Bad Dreams are Made of Cheese

Where the hell did this pop up?
On
April 03, 2009
To start things off, throughout my entire life, I've had the most surreal dreams that anyone could imagine. I could remember dreams that I had from years ago! The only thing I wonder is how they come upon our heads...

Does everyone have their own special dream delivery person who can read their minds or something? I think there might be. If so, then maybe it's like how in TV shows when characters have dreams about something, I would think the dream delivery person would be all like, "Uh-oh, this guy's got a problem, I should give him a solution." or "This guy did something wrong, I should warn him about it." It's not like that with me, however. My dream delivery guy doesn't pay attention to me and just goes, "Duhhh, zappy, zappy, zappy!" sending me completely random stuff to my head! Most of the time, I try to dream about what I think about or hope to have a dream about something, but most of the time, it doesn't work. I oughta fire my dream delivery guy and hire a new one.

Anyway, this was all build up to what I'm going to talk about in this article, so I hope I can at least interest some of you guys.

Let me take you back to the year, 1994. I was nine years old and in the third grade. The current thing that ment so much to me was "Sonic the Hedgehog". I'm talking about the Saturday morning cartoon, of course, and back then, that's why I always looked forward to Saturdays so much back then.

Well, on February 27 of that year, I had a bad case of the blues. It was Sunday. I knew in the back of my head that I had a whole week of school coming my way, plus I had to wait a long time for Saturday morning to come just so that I could see my Sonic cartoon again. Not a good feeling. Well, as I went to bed that night, I was given such a surreal dream that just added on to my depression!

If I remember correctly, it began in what looked like a pound, but in the locked cages were chickens.

Sonic and Tails were there looking at them, but Sonic opened up one of the cages, and then a puff of smoke blasted. Next thing I knew, the chicken was gone, but Sonic was now acting like a chicken!

I began wandering around aimlessly while Sonic continued to act like a chicken (though I have a feeling he was faking it).

It seemed like then, I was in a forest.

Next thing I knew I was in what looked like some kind of futuristic hallway, like something out of Star Wars.

Standing in the hallway was Princess Sally. It looked like she was talking with her little portable computer she called Nicole. I walked up to her to ask her something, but she turned around, noticed me, elbowed me away, and told me to back off. In addition, she knew my name!

Later, I found myself outside and heard that Sonic had come back to his normal self. I then heard Sonic say to somebody that he and Tails were hungry, but I didn't know where they were.

I then saw this big strange machine. It had a suspended cable, which carried these things over to one side. What it was carrying were jars of honey, but they weren't ordinary jars. They looked like peanut butter jars, and they were being brought five jars at a time, each with a letter: H, O, N, E, Y.

Then I turned to another point in the machine and see this big red indescribable face. It looked similar to this thing:

On the face's top lip was a sign that said "EXIT". Exit? Do you think that would be necessary to put up there? That kinda reminds me of Sylvester McBean's Star-On and Star-Off machines; you know, the ones that inconveniently said "In" and "Out" on both sides?

And on the face's lower lip was another "EXIT" sign...just in case we didn't see it the first time. The honey jars came tumbling out of the mouth of this face.
Now, let me ask you this: is there a point of having such a machine for any kind of purpose?

But now, it makes even less sense, because guess who shows up right now. Seriously. I want you to take a wild guess who is to show up at this very moment.

That's right. Winnie the Pooh! He apparently placed an order of honey for this thing.

Anyway, I look back at the jars making their ways across, but one of them falls off the clip causing the machine to break, and then the other jars fall off. After this, Pooh gets really upset, but do you want to know what he does next? I don't think you do.

Now, he sings a song! A really sad song talking about how much honey means to him. I can't tell you exactly how the song went, but it sounded kinda similar to the "Bluebird" song from "Follow That Bird".

Well, after that pointless scene, I felt like crying because I had no idea what was going on anymore!

I then found myself in what looked like a real world. I was in what looked like my own house, and there were real people all around, including my parents. My mom gave me a lunch pail with a packed lunch inside of it. I then was greeted by this lady who seemed really friendly. She was going to take me somewhere, so I went with her.

That was when I woke up. It was still dark out. A few minutes later, I heard the clock out in the living room chime. It was 5:00 A.M., just two hours before I had to get up and get ready for school.

That whole entire day, I was crying almost the whole day because of that dream I had. I didn't want to talk about it, though. That dream I had was so surreal and humiliating that I don't think anyone would have the guts to talk about it.

Okay, so with all that said, I wish you all a good night, and I hope that you all pray for nicer dreams...
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