Sexual Witchcraft

Release: April 15, 2011

Sheri Williams and Carrie are sisters, and both are witches. When Carrie conjures Cleopatra so that the ancient queen can teach Sheri bedroom secrets to help her newlywed sister have a happy marriage, the duo get into a heap of trouble because people realize something strange is going on with the two siblings. Soon they have to set things straight before everyone finds out about their magical abilities.

Posters

Quotes

Sheri Williams: "Carrie! What the hell is going on here?!"

Carrie: "Uh... I, um, well, uh... this is your wedding present!"

Sheri Williams: "What? Who is that girl?"

Cleopatra: "I am Cleopatra, queen of Egypt."

Sheri Williams: "Right. What is going on here?"

Carrie: "Well, um, it's like this: Uh, I overheard you and David talking on the phone about the cosmetic line and you needing a new idea!"

Sheri Williams: "Keep talking."

Carrie: "Well, who has better beauty secrets than Cleopatra! So I brought her here from ancient Egypt so that she could tell me, and I could tell you as a wedding present. But she wanted a tribute before she would tell me, so I was just pouting up. That's all."

Sheri Williams: "That's an incredible story."

Carrie: "I know it's an incredible story, but it's true!"

Sheri Williams: "Okay. What is Cleopatra's big beauty secret?"

Carrie: "Well, I don't know. Cleo?"

Cleopatra: "June bugs."

Sheri Williams: "June bugs?"

Cleopatra: "June bugs. You take the tiny little wings and crush them into a fine powder and mix them into your base makeup. It gives the skin a brilliant glow."

Sheri Williams: "I'm supposed to tell David that he needs to grind up the wings of June bugs and place them in Maribelle's beauty products?"

Cleopatra: "Works for me."

Added By: CardassiaPrime

Cleopatra: "What... is this? Where am I?"

Carrie: "Well, it's the 21st century, baby! Like it?"

Cleopatra: "Everything seems so strange... so different."

Carrie: "Well, I know, but if you help a girl out, I'll shoot you right back to whatever sand dune you came from."

Cleopatra: "I am Queen Cleopatra! No one speaks to me in this manner!"

Carrie: "Oh! I'm sorry, Queen. No disrespect intended. I just haven't rubbed elbows with royalty before."

Cleopatra: "I see. And what is it you wish of me?"

Carrie: "Well, I'd really like to know what your beauty secrets are. Clearly, you're doing something that works, and girls this day and age would love to know what it is."

Cleopatra: "My beauty secrets... Now, why should I tell you my beauty secrets?"

Carrie: "Uh... 'cause you're a nice person? Listen, what can it hurt? I mean, you've been dead for thousands of years."

Cleopatra: "I can never grant a wish without being paid tribute. What is it you offer?"

Carrie: "Uh... I, I don't know. I mean, what would make you happy?"

Cleopatra: "You are quite beautiful yourself. Your tribute would be... to please me."

Carrie: "Please you? You mean, like... please you?"

Cleopatra: "You may begin now."

Carrie: "Well...the price is certainly right."

Added By: CardassiaPrime

Carrie: "Beauty secrets... hmm. What women have wanted to know for ages... and hasn't been discovered. That's it! Cleopatra, the most beautiful woman in history. I guess if I found out, that would be a very fitting gift for Sheri and David. Cleopatra, Cleopatra, queen of the Nile, drop in and see me and stay for a while. Oh! Wow, I'm good!"

Added By: CardassiaPrime

Carrie: "Can I help you?"

Abigail Turnbull: "You're not Mrs. Williams!"

Carrie: "Wow, you're quick. Uh, now what I can do for you, Mrs...?"

Abigail Turnbull: "Turnbull. Who are you?"

Carrie: "Well, I'm Carrie, Sheri's girlfriend."

Abigail Turnbull: "I never saw you come in the house today!"

Carrie: "Well, I didn't know anyone was watching!"

Abigail Turnbull: "Well, I..."

Carrie: "Okay, listen... listen, it's okay. I understand."

Abigail Turnbull: "Is Mrs. Williams here?"

Carrie: "Well, she is, but she's in the shower. Okay? I'll tell her you stopped by."

Abigail Turnbull: "All right. I'll come back later."

Carrie: "Thank you."

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Sheri Williams: "Wow. Must've been the champagne."

Carrie: "Hungover?"

Sheri Williams: "What are you doing here?"

Carrie: "Well, I thought I would drop in to... check out your new digs."

Sheri Williams: "People usually wait for an invitation first."

Carrie: "Why would I do that? We're practically family. Why pick knits?"

Sheri Williams: "What do you really want?"

Carrie: "Me? Nothing! But your absolute happiness. After all, that's why I am your best friend."

Sheri Williams: "You were never really a great friend. You didn't even give me a wedding gift!"

Carrie: "Well, not yet. I feel bad about that, but I'm working on it. By the way, does your husband know you're a witch yet? Was that not in the vows: "I will take this witch to be my lawfully wedded hag"?"

Sheri Williams: "No, he does not know yet. Didn't seem too important to mention it at the time."

Carrie: "Well, I'm sure he'll be surprised when he finds out."

Sheri Williams: "And how would he find out?"

Carrie: "I... I don't know, but I'm sure it'll slip out sooner or later."

Sheri Williams: "I'm sure with you, it'll be sooner."

Carrie: "Perish the thought."

Sheri Williams: "Well, if you don't mind, I've got things to do."

Carrie: "I can take a hint. Catch ya later, BFF."

Added By: CardassiaPrime