Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory Quotes
Hey, Mom, we're on TV! Hi, everybody in Marble Falls! Hi, Billy! Hi, Maggie! Hi, Fishface! How do I look?
Stanley Kael:
You guys are ready?
Yeah, You're on!
Stanley Kael:
Well, this is it folks. This is the big day, the historic day on which Willy Wonka has promised to open his gates and shower gifts on the five lucky winners. From all over the globe, people have gathered here waiting for the hour to strike, waiting to catch a glimpse of that legendary magician Mr. Willy Wonka.
Sam Beauregarde:
Hi, friends. Sam Beauregarde here. The next time you're in Miles City, Montana, don't forget to visit Beauregarde's AutoMart.
Cut it out, Dad; for heaven's sake, this is my show! Hi, Cornelia sweetie, I've still got it. And how's this for a stretch?
I want to go in first before anybody else.
Mr. Salt:
Anything you say, sweetheart.
Mrs. Gloop:
(taking food away from Augustus) Save some room for later, Augustus liebling [darling].
Grandpa Joe:
I don't believe it. We did it; we're actually going in.
Grandpa Joe:
We're going to see the greatest of them all: Mr. Willy Wonka!
[Clock strikes ten]
[The front door opens, Wonka steps out and walks on the red carpet and does the somersault]
[Everybody cheers]
Thank you. Thank you. Welcome, my friends. Welcome to my chocolate factory. (to the ticket holders) Would you come forward please?
Mr. Salt:
Veruca first! Get back, you! Come on, Veruca sweetheart!
[Slugworth gives it a thumbs up]
That's Slugworth! That's the one I've told you about!
Welcome. It's nice to have you here. I'm so glad you could come. This is going to be such an exciting day. I hope you enjoy it. I think you will. And now would you please show me your Golden Tickets.
Mr. Salt:
Veruca, Sweetheart! I am not a magician!
Computer Operator:
Gentlemen, I know how anxious you've all been during these last few days. But now I think I can safely say that your time and money have been well-spent. We're about to witness the greatest miracle of the machine age. Based on the revolutionary Computonian Law of Probability, this machine will tell us the precise location of the 3 remaining golden tickets. [pushes buttons on the machine; the machine prints out a response] It says: "I won't tell. That would be cheating." [pushes the buttons on the machine again] I am now telling the computer that if it will tell me the correct answer, I will gladly share with it the grand prize. [the machine prints out another response] He says: "What would a computer do with a lifetime supply of chocolate?" [sighs, then pushes the buttons once again] I am now telling the computer exactly what he can do with the lifetime supply of chocolate.
I'm sorry, Mrs. Curtis. Doesn't seem to be anything in his papers to give us a clue.
Mrs. Curtis:
They kidnapped my husband twelve hours ago. When are we going to hear from them? What do they want?
Try to stay calm. They did it for ransom. All we can do is wait to hear their demands.
Mrs. Curtis:
I'll give them anything, anything they want! All I want is to have Harold back!
(Telephone rings)
(on phone) Hello? Go ahead, we're listening. Uh huh. Uh huh.
Mrs. Curtis:
What did they ask for? Whatever it is, they can have it.
They want your case of Wonka Bars! Mrs. Curtis, Did you hear me? It's your husband's life or your case of the Wonka bars?
Mrs. Curtis:
(after a brief pause) How long will they give me to think it over?
Hold on tight everybody, Here it comes!
Run home Charlie! Run home as fast as you can!
Who do you blame when your kid is a brat? Pampered and spoiled like saimese cat. Blaming the kid is a lie and a shame. You know exactly who to blame? Blame the mom and dad.
Ooompa Loompa doompy da. If you're not spoiled you will go far. You will live in happiness too like the Oompa Loompa Doopity Do.
Well he got what he wanted.
What's that?
Veruca went first.

--Willy Wonka and Grandpa Joe
Charlie? My boy, YOU'VE WON! You did it! You did it! I knew you would, I just knew you would! Oh, Forgive me for putting you through this. Please forgive me. Come here, Mr. Wilkinson. Charlie, Meet my friend, Mr. Wilkinson.
It's a Pleasure.
It's Slugworth!
No, no, no! That's not slugworth, He works for me.
For you?
Why yes! I had to test you, Charlie. And you passed it. YOU WON!
Grandpa Joe:
Won what?!?
The Jackpot, My dear sir. It's the grand and glorious jackpot!
You mean the year supply of chocolate?
The year supply of the chocolate? Oh yes, The year supply of Chocolate. But that is just the beginning. We have so much time and so little to do, Wait a minute! Strike that, Reverse it! Thank you. This way, Please! We will take the Wonkavator! Step in, Charlie! Grandpa Joe, Sir! (As they enter the Wonkavator) This is the great glass Wonkavator!
Grandpa Joe:
It's an elevator!
It's a Wonkavator! Elevators can only go up and down, But a Wonkavator can sideways, backways, roundways,
And squareways.
And anyways you go. Just press the key to go to any room in the factory. Press the key and "ZING!" You are there! By now I pushed all the keys in the factory. Except one. (points to the key that Wonka never pressed before). Go ahead, Charlie! Press it!
Who me? (Presses the key) (Engine starts)
Here we go. Not sure where we are going! Faster, Faster, If we don't get enough speed, We will never get the day through
Granda Joe:
Through what?
Up and Out!
You mean it?
I sure do!
Grandpa Joe:
(terrified) But the roof is made out glass. It's gonna smash into pieces, and we will be cut to ribbons.
Probably! (In caution) Hold on tight, everybody! Here it comes! (Wonkavator crashes through the ceiling window, And nobody was cut to ribbons)
Grandpa Joe:
There's no earthly way of knowing. Which direction we are going. There's no knowing where we're rowing. Or which way the river's flowing. Is it raining? Is it snowing? Is a hurricane a-blowing? Not a speck of light is showing.So the danger must be growing. Are the fires of hell a-glowing? Is the grisly reaper mowing? Yes! The danger must be growing. For the rowers keep on rowing. And they're certainly not showing. Any signs that they are slowing! - Willy Wonka
"Candy is dandy but liquor is quicker."-Willy Wonka
"In springtime the only pretty ring time birds sing hey ding. A dinga ding sweet lovers love the spring."-Willy Wonka
"A little nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest men"-Willy Wonka
"But I want an Oompa Loompa now!!!"-Veruca
"Can it, you nit!!!!!"-Violet
Oompa, Loompa. Oompa di di!
-Oompa Loompas
Grandpa Joe why won't she listen to Mr Wonka?
Because she, Charlie, is a nitwit.

--Grandpa Joe and Charlie
Mrs. Gloop: (after Agustus falls in Choco River) You must save him!Agustus can't swim!
"Wonka: "There no better time to learn."
Mrs. Gloop:
(after Agustus falls in Choco River) You must save him! Agustus can't swim!
Willy Wonka:
There's no better time to learn.

Willy Wonka:And Charlie..Remember what happened to

the man..who suddenly found out that he got everything

that he ever wanted?

Charlie Bucket:(Asks in wide eyed wonder)What happened

to him?

Willy Wonka(Replies with a big warm and friendly smile):

He lived happily ever after!(Embraces the boy in his arms

..as Charlie cries and the film goes into it's final credits)
Grandpa Joe:
What she wants is, a good kick in the pants.