You've got your Comedy Central, MTV, VH1, FOX, CBS, ABC, Cartoon Network, etc... You know, the mainstream stuff. The other wave of channels is that median-level stuff, like PBS and... TBN... but, on these two channels and the like, the magic is that the lowest-grade of televised media is allowed to be aired. I'm not simply speaking about programs with low budgets, but programs with terrible writing, acting, effects, and overall premises. And sometimes, this stuff can get REALLY BAD.


On this clip, we see a show featuring a very shady-acting ventriolquist puppet and a slightly effeminate man discussing how young boys exploring basic sexual interests is an evil thing, and the whole nature of the clip is really creepy and ironic, because it seems the entire clip is laden with homoerotic undertones.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uInie1PpXZ8

Here's another example of what's wrong with certain public-access programs: they can allow REALLY stupid people to say whatever they want without getting axed. This guy claims celebrities such as Michael Jackson, Kool Moe Dee, Spike Lee, Russell Simmons, and Jimmy Jam all copied his "ideas" to create the perfect Christian youth-targeted media and claimed them as their own work, and calls them "frauds" and "copiers", when this man has no evidence that he was the real creator of the media that he claims was stolen.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GSWZa9EIXhE

Another weird show: this one has an almost-middle-aged man acting like a little kid conversing with a turtle and trying to trick him into "monkeying around with firecrackers", which, as this show suggests, is supposedly a direct violation of God's word. It's all really creepy, the acting is horrible, and it goes way overboard on conveying its message.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=meDwPCr2PKk

This is one of the non-christian horrors that I'll talk about. It's just really terrible, and the song is enough to make anyone want to turn off the television. From what I see, it looks like they were trying to copy "Sesame Street", and failing, using an ugly puppet, loud, annoying sounds, really bad music, and a very bad song.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VmCeMvNbtDg

This one seems really pumped with "speed", cocaine, and sugar. The show is hyperactive, very stupid, and the characters all seem like they're on drugs. All this and they're trying to teach kids geography.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MDeBMxlt7LQ

You've probably seen this one before. It's that show with the crazy old guy with a guitar, the freakish, racist puppet named "Chip, the Black Boy", and some random guest. It's horrible, overly-preachy, creepy, and the puppeteering is really bad in this one.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NerhSOI6gjU

This is just sad. While he doesn't seem up his own ass about things, the poor guy can barely speak english, and the editor treats him like he's Billy Graham or something. Now, the best part about this that makes it extremely laughable is the stupid commercial halfway through the clip, and the abrupt cut from the lawn-mower toll-free commercial back to Mr. 2nd Language Preaches.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PXRvwiK9hac

The final clip I'll show you isn't simply weird or creepy, it's insanely bizzare: a RETARD hosting a cooking show. It's scary as hell, and the fact that you can't tell if he's joking or not or why he's doing it is unsettling...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XwVol7CJjkY

What's really sad, though, is the fact that the most common theme in these shows is Christianity. Are this and those snooty, fake, corrupt, holier-than-thou televangelists the best my Religion has to offer? It seems like half of these programs were done by rednecks or overzealous lunatics who think that Christianity is all about hating gay people, condemning people who do "bad things", and acting like a total freak when someone says "Jesus". I think Christians can do better than this, and other than a few, it sucks. But, I don't mean to turn this into a religious discussion, so keep religious discussion to a minimum.

This is my favorite public access personality http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WAwLYJYsa0A

WOW... I had no idea this existed. It's great. :lol:

I know! I nearly did a real spit-take when I saw it.

There's a public Access show in the Orlando area called Having a Beer with Mike. It's just random guy drinking beer with friends and random celebs and sometimes doing skits.
Here's a clip
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mM4wN9jN1Zw

We have one called "Fishing with John"

This one creeped me out the most:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=0K-foKERvHc
It's real sad that people are this lazy. :shock:

Nantucket's morning show is pretty sad too.

Don't forget this genius: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0OhZbNL9Jq0

I wish Ottawa's public access had been more fun when I volunteered there, most of the shows were pretty boring.

It's too bad, in the past Rogers cable 22 used to have a good live music show, a really funny sketch show called Lisa Virture's Virtue Reality and the early work of Tom Green. By the time I volunteered there it was mostly cultural shows and stuff like Swap Shop. Most of the staff agreed with me that Rogers 22 was missing out on the entertaining tv it used to have.

Swap Shop was occasionaly fun to work on cause of the prank callers and nutbars that would call in. I mostly did vtr and audio for Swap Shop so I could laugh my ass off without any worries of it majorly effecting the show. Also the station parties were always fun, we went to cool places and I took home cool prizes like a transistor radio with seven bands of shortwave.

The majority of these Public-Access shows ARE creepy. But they're also pretty damn hilarious! :lol:

True, I've watched those clips of that crazy black woman's sex talk show a couple of times.

"There's a microphne attached to speakers people can hear me out of? Finally the demon monkies that live in my hair will get a chance to have their message heard." - Patton Oswalt's impersonation of homeless people at open mic nights, but it works for people on public access tv too.

I consider YouTube and the like the new public access.

Note how that retard cook (man, I feel awful for saying that!) says "Oh, Jesus Christ, I hate this" in a normal voice at 2:40. :lol:

Ugh, I found another one:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=bSQbX4D-iVA
I'm gonna be scarred for life. :shock:

Note that the bubbles are mostly coming out their ass. :lol:

True, true.

Here in Oregon, we have this boring old fart who blathers on about nothing or does something weird.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uL3tEgXGuXs

I found yet another one:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=omtl5JePkgU
Man, Butch sounds baked. :lol: