Alley Thug:
"Hey, would you stop with the wife shit?"
Joe:
"Ask me how fat she is."
Alley Thug:
"Fuck you, man. How fat is she?"
Jimmy:
"Danger's my middle name."
Joe:
"Mine's Cornelius. You tell anybody and I'll kill you."
Joe:
"You wanna fuck her? You gotta slap her thigh and ride the wave in."
Alley Thug:
"Hey, would you stop with the wife shit?"
Joe:
"Ask me how fat she is."
Alley Thug:
"Fuck you, man. How fast is she?"
Alley Thug:
"(After being punched to the ground by Joe)
You bastard!"
Joe:
"And then some!"
Joe:
"Now, I'm not saying she's fat, her high school picture was an aerial photograph."
Alley Thug:
"How fat is she?"
Joe:
"She's so fat I had to roll her in flour and look for the wet spot."
Alley Thug:
"Alright, you want it in the chest or the head?"
Joe:
"That's what your wife said."
Joe Hallenbeck:
"Now what are you doing?"
Jimmy Dix:
"Drawing them a picture."
Joe Hallenbeck:
"Of what???"
Jimmy Dix:
"It's a bomb."
Joe Hallenbeck:
"That does not look like a bomb. It looks like an apple with lines coming out of it. They're just going to say "Don't open the briefcase. It's full of fresh fruit"."
Jimmy Dix:
"You want to draw the dang thing?
(after informing them with the word BOM)"
Jimmy Dix:
"Happy?"
Joe Hallenbeck:
"Are you kidding me?"
Jimmy (to Darian):
"You want to be left alone, don't you?"
Furry Tom:
"Why did Mr. Milo cross the road?"
Joe Hallenbeck:
"I don't know Furball. Why?"
Furry Tom:
"Because his dick was stuck in a chicken."
Darian:
"Dad, can I show Jimmy off to my friends?"
Joe Hallenbeck:
"He's not a pet honey."
Joe:
"I swear to God if I live through this I'll do a f*cking jig."
Hallenbeck:
"Why did the cat cross the road? Cuz his dick was stuck in a chicken!"
Joe Hallenbeck:
"Hey, you got a car?"
Man:
"Yeah."
Joe Hallenbeck:
"Give me the keys."
Man:
"No way."
Joe Hallenbeck:
"Give me the keys or I'll shoot the kid."
Darian:
"Daddy."
Joe Hallenbeck:
"Shhhh."
Man:
"Well, okay."
Jimmy Dix:
"People must figure you are the dumbest guy in the world."
Joe Hallenbeck:
"Why is that?"
Jimmy Dix:
"Because you are trying to save the life of the guy who ruined your career and avenge the death of the guy who f***** your wife."
Joe Hallenbeck:
"Nobody likes you. Everybody hates you. You're gonna lose. Smile you f***."
Milo:
"You think you are so freakin cool? You think you are so cool? Just once, I would like to hear you scream in pain."
Joe Hallenbeck:
"Play some rap music."
Milo:
"You must be James."
Jimmy Dix:
"James?"
Joe Hallenbeck:
"He does that with everybody. He calls me Joseph."