Quote O' Matic
TV Salesman:
"So what can I do for you, gentlemen?"
Otis:
"Boy, it's hot in here. Isn't it?"
TV Salesman:
"I'm kind of cold."
Otis:
"We want a TV."
TV Salesman:
"How much you got to spend?"
Henry:
"[to Otis] What do you got?"
Otis:
"Fifty bucks."
TV Salesman:
"[pointing to the B&W TV] I can let you have that set over there for fifty bucks."
Otis:
"Well, turn it on. We want to see if it works."
TV Salesman:
"What's the matter? Don't you trust me?"
Otis:
"Uh uh."
TV Salesman:
"[grabs TV plug and hands it to Otis] Here. Plug it in, down there."
Otis:
"Here?"
TV Salesman:
"Yeah, down there. Real good. I see you've had some college. [TV turns on playing static and in black-and-white] Like you can see it, works real good. Just takes a while to warm up."
Otis:
"It's black-and-white."
TV Salesman:
"Of course, it's black-and-white. What do you expect for fifty bucks? Fucking 3D for Christ's sake?"
Otis:
"Well, how much is color? We want color."
TV Salesman:
"You can't get color for fifty dollars."
Henry:
"That's okay, let's see what you got."
TV Salesman:
"What have I got? You want cable-ready? You want remote control? You want UHF? You want thirteen-inch? You want nineteen-inch? I bet you'd love to have a nineteen-inch. You want Sony? You want Zenith? Do you want a GoldStar?"
Henry:
"What can we get for a hundred-and-fifty?"
TV Salesman:
"[points to one of the other TV sets off-camera] We'll let you have this set for a hundred-and-fifty. It's worth three-hundred. But here, take a look at this. For an extra seventy-five, you can take this six-hundred dollar set."
Otis:
"[Otis picks up the video camera] What's this?"
TV Salesman:
"It's a camcorder."
Otis:
"What?"
TV Salesman:
"It's a video-tape recorder and camera rolled into one. You just pop in a cassette and you're ready to go."
Otis:
"You can make your own movies with that?"
Henry:
"What else would you do with this? How much you want for it?"
TV Salesman:
"It's worth a grand. I'd take half."
Henry:
"Five-hundred bucks?"
TV Salesman:
"Yeah. Half of a grand is five-hundred dollars."
Otis:
"That's a little more than we were planning to spend. I think we should just take the TV."
TV Salesman:
"Okay, which one do you want?"
Otis:
"The fifty dollar one."
TV Salesman:
"The fifty dollar one... You guys come in here, I show you this, I show you that and you creeps got a lousy fifty dollars to spend? You should've stopped me a long time ago. Take the fifty dollar set and get the hell out, I'm a busy man."
Henry:
"Well, we were really counting on a color set."
TV Salesman:
"[growing angry] What's the matter, you got shit in your ears? The black-and-white is fifty dollars! Take it or leave it!"
Henry:
"Sorry for wasting your time. Come on, Otis."
TV Salesman:
"Don't give me sorry you dumbass. Did I stutter? Give me the fifty dollars and GET OUT!"
Henry:
"I'll give you FIFTY BUCKS! [stabs his hand with a soldering iron; then he stabs his body, strangled his neck with a power cord and smashed his head with a black-and-white TV] Otis, plug it in. [Otis plugs in; TV Salesman electrocuted with the broken TV screen on his head]"
Added By: Clint_Olson
