Diet Nintendo

That was how one reader summed up my last article. Curious as to what the origins and etymology of this monosyballic caption was, I looked it up. It meant indifference...Indiffernce! That's Genious!






I know the whole Nintendo video game subject has been done to death many times. Although I would like to be the one to put the final nail in the coffin...so to speak. I have read many articles about peoples' favorite games and their worst games. It seems that it's either the best or the absolute worst that get all the attention. But what about all the In Between games? The ones that after playing leave you thinking "Meh." The game wasn't so crappy that you would want to put a hex on the developer, and it didn't blow up your skirt either, metaphorically speaking. I want to go into some of the most borderline games for Nintendo that I have ever played, I'll keep it short, just 5 games (Believe Me, 5 is PLENTY)
So throw on your Extra-Medium T-shirt, grab a glass of lukewarm OceanSpray and have a seat...I promise you by the end of this article you'll all be saying "Meh."







I'd give it a solid 5 out of 10. Pitfall was pretty on the outside but ugly on the inside. The graphics were pretty good with lots of color. I was anxious for this game because it reminded me of Indiana Jones and Gorillas in the Mist all mixed into one neat 3" by 5" grey cartridge. I remember plugging it in and watching the intro. I hit the start button and started playing, it was great! The colors of the jungle and the animations were pretty nice. But after about 20 minutes of hacking through the jungle foliage and slinging stones at mischevious monkeys I started losing interest. If it wasn't for the secret inclusion of the original Atari game I would have never saw it through. After beating it I didn't feel the usual euphoric sense of accomplishment. It felt sort of like finishing a book report, it took alot of work and you were glad it was overwith.











Come on, it's Pokemon, it's gotta be good. I remember first seeing this game at Blockbuster. They had it hooked up to a tv, there was a line of kids waiting to play it. After waiting an excruciating 20 mintues It was finally my turn. I grabbed the warm and sweaty N64 contoller and started up...just as I was about to embark on my photo safari my mom came and told me that we were leaving and that I better go pick a game. Dissapointed I went and looked at the selections. What game do you think I chose? That's right, Pokemon Snap. Pokemon was huge at the time and I think that Nintendo was getting desperate and would have released a Pokemon Sudoku game if they had the chance. I got home and popped it in. The game starts you off in all-terrain buggy type thing and you start off taking pictures. I admit that most people detest this game but I was so jaded by Pokemon that I didn't care. Although in the end I niether loved it or hated it.





[align=center][size=48]It's what I always wanted...kind of[/size]




It's Like Eating Ice Cream on a Winter Day. Gradius 3 is a perfect example of a game that was good in spots and bad in spots but leaving an overall mixed feeling. It suffered from Slow Down when too many things were going on screen. I remember getting to the level where the Easter Island dudes are spitting out Fruit Loops and you have to dodge them, what a headache. But Gradius was addictive. I finally was so fed up with being beaten in the game that I had to resort to using the Infamous Konami Code. You know what I'm talking about, UP.UP,DOWN,DOWN,LEFT,RIGHT,LEFT,RIGHT,B,A. Although even with that it was still hard. I recently went on youtube and saw all of these videos showing people beat the game with ease and finesse. I thought to myself "Well can they eat 4 TacoBell Cheezy Beany Burritos in a Row? I'd like to see them try!"




[align=center][size=48]Who'd thought Demolition would be so...ordinary[/size]

[/align]





If this game were a animal, it would be a porcupine with no quills. Blast Corps If I remember correctly came with the N64. It had a unique style. You were part of a Demoltion Crew and you had to take out obstacles with various machines. There was a 3 wheeled bike that fired missiles, a giant mechanoid man creature and a big BullDoser. There were more but those are the ones I used most. This game's strenghts were in the novelty of blowing buildings and crushing houses. Once the craving for random and merciless destruction went out of my system I went about trying to beat the game. In the end it was pretty pointless but I still racked up alot of hours playing. I'd reccomend this game for anyone with anger managment issues, just turn the game on and you could start reeking mayhem on the city. Just remember when you wan't to change vehicles to drive to the next one because it will take five minutes to run the little driver guy to the next machine.




[align=center][size=48]Video Games or Arithmetic...hmmm[/size]




God creates dinosaurs. God destroys dinosaurs. God creates man. Man destroys God. Man creates dinosaurs... After Mortal Kombat came out a whole avalanche of bloody fighting games came out. In Primal Rage a meteor struck "URTH" and caused Lizards and Apes to become big, ugly and mean due to radiation. Radiation can do wonders for any comic book, game or movie. You don't need to come up with some ridiculous story on how a character got their powers or abilties, Just throw in the "R" word and it all makes sense. This game was contraversial because of the violence and gore. I played it because Dinosaurs duking it out was one of my biggest fantasies, aside from wishing Cheetara was a real person. I heard that there was a move where Chaos would pee on his victim! It was taken out due to complaints. Some times developers aim for the stars but their hopes burn up in the ozone layer and just barely deliver.






[align=center][size=48]Wake Up!!![/size]

[/align]





If your still awake, Good Job! Well there it is my take on 5 pretty ok games. Either this article will be favored with roses and shouts of "Encore!" or rotten tomatoes and "Boos." But I felt it my duty to brake the same old, same old. Goodbye and thanks for your time!



[align=center][size=48]That's a wrap.[/size]

[/align]