Not shown- thousands of bloody wrists

I’d like to take you back to the 80’s. I was just a kid so I don’t remember much, but I’ll try to set the scene. Slap bracelets were just about to get into a huge legal war for having pointy edges, everyone was wearing a shirt that highlighted your pit stains, and you weren’t cool unless you had a pencil that was made up of 2 billion little pieces and didn’t work if you lost one. A time when people felt it wasn’t right to let children drink coffee, and stacking empty nugget boxes at McDonald’s for your birthday was pretty fancy.



Through these wonderful but sometimes treacherous times I often needed help, and my big sister was there to lend it. Whether it be to comfort, support, or some other nice benefit, having a big sister is pretty sweet. I’d like to share 3 things I remember about my big sister and why they’re special to me.



Gotta start somewhere

1. Big Sisters Make Better Doctors
When we were little my big sister and I would play with the neighbor kids. There were two girls and a boy also older than me. We’d play all sorts of games but the favorite for the boys was Doctor. Oh man it was sweet. You’d just lay in bed and the big sisters would put a cool washcloth on your forehead, rub your arms nicely, and give you medicine. The medicine mostly consisted of raisins, the most awesomest medicine known to kids. If we were up to date on our insurance, Tic-Tac’s may also be used. We would switch of course, but us boys would do a terrible job just to get it over quickly so we could be the patients again.

And my sister was awesome with real injuries as well. Her method of using soap and water on my cuts instead of my mud baths worked much more consistently. I was allowed to live a carefree and reckless childhood because I knew someone was close by to stitch me back up.



The whole world loves it when a sister sings

2. Big Sisters Sing When You’re Scared
Silver bullets, wooden stakes, or blunt force trauma are nothing for keeping evil away like a sister’s song. Entire armies have melted into sobbing puddles as the sweet song of the innocent is carried through the air. People forget why they were fighting and remember to love one another. And a sister singing to you will also help your body fight cancer, no joke.

From when I was a baby to about 9 years old my sister and I shared a room. Well I’m not sure if we shared a room when I was a baby, but from when I could start remembering things, we shared a room. Now this didn’t happen all the time, but occasionally I would wake up from a nightmare that would paralyze me. I would be so scared I could only whimper in bed. Sure I was all manly and tough about it, but a tough whimper is still pretty wimpy. Now I’m frozen in bed replaying whatever horrible thing my subconscious created in my mind. Not good stuff. Eventually my sister would wake up and she would sing a song to help me fall back asleep. Her voice was soothing but it was also comforting knowing someone was in the room to protect me.



When you're scared, this is exactly what a big sister looks like

Other times she’d sing just to help me fall asleep, and this was much more frequent. There didn't need to be a special reason, she’d sing because she knew I liked it. Although thinking back now, it’s possible she was just trying to get me to sleep through the night so I wouldn’t wake up later. Eh, either way it helped me and was really nice to have.



So your little brother IS home? YES!!!

3. Sleep With Her Friends
Now for the best part of having a sister, banging. Gross man! I meant her friends you sick bastard. Seriously, get some help. My sister is 2 years older than me, which meant so were most her friends. There were some hotties too. High school was a great time because she paved the way for me. She established a friend base that I could occasionally glob on to and ogle.

And we’re talking sleep over’s, study dates, practices, social visits, sneaking peaks at the cute little brother, birthdays; they were over all the time. Every reason I stated is a certified fact of why these girls were coming over, especially the reasons towards the end (not birthdays). I would see some of these girls all the time and would have a chance to chat or say “hi” in my squeaky non-confident teenage voice of mine. They loved me. Well maybe not all of them, but I hit it off with a couple.



Since I can't show the real picture, let's just assume she looked like this, but with red hair

And I feel comfortable sharing this because you’ll never know who I am, but my first time dancing the horizontal polka was with one of her friends. She was a super cool girl and we had some really good times together. However, having your sister’s friend come over to see you instead of her is an easy way to do nothing and get your sister mad at you. Is it worth it though? You betcha.


That’s it. I wanted to share some of the nice things about having a sister and use this as a chance to say thank you to mine. I’d love to hear some stories about your siblings if you’re willing to share.
Let’s spread some love people, starting with our sisters friends!