1-900 wants to be a kinky Basic Instinct-style erotic thriller set in the world of adult phone lines. James Gioia and Lance Gray both have an amiable regular-Joe quality, but their tedious banter is only the least interesting of a fairly dire collection of scenes. As in many direct-to-video features, shots are often held too long, so the viewer is left to watch people shave, sleep, eat dinner, and brush their hair for no apparent reason. The sound suffers from that all-too-common echo chamber effect, which takes something away from the overwritten script's numerous dialogue scenes. Add to this the poor lighting, unflattering videography, oddly unappealing femme fatale, and wretched folk songs on the soundtrack, and the result is a real yawner. There are a few moments of unintentional humor which may give the film some camp appeal, thanks to an amusing turn by Christienne Wadsworth as the first victim's bitter lesbian ex-wife, who knows more than she lets on about the murders. Wadsworth's final scene with the nude Thys is a hoot, but it's a long 90 minutes getting there, because this "erotic thriller" is neither erotic nor thrilling. The only basic instinct most viewers will feel during 1-900 is the ingrained drive to turn off their VCR's before dying of boredom