Growing up as a child I was often left out when it came to activities involving other children my age. Not many of my fellow classmates in school wanted to associate with me. Whenever I wanted to participate in something I was often rejected. And because of this I often felt alone. Loneliness was a part of my reality for much of my childhood. This is the reason that I despise reality so much. As far as I’m concerned reality is full of chaos, pain, and death. And I didn't want to live in a world like that. So I would often escape into a life of fantasy using the television. Television gave me an opportunity to escape this cold world for a period of time. There was one TV show that I watched as a child that put me in the fantasy world I desired, the Bill Bixby classic "The Incredible Hulk."



"The Incredible Hulk," which originally ran from 1978 to 1982, is about a scientist named Dr. David Banner. One day while driving with his wife he gets into a car accident and his wife is killed. David Banner regrets the fact that he was not strong enough to save her. And so he begins to do research into incredible feats of human strength in times of stress. In an experiment to unleash his true strength he exposes himself to gamma radiation, but he accidentally exposes himself to too much. Now whenever he gets angry or outraged a startling metamorphosis occurs, and he transforms into a creature of immense strength and power, known as the Hulk. But when his anger subsides, he returns back to normal.



Dr. Banner tries to find a cure for his mutation with his assistant Dr. Elaina Marks. But during the experiment to cure Banner there is a lab explosion. The explosion kills Dr. Marks. Dr. Banner survives the explosion, but he is believed to be dead. And he must let the world think that he is dead, until he can find a way to control the raging spirit that dwells within him. He goes on a quest to find a way to cure him of the Hulk. So he goes from town to town changing his name, hoping the next town he visits can give him some hope for a cure. But while he is searching for his cure, he must avoid Mr. McGee, a reporter that was a friend of Dr. Banner's. Since the explosion, Mr. McGee has been hunting down the Hulk.





Every episode was a different adventure. It was always exciting to see what David Banner was going to do next week to try and cure himself. From time to time he would bump into people he knew from his past life, like his past students and family members. But he always had to leave. He always had to keep trying to find a way to live a normal life. At times he would get in trouble with some bad guys. That's when the Hulk would come in and smash them. I always thought those scenes were the best ones.



Every Saturday morning I would sit back and watch an episode on the Sci-Fi channel. I quickly fell in love with the show. It provided a door to escape reality and live in a world of fantasy for that one hour. Then afterwards I would imagine myself in the show and continue the fantasy. And, of course, I always played as the Hulk. The Hulk appealed to me a lot. He represented pure rage and strength. He was what I wished I could become at times, an entity of power that could protect himself and others from all the harm out in the world. The idea of having super-human strength and using it to help people and stop bad guys appealed to me more than anything else in the world. With super strength, you can destroy all the evil and harm that plagues the world.



My typical Hulk fantasy went like this. I would play the part of Dr. David Banner. Whenever something bad would happen, like a terrorist attack or a bank robbery, I would clench my fists and scream until I transformed into the Hulk. Then once I finished transforming I'd begin throwing bad guys around and tearing down walls. These fantasies were always fun.



But then several years later I wasn't able to watch the show anymore. I don't recall exactly what happened. Maybe the Sci-Fi channel stopped airing it. Maybe we lost the channel. It was so long ago that I don't remember. So although I lost the show, I didn't let that destroy my fantasy, I still played as the Hulk. And sometimes I still do.

At times I wish I could permanently live in a fantasy world where nothing bad happens and everybody is nice, and if they're not I can easily annihilate them with my super human strength. But I know at times we also need to live in the real world, no matter how cruel it may be. If we don't live in reality from time to time we will lose track of what's going on in the world. We could lose track of the ones we care about. We could even lose track of our own lives. Back when I used to watch the show I lived in my world of fantasy almost all of the time. But back then I needed that. Now that I'm older and more mature I can survive in the real world much better.



These days I do live in the real world, but I still find a way to escape into a world of fantasy. Without a little bit of healthy fantasy from time to time, I think we would all go insane. "The Incredible Hulk" has always been my door to escape this world and I hope it always is.