Harry:
"I can't believe we drove around all day and there's not a single job in this town.
There is nothing, nada, zip!"
Lloyd:
"Yeah, unless you want to work 40 hours a week. Pfft!"
Lloyd Christmas:
"Nice accent....New Jersey?"
Lloyd:
"This isn't my real job you know."
Mary:
"No?"
Lloyd:
"Nope. My friend Harry and I are saving up our money to open up our own pet store."
Mary:
"That's nice."
Lloyd:
"I Got Worms."
Mary:
"I beg your pardon?"
Lloyd:
"That's what we're gonna call it. 'I Got Worms.' We're gonna specialize in selling worm farms. You know, like ant farms?"
Harry:
"My parakeet Petey. He's dead."
Lloyd:
"Oh, I'm sorry, Harry. What happened?"
Harry:
"His head fell off."
Lloyd:
"His head fell off?"
Harry:
"Yeah, he was pretty old."
Harry:
"I was expecting the Rocky Mountains to be a little rockier than this."
Lloyd:
"I was thinking the same thing. That John Denver's full of shit man."
Harry:
"Jeez look at the butt on that."
Lloyd:
"Yeah. He must work out."
Harry:
"I pictured the Rocky Mountains to be a little rockier than this."
Lloyd:
"Yeah, that John Denver was full of shit."
Lloyd:
"Excuse me, Flo? What's the soup du jour?"
Waitress:
"It's the soup of the day."
Lloyd:
"Mmmmmm. That sounds good. I'll have that."
Lloyd:
"We've landed on the moon!"
Lloyd:
"You cant triple stamp a double stamp!"
Doorman:
"Excuse me gentlemen, this is a $500 plate dinner. Goodnight."
Harry:
"Ohhhhh. Alright ok no problem. Here, put us down for four.
[Harry hands the doorman $2000.]"
Lloyd:
"In case we want seconds."
Cop:
"Pullover!"
Harry:
"No, it's a cardigan but thanks for noticing."
Harry:
"Nice set of hooters you got there."
Mary:
"(covering her breasts) I beg your pardon?"
Harry:
"The Owls, there beautiful."
Harry:
"Just when I think you couldn't do anything any dumber you go and do something like this.... AND TOTALLY REDEEM YOURSELF!!!"
Policeman who stops Harry & Lloyd for having open beer bottles in the van.:
"Are you aware its against the law to have a open alchol container here in the state of Pennsivina. C'mon give me that booze you little pumpkin pie haircutted freak C'mon!!!"
Mary:
"I hope you're not using the toilet it's broken."
Harry:
"Huh?"
Mary:
"The toilet doesn't flush."
Harry:
"According to the map, we've only gone 4 inches."
Harry:
"You sold my dead bird to a blind kid?!"
Lloyd:
"Harry, I took care of it!"
Lloyd:
"Man, you are one pathetic loser."
Lloyd:
"So what happened, Har? Some little filly break your heart?"
Harry:
"No, It was a girl."
Lloyd:
"Oh!"