Buford T. Justice:
"(shouting at a trucker that has sheered a door off of Justice's patrol car) "I saw that, you sombitch! You did that on purpose! You're going away till you're gray!""
Buford T. Justice:
"Give me a diablo sandwich, a Dr. Pepper, and make it quick, I'm in a god-damn hurry!"
Alabama State Trooper:
"Did you see that? They went right through our roadblock!"
Buford T. Justice:
"You som'bitches couldn't close an umbrella!"
Buford T. Justice:
"Do what I say you pile a' monkey nuts!"
Buford T. Justice:
"Nobody, and I mean NOBODY makes Sheriff Buford T. Justice look like a possum's pecker."
Junior:
"My hat blew off, daddy."
Buford T. Justice:
"I hope your goddamn head was in it!"
Buford T. Justice:
"This happens every time one of these floozies starts poontangin' around with those show folk fags."
Junior:
"(waiting for the funeral procession) "Damn, he had a lot of friends, didn't he?""
Buford T. Justice:
"If they'd a cremated the sum-bitch. I could be kickin' that Mr. Bandit's ass around the moon by now."
Buford T. Justice:
"Duck or you're going to be losing a head!"
Snowman:
"Is she wearing a wedding dress?"
Bandit:
"She was"
Snowman:
"What she wearing now? Her mind?"
Snowman:
"You can't drive a forklift"
Bandit:
"I can drive any forking thing I like"
Sheriff:
"You can think about it...but don't do it!
-Sheriff"
The Bandit:
"Look over your right shoulder.
-The Bandit"
Sheriff:
"When we get home remind me to punch your momma in the mouth!
-Sheriff"
Sheriff:
"There is no way, No! Way! you come from my lions, When we get home remind me to punch your momma in the mouth.
-Sheriff"
Sherrif's son:
"Daddy, the top came off!
-Sherrif's son"
Sheriff Justice:
"I ain't got time for that crap!"
"You tick turd!!
-Sheriff Justice"