In 11th grade, while walking around my high school track in gym class, one of my "friends" (not a very good one :() told me I needed to "break out of my shell." She was a cynical and bossy girl who thought that I was way too idealistic and happy all the time. I acutely defended myself, saying that I had every reason and right to be happy in a world full of unhappiness. Back then, sure I had my moments of unhappiness, but for the most part those days in high school were great - no worries about the future because it seemed so far away, and that great feeling of knowing exactly who I am and where I want to go with my life.

Sadly, I have broken out of my shell these past two years. No, I am still a happy girl, for the most part. But my shell of innocence and idealism has broken, and I have become more tired and cynical of the world and its unfairness. I blame this somewhat on college, because its endless supply of work and my endless worry about my future have somewhat drained my pool of idealism, but I also blame it on myself, in part, and on what has happened to our society in the past couple of years.

There is a silver lining to "breaking out of my shell." I have become less shy in college, and now I have more friends than I did in high school. So it isn't all bad. I just wish I had some of that idealism back that inspired me so much throughout high school.

So, when did you break out of your shell?

My shell came in the form of antisocialism and deep thought or depression. There was a time when I was soul searching, I guess I was about 18. I kept to myself a lot and thought about many great questions. When it was time to function again I stepped up to the plate and took a swing. I have had a good run so far with a few strikes (ok, why am I using baseball metaphors? ha-ha). Anyhow, as humans we go through many changes in life, usually brought by experience. Stay true to yourself and your instincts and always use an equal combination of mind, body, and heart. And about the state of the world, yes, it is terrible. The world can bring you down sometimes. It is not human to ignore that, but we can also do well by seeing the beauty in this life.

I'm 19. And I'm slowly coming out. Not easy, but kind of rewarding.

Sorry to ask, but what does "break out of your shell" mean?

I guess I did when I was a freshman in high school. Then I went back in during college. Now I'm half in, half out... I guess.

I think its important (to me anyways) to still hold on to whatever it was that made us who we were when we were young, but still be a functioning, sociable adult. I'm definately not the most outgoing person, but for the most part, I try to keep intense introspection and philosophical quandries mixed together with actuall DOING STUFF!

Then when I do stuff, I can have more to go back to my little cave and muttle over.

Nicely put, Ilikethepixies.

I'm 23 and I still haven't "come out of my shell". I've got a few friends at college but I'm mostly anti-social and always will be. I cannot change destiny.

i was always a social guy in school. i was that guy that wanted to be seen.

I definitely agree with you there, Ilikethepixies. We should all hold on to the part of our shells that made us who we are today. When I say "break out of your shell," I mean breaking out of the idealistic and internal world and lives we all live out in our minds (like we did in childhood) and deal with the unfairness of the world. I am still very much an internal person, but I have been trying to make a positive break out of my shell by giving back to my community to make it a better place and being true to myself.

I find it hard to give anything to my community. In fact, the word community means little to me. I usually pick up trash around my block, but thats about it. I really admire people who go out of their way to help though, its nice.

I guess I haven't came out of my shell yet. I've never been a social person.
I only deal with people when I have too.

I think we have two definitions of the term "shell" going here. The first being "a shell of childlike innocence", and the second being a "shell of shyness or social inept".

Just an observation.

This could be a really long story, but I'll just say it happened twice for me. Once in sixth grade and then again my Junior year in high school.

I agree, Kayvee. I'd say the childlike innocence is going to be broken one way or another (unless you're Bjork or someone like that)... but the shyness is different. I had a friend that was super shy up to the 9th grade then he completely changed. He became completely outspoken on everything.

I asked him why and how that happened, and he said "One night I got fed up with everyone's bulls---, and I told myself I wouldn't go another day without confronting people about it." And thats just what he did.

I also know what you mean about community. I live in a very transient place, just outside DC, where a lot of professionals come for a few years and move away, so not a lot of people have strong ties. I have been going down to New Orleans every so often to help with the clean up and actually feel a greater sense of connection down there than I do where I live. Its kind of sad.