Release: April 26, 1991

Angelo "Snaps" Provelone (Sylvester Stallone) is a profitable gangster during the Prohibition. He promises his dying father that he'll go straight, and the movie is set on the day he has a meeting with bankers to do just that. However, everything goes wrong--he is woken up by his accountant who tells him he's been stealing from him in order to have enough money to marry his daughter, Lisa (Marissa Tomei). He promises to give it to her in a suitcase full of jewels. She hears of someone's proposal and says she is pregnant so she can get out of the house. However, there is more than one daughter, and several suitcases. Maids, cops, bankers, mobsters, linguists, and ex-lovers run around the house all day and are finally all discovered in the hilarious conclusion.

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Father Clemente: "Oh, by the way? Congratulations on your daughter marrying Bruce Underwood."
Sophia: "Oh, I'm afraid there's been a change, Father. She's now marrying a nice Italian boy. Anthony Rosano."
Father Clemente: "It's all for the better. Nothing like a big Italian wedding! Anthony Rosano!"
Snaps: "Well, forget Anthony, she's not marrying him any more."
Sophia: "What?"
Father Clemente: "Well, that's a shame. But she's young. Someday she'll find the right one."
Snaps: "She's found the right one."
Sophia: "Who?"
Snaps: "Doctor Poole!"
Sophia: "Doctor Poole?"
Dr. Thornton Poole: "[leans over railing] Hello!"
Aldo: "Never witness nuthin'. You live longer."
Aldo: "Lemme me show you tha door; [shouts and points to the door]"
Aldo: "There's tha door!"
Lisa Provolone: "...I wanna lay on the beach in Honolulu!"
Snaps: "Do whatever you want, just don't leave this room!"
Snaps: "Mornin', Doc!"
Dr. Thornton Poole: "Mr. Provolon-e. Where are those G's?"
Snaps: "[slaps money bag] In here."
Anthony Rossano: "When I took over, your books were a mess."
Snaps: "They don't sound like they're in no great shape now! [to himself] Damn, a double-negative."
Connie: "I warned him, boss."
Aldo: "Anthony said it was a matter of life an death, boss."
Snaps: "And will you two mugs stop callin? me "boss"? It ain't respectable!"
Aldo & Connie: "Sorry, boss."
Snaps: "If it's Poole you want, it's Poole you'll get. But, Lisa, you've *got* to cross the finish line on this one! This is your third fiance today and it ain't even lunch yet!"
Snaps: "You're a butler now! Butle!"
Snaps: "Let's get started, I got until noon to look like a banker."
Finucci: "Oh, we make-a you look like a banker... take off-a you pants."
Anthony: "All that travel must cut into your home life."
Dr. Thornton Poole: "Well, I don't spend as much time with mother as I'd like. But she's got the cats."
Snaps: "Connie! Am-scray!"
Connie: "Do I have to, Boss? Every time I leave I fall behind."
Dr. Poole, a linguist: "[about Snaps' daughter, Lisa] She seems to have such nicely rounded diphthongs!"
Snaps: "That's what got her into this jam!"
Snaps: "[After Poole says "honest crook" is an oxy moran] Poole was right! You are an ox *and* a moron!"
Eduardo: "Ah, so now you wanna make-a peace with you papa? You wanna me die happy."
Snaps: "Of course, Papa."
Eduardo: "So now you *wanna* me die! [slaps him]"
Snaps: "...Take Louie 'The Lug' McGurk. Died tragically at 25."
Anthony: "I'm twenty five. What happened?"
Aldo: "Somebody stepped on his fingers."
Anthony: "And that killed him?"
Aldo: "He was hanging from a window ledge of the Edison Hotel at the time."
Lisa Provolone: "You kept me a prisoner up here - like Rapunzel."
Snaps: "Well, you certainly ain't Snow White!"
Sophia: "Look at the example you've set! Filling the house with thugs, goons and hit men!"
Snaps: "All right... sometimes I had to bring my work home with me..."
Dr. Thornton Poole: "Aldo is a treasure trove of linguistic anomolies."
Snaps: "[to bankers] You come into my house with your filne print and addendums... and try to con me out of my dough? Geez, I'm used to dealing with mobsters, bootleggers and gonzos... but you bankers are scary."
Kirkwood: "[rising out of the chair] I have never been so insulted in all my life."
Snaps: "Wait. You're young yet."
Aldo: "Oh, Dr. Poole! Come on in. The boss been expecting you."
Dr. Thornton Poole: "[chuckling] Aldo, do you realize what you just did?"
Aldo: "What?"
Dr. Thornton Poole: "You used the past participle without a modifier."
Aldo: "I did? What's the rap on that?"
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