Married ... with Children
Debut: January 01, 1987
Ended: January 01, 1997
Debut: January 01, 1987
Ended: January 01, 1997

Married with Children was a show about the lives of the disfunctional Bundys. Al Bundy is a middle aged shoe salesman who works at Gary's Shoes and Accessories for Today's Woman. The highlight of Al's life is scoring 4 touchdowns in one game for Polk High when his team won the High School Championship. Peg Bundy is Al's lazy, money-sucking wife from Wanker county. Kelly Bundy is his slutty blond bimbo daughter. Bud Bundy is Kelly's younger brother who constantly tries to pick up on hot women but never quite manages.

Kelly: "Dad, take a look at me. What do you think? (She's wearing a red dress, tight black high heels and a LOT of makeup)"
Al: "What do you mean "What do I think?""
Kelly: "You know. Tell me what you think of my outfit. Don't worry. You can say ANYTHING. I can take it."
Al: "Ok. Well, I think you look like....MARY POPPINS!"
Audience: "(Laughter. Especially with Kelly's expression)"
Kelly: "MARY POPPINS?! MARY POPPINS?! I come out here dressed like a Hollywood Superstar, and you think I look like MARY POPPINS?!"
Peg: "Kelly, what's the matter, honey?"
Kelly: "Dad says I look like MARY POPPINS!"
Peg: "No, you don't."
Kelly: "Ok. Then, What do YOU think?"
Peg: "The dress looks great on you. But, I DO think you went a little "overboard" with the makeup, though."
(NO DIALOGUE. JUST ACTION): "(Kelly sighs, screams and runs out the door) (She is still screaming)"
Al: "Nice going, Peg."
Peg: "ME? YOU were the one who called her "MARY POPPINS!""
(NO DIALOGUE, JUST ACTION): "(They sit quietly, hoping Kelly will come back)"
Added By: NewUser2020
Al Bundy: "I'm going to sit down and watch the news, and when it's all over I want some form of dead animal on my plate."
Added By: funguy10
Buddy Burgers jingle: "Buddy, Buddy, Buddy Burgers, made with love... and lard!"
Added By: System
Kelly: "Well, Dad, I guess this is au revoir. Mom, adidas."
Added By: System
Al: "Peg, I'm not a cartoon; I'm almost a human being, dammit!"
Added By: System
Al: "I'm blind and I smell like summer rain!"
Added By: System
Fat woman 1: "We're activists Mr. Bundy"
Al: "Apparantly not active enough"
Fat woman 2: "We marched yesterday"
Al: "What was it? Hams across America? The Million Pound march?"
Added By: System
The Aliens: "Mazuzu"
Added By: System
Peggy: "I thought a man's home was his castle?"
Al: "That's only if he can slay the dragon living there first"
Added By: System
Kelly: "You'll never guess what I got."
Bud: "A better game would be guess what you haven't got. I'll take virginity for $100, Alex."
Kelly: "That's funny, nobody will take yours for less than a thousand."
Added By: System
Al: "'I Care' by Al Bundy. When hooters jiggle around and I find nickels on the ground, I care. When a Mustang engine purrs and the bathroom is not her's, I care. When the pitcher's on the mound and the wife is underground, I care. But when I've been playing this for days, I will kill anyone who stays, I swear!"
Added By: System
Al: "Peg, this is my house. If you want it to look better, dust. If you want it to smell better, cook. If you want it to be happy, leave. But do not touch this house, I am not a man happy with change."
Peggy: "Well, that explains your job and your underwear."
Added By: System
Al: "A fat woman clip-clopped into the shoe store today, said, "I'd like something I'd be comfortable in." I said, "Try Wyoming"!"
Added By: System
Al: "My toilet's not a man! My Ferguson has become...Fergie!"
Added By: System
Peggy: "Look, why don't you at least try the new bathroom, I put a very special feature on it. When you flush the toilet, it plays "We've Only Just Begun"."
Al: "Peg, you know that's our wedding song! Everytime I hear it, it freezes up my innards solid!"
Added By: System
Al: "[to Peggy] I'm gonna get me a Big Boy socket wrench set. Man, it's gonna be great. I'll go around this house and tighten more nuts than you did in high school."
Added By: System
Al: "[to God] Thank you. Not even this, huh? What is it? Is Oprah right? Are you a big, fat woman? All I wanted was a 45, a stinkin' 45! The record or the gun! Hell, I'd even settle for the damn malt liquor!"
Added By: System
Peggy: "Al, what should we name the baby?"
Al: "The Reaper?"
Added By: System
Kelly: "Why doesn't the world explode into a firey, pus-filled death? A fat woman comes to the gate today, her mu-mu covering what must've been three or four heinies. Now, she could exit through the little, itsy-bitsy turnstyle or a huge gate. Guess which one she chooses. A line was forming, so I had to do something. So I got a tub of butter from the Delta Burke "Let's Get Big" exhibit, and oiled her up. Then I went over to Star Trek Land, hot-wired the Enterprise, and sent it up where no man has gone b"
Added By: System
Al: "[after knocking Peggy up] God, I feel like Exxon, one spill, I'm paying for it the rest of my life."
Added By: System
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