry Walker on the back. It was shiny and had raised letters and players. Very cool and kid beckoning for 1998.

Hidden Treasures

This stuff was stuffed with goodness. The "hidden" premise was that you had no idea what flavor (cherry, orange, or grape) was in each crispy square and you had to find out by eating each one. I didn't really care for this after I found out that the place they injected the filling was always noticeable, so I just cared about the taste. It was created in 1993 with Sprinkle Spangles and discontinued in 1995.

A twin pack of the two sister cereals. I didn't enjoy Sprinkle Spangles at all. It tasted too much like that waxy feeling after eating too many sprinkles.

Pop Tarts Crunch

The king of missed cereals in my cupboard. Nothing can describe the greatness of a bowel of this stuff. Crushing up normal Pop Tarts still can't describe it, but everything was still there: the sprinkles, frosting, pastry, and filling. I was all about the strawberry flavor. I remember grabbing this cereal, putting it into a bowel with Lucky Charms (I love mixing cereals), and watching the '97 NBA Finals with Michael Jordan's final second heroics. Freaking memories, man. Freaking memories.


Breakfast Lunchables

Truly a food for a specialized palette. Not many people liked this stuff, but I would munch on it every morning in the summer of 1999 while watching the USA Network morning block (Wings, Working, Something So Right, and Boston Common). The pancakes were actually pretty good and so were the sausage patties they came with. I didn't spend a lot of time eating these, but the waffles are pretty much the ones I remember eating the most. These waffle sticks were a little dry, but that taste will go with me til I die. They both came with the sausage, some syrup, and a thing of orange Tang. The sizes of the pics above were the biggest I could find, so I thought you'd enjoy them next to my lovely Vanna White. Vanna, please show our readers what these bad boys looked like...

Doritos 3D's

You either liked these, or you didn't. Simple as that. I loved them, especially the Jalapeno Cheddar ones. The texture was slightly different than regular Doritos, almost Bugles-like. They were just a fun food product that tasted pretty good. I think they still sell these in Mexico, but not in the US.

Fruit String Thing

Really, everyone knows about these. They've had them before. They've seen the commercials, but for Christ's sake!!! It was impossible finding a pic of this stuff, and I'm sure you're surprised to find out they don't make them anymore. I had to go on an old Boxtops 4 Education website for a pic of this stuff. Anyways, the product was like a Twizzlers stuck on a piece of cardboard twisted in cool designs. Later on, they filled the spaces between the strings with Foot by the Foot type stuff. This was a staple after my Little League baseball games growing up. I'm not sure what flavors there were, but strawberry and cherry were two of them.

Gobble Sticks

Awesome snack from the '90s. These were individually wrapped hotdog sized and shaped turkey sticks. There were original, smoked, honey, and cheese flavors. The cheese one had bits of cheese inside the wiener-like snack. Mmmmmmm. I wish they still made these. I couldn't stop eating them, even at a young age. When the stick was gone, I'd slurp up the juices inside the packaging. I know, gross, but I was 10 years-old! I couldn't find a pic, so I tried my best to draw the turkey on the packaging. He was a different color depending on what flavor you had, but I decided to draw the orange Cheese turkey. I didn't remember much about him, but he did have sunglasses and was either holding up a Gobble Stick or giving you a thumbs-up! Cool, dude...

Planters PB Crisps

A highly sought after snack that unfortunately hasn't been seen on the shelves since the mid-90's. These were extremely hard to stop eating. They were peanut-shaped cookies with Planter's peanut butter in them. It was simple, but so tempting. They came in an orange pouch that enticed you to start gobbling them up. There are a lot of commercials out there to check out, even on this website. Not much to say other than that I should be eating them right now, gaining 25 more lbs.

Pop Qwiz

This was a fun product that was another one of those interactive foods. You'd place the bag into the microwave and start it up. When finished, you'd carefully open it up to find out which color you got. It tasted pretty much like your ordinary popcorn, except the dye from the coloring would get everywhere. The colors were blue, red, yellow, green, and later purple. This was like the quintessential 90's snack with all the colors on the packaging and the food.

Sodalicious "Fruit" Snacks

What a great fruit, er, I mean soda snack. It was different and had stuff that kids liked, soda. The flavors were Root Beer, Cherry Cola, and Cola. I don't remember much about it, but I remember eating it a few times. I think the thing I remember the most about it was the packaging with all the purple.


Astro Pops

Sadly, this lollipop doesn't exist anymore. I'm sure it was made for years and years, but got a bad stigma when a kid stabbed the back of his throat with one. After that, they flipped the design so the pointy end was down when eaten (seen above). I guess people didn't like eating an upside down spaceship (yeah, they were called ASTROpops) so sales plummeted. I didn't eat a lot of these, but I still remember how the Red, Green, and Yellow tasted on it.

Brach's Rocks

This is more a capsule of my childhood than a taste I miss. I got some of these in the early 90's and decided to save them in the box my rock collection I was building was in. They are probably still in there after thinking about it. The dinosaur dude was probably used to capitalize on the Dinosaur TV show craze back then. He has a letterman jacket like the eldest son in the show. I really forget how they tasted.

Gator Gum

This stuff was made for a long time, but has recently left the shelves. It was a semi-sour lemon gum that really made the mouth water. I would chew it during baseball games, along with the Big League Chew, and think I was "quenching my thirst". It was, obviously, made by Gatorade and each piece was about the size and shape of a stick of Trident Gum.
Thumb-Sucker

This was a great novelty candy in the early 90's. It was a red sucker in the shape of a thumb that was covered with another rubbery red thumb you'd slip off. Jabbed into it from the bottom was a white stick, and to keep the sugary slobber from running down to your hands was a circular piece of white paper with blue writing on it. I had a blast with these. After finishing off the sucker, I'd slip the rubber thumb onto my own and start gnawing on it. I don't know why. I never sucked my thumb, but I guess it was something to pass the time.

Wonderball

In all honesty, I don't know if this is still made. I've heard reports that it can be found in some Blockbusters. If it's still made, please send me one. This candy had everything! Chocolate? Check. Hard tart candies? Check. A surprise toy or treat? CHECK! I loved collecting the little toys inside these things. It was truly a candy for kids. Despite the fact that kids like all candies, this one catered to kids' needs.


Capri Sun Island Refreshers

This one is fairly recent, but I thought I'd mention it. I always thought that this stuff was the Capri Sun for adults. The flavors were more grown-up than Pacific Cooler or Tropical Punch from the original lineup. There was Strawberry Kiwi, Orange Dragonfruit, Lemon Tea, and Fruit Punch. The containers were a large aluminum can that held a good amount of fluid. It kept the drink cold and introduced us to that type of bottle before the beer companies came around. I loved the Orange Dragonfruit and Lemon Tea (really). The tea was different, but totally quenched my thirst. I've always been a big drinker. That explains why I loved the large size of this Capri Sun and the size of this section!

Fruitopia

How can I not mention Fruitopia? There were thousands of these vending machines everywhere. It's totally 90's! I loved the Strawberry Kiwi one. I think the most memorable thing about it is the lettering on label. It's so synonymous with the brand. This stuff is definitely not available where I'm from down here in Texas, but I've heard rumors of it selling in Canada.

Hi-C Ecto Cooler
If you loved Ghostbusters as much as me when I was younger, then you had a fridge stocked with this stuff 24/7. It was basically a green tangerine drink that always made you smile. Too many memories with this one to name them all. Great, great, GREAT retro drink with a huge following.


Hi-C in the cans

I really miss this packaging. They made it this way in the late 90's and I would slurp a can up for an entire afternoon everyday. They put these bad boys in Lunchables and in those plastic rings like beer or soda. I would go to the fridge and pull one off the rings like it was my afternoon brewsky. Let's just say that our trash was full of these things every week. I can remember drinking these while watching Cartoon Network, doodling in my drawing pads, or playing with my toys. These were always by my side back then.

Orbitz

One of the most unusual drinks ever to be made. Beautiful? Yes. Yummy? Not really, but something I miss tasting. It was a little too thick for my tastes because of the matrix in the liquid that was meant to hold up the balls. It was created in 1996, but quickly stopped production. The flavors were Raspberry Citrus, Blueberry Melon Strawberry, Pineapple Banana Cherry Coconut (yeah, a lot of flavors), Vanilla Orange, and Black Currant Berry. There was a Charlie Brown Chocolate, but I don't remember that one at all. The balls were like that found in Asian Bubble Tea, except smaller.


Pepsi Blue

Extremely good soda that ended too early. It was like a berry Sprite/soda. I loved it and the "BLUE" lettering. Very corresponding to the times. The commercial for this soda was with Papa Roach and featured the song "Time and Time Again". This drink probably met the demise of Crystal Pepsi because it associated a cola with something other than a brown color, but it really didn't taste like a cola. I wish they still made it, but it was just a fad.

Squeeze It Mystery Flavor and Fizzers

I miss the original Squeeze Its, but I especially miss the nasty tasting flavor of the Mystery Flavor. Yes, I said nasty. I still remember how it tasted and wish to get that jolt of grossness back into me before I lose it! It tasted like motor oil or rancid grape, that's how bad it was. Look wise, it was a dark, dark, dark purple in the recognizable face bottle. The Fizzers were a special Squeeze It that came with this small pellet that you would drop into the bottle to make it fizzy. Unfortunately, I could not find a pic for any of these versions of this great drink.

Super Mario Soda

This was probably the most limited released drink on this list, but everyone (to me) remembers it. I guess it came out during the Super Mario Bros. craze with the movie. The flavors were Mario Punch, Luigi Berry, Princess Toadstool Cherry, and Yoshi Apple. I loved the Yoshi and Princess ones. I can't conjure up too many memories of these, but I remember watching TV while sipping on them.

Surge

The Mac-Daddy of all missed sodas. So many good things about it, despite the myth that it shrunk the male genitalia. I'd drink it in spite of my mother's warnings and felt like a bigger kid while drinking it. I guess that's why so many of us revel in our memories with it. Quite honestly, after all the bottles and cans I gorged back then, I can't remember what it tasted like. I got the taste of Mountain Dew and Vault blocking that memory from my taste buds. More the reason to wish to try it again.

Snapple Elements

This was an awesome line from a trusted drink maker, Snapple. With witty names, cool labels, and great tastes, this one actually lasted awhile. The flavors were Velocity, Volcano, Voltage, Diet Air, Spark, and Rain. Each one had an ingredient that sort of helped in the naming of each drink.

I used to collect these bottles and fill them with water and the felt inside a highlighter to make them glow from the light of my blacklight. It was a cool way to make my room feel fricking awesome.

Whipper Snapple

Saving the best for last. This is the best drink I have ever tried, or at least smoothie imitating drink. The flavors were Peach Mango, Pineapple Orange, Strawberry Banana, and Citrus, but the flavor that I only tried and will never forget is the Orange Dream. Talk about smoothie-madness! I fell in love with it back in 1999-ish. My mom would stock the fridge with it and I'd drink it while watching Fox Family's The Basement afternoon block. Whenever we would go somewhere and my mom would let me get something to drink, this is what I'd grab. Sadly, they stopped making it and a part of me died with it.


TMNT Pizza-Crunchabungas

Consider this section a bonus. The TMNT Section! I wasn't big on the turtle video game or TV show, but the food and movies ruled my living room. Crunchabungas were a staple in our pantry. Little pizza flavored snacks with a bag covered with TMNT art. What more could you ask for?

TMNT Pudding Pies

AAAAAAHHHH!!!! Fried Green Pies! Don't be alarmed, they were pretty spectacular. Coming all wrapped in a TMNT infused exterior, you knew this stuff was gonna be good. The vanilla center was just something Hostess was not known for. They had the fruit stuff and chocolate pudding pies, but vanilla? Slap a TMNT decal on it and everyone would be pining for this stuff. I remember grabbing these things when I was really little and into the TMNT craze (sporting the T-Shirts, Velcro shoes, and all).

TMNT Slime Slurps

This is possibly the only thing still made in the entire article. Sure, these things aren't shaped into our favorite turtles (except maybe the new ones), but I'm sure they taste the same. I loved the TMNT versions when I was little. To describe how these things feel and taste in your mouth I recommend just sucking on a gummy bear and mashing it just a tad with your teeth. Take it out and inspect it. That's what these things are like. Soft, stretchy, and yummy.


Conclusion:
Thanks for reading. Hope you liked seeing some forgotten items and reading some of my memories. Now it's time to hear what you remember of these and any other foods that are no longer out there. There are countless things out there that have lost their time in our grocery stores, so start commenting. Until Next time...

Laters!
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