Twice Upon a Time
Release: August 05, 1983
Release: August 05, 1983

"Twice Upon a Time" is an animated cartoon feature from "Star Wars" creator, George Lucas and "Ewok Adventure" director, John Korty. The story involves a battle royal amongst the employees of Murkworks over possession of a "cosmic clock." Whoever controls Time will control the universe, so you can well imagine that some of the characters consider this struggle of life-and-death importance. Were this a Disney film, there might have been more story and less "mood". But the Disney people might not have used the singular animation technique showcased in this film: Lumage, a process involving what looks like (but aren't) paper cutouts.

Flora: "Uncle Greenie, is it really you?"
Greensleeves: "Basically it is, yeah."
Flora: "You're short and bent!"
Greensleeves: "I'm short and bent."
Flora: "What happened to my Uncle Greenie, the handsome dashing hero?"
Greensleves: "He got short and bent. But he's glad to see you nonetheless... come here darling, let me give you a kiss you sweet love! [sound of kissing]"
Rod Rescueman: "[enviously] *I* should get short and bent!"
Added By: Clint_Olson
Ralph: "[looking at pictures of Din] Hey, it looks real nice. Are they friendly at all?"
Botch: "Oh, they are! They love to be friendly except they rush around so much, they don't have the time to be friendly."
Ralph: "The "what" don't they?"
Botch: "The TIME. They have clocks and watches on their wrists which tell them the time they don't have because they are always rushing. And they think they don't have..."
Ralph: "Wait, wait, I'm not get... What is "time"?"
Botch: "Two o'clock, four o'clock, five o'clock."
Ralph: "Yes, but there's something that tells them that they don't have something?"
Botch: "Yeah."
Ralph: "It's a clock?"
Botch: "It's a clock."
Ralph: "And they watch it?"
Botch: "They watch it."
Ralph: "And it tells them...?"
Botch: "The time."
Ralph: "That they don't have."
Botch: "It's simple, easy. Get it?"
Ralph: "Oh. Uh... Uh-huh."
Added By: Clint_Olson
Fairy Godmother: "Oh, help! Damsel in distress currently on fire!"
Rod Rescueman: "Would you like to be rescued?"
Fairy Godmother: "[fire stop blazing] More than life itself! [fire begins to blaze again]"
Rod Rescueman: "Let me just suck those flames up then! [sucks flames into his mouth]"
Fairy Godmother: "My hero!"
Rod Rescueman: "Thank you! [blows out flames all over the fairy godmother turning her black and crispy with the top of her wand eventually falling off]"
Fairy Godmother: "Oh, jeez! This is pain!"
Rod Rescueman: "Do I get the job, or should we move right onto the shark infested waters test?"
Fairy Godmother: "I'll give you the job, you'll get out of here!"
Added By: Clint_Olson
Rod Rescueman: "I'm a super hero!"
Fairy Godmother: "You're kidding"
Rod Rescueman: "I'm actually not a full fledged one, I'm on my learner's permit but that's almost as good."
Fairy Godmother: "You have a resume, perhaps I could check something out?"
Rod Rescueman: "Yeah I do, right here. It's a blank piece of paper but it is notarized and it's legal signed."
Fairy Godmother: "You've made my day! If only I could give you a little test you could show me that you're capable of doing..."
Rod Rescueman: "I've got an idea!"
Fairy Godmother: "Yes?"
Rod Rescueman: "Why don't you give me a test?"
Fairy Godmother: "There's an idea!"
Rod Rescueman: "Thank you!"
Fairy Godmother: "Let me think of something... Here we go, I though of it so very quickly, let's pretend that I'm a damsel in distress."
Rod Rescueman: "You'll be the damsel in distress."
Fairy Godmother: "Better me than you."
Rod Rescueman: "Well I couldn't rescue myself, that doesn't count."
Fairy Godmother: "It really doesn't. [flies up onto her desk] OK, to make it a little more interesting I will be a damsel in distress currently on fire."
Rod Rescueman: "At this moment, on fire."
Fairy Godmother: "Here we go. [lights a ring of fire around her] Oh, help! Damsel in distress currently on fire! Oh, help!"
Rod Rescueman: "This is the test where I show you..."
Fairy Godmother: "This is where you jump in and do something!"
Rod Rescueman: "Alright, you're on fire..."
Fairy Godmother: "Currently!"
Rod Rescueman: "Excuse me ma'am! Superheros are very polite!"
Fairy Godmother: "[fire stops blazing] Skip polite, go right back! [fire starts blazing again] I now feel molecules charing internally!"
Rod Rescueman: "Gotchya!"
Added By: Clint_Olson
Ralph: "I got a duck?"
Added By: Clint_Olson
Ralph: "Ok, ok. I'm scared; it's official."
Added By: Clint_Olson
Automated feminine voicetrack: "Welcome to the Garbagerie. Please follow the happy feet."
Added By: Clint_Olson
Rod Rescueman: "[Flying in with fanfare] Hello."
The Fairy Godmother: "Yes, who are you?"
Rod Rescueman: "My name is Rod Rescueman."
The Fairy Godmother: "And what do I learn from that?"
Rod Rescueman: "My name."
Added By: Clint_Olson
Botch: "[Discovering Rod Rescueman has rescued Flora Fauna] How did this happen? Where were you, watching reruns again? I don't wanna hear excuses! She'll be back; The Murkworks is in her blood, her sap, her plasma, or whatever she has!"
Added By: Clint_Olson
Scuzzbopper: "I'm through with nightmare scripts! I'm starting work on The Great Amurkian Novel! Pulitzer Prize, here I come!"
Added By: Clint_Olson
Flora: "Uncle Greenie, where are you?"
Greensleeves: "Under the door, ya twit!"
Rod Rescueman: "That's a pretty stupid place to be when people are knocking doors down!"
Added By: Clint_Olson
Fairy Godmother: "Call me F.G.M. I hate excess verbiage."
Added By: Clint_Olson
Greensleeves: "Happy as rats they are. They tap dance not, neither do they fart."
Added By: Clint_Olson
Ralph: "Thank you Fairy God Mother!"
Fairy God Mother: "Call me F.G.M. ... I hate excess verbiage."
Ralph: "We've been fired by a fairy. How humilliating."
An unhandled error has occurred. Reload Dismiss