Thread: Rock's Most Embarrassing Siblings

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    • 9 years 4 months ago
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    Synopsis: Alcoholics. Hookers. Crackheads with imaginary friends. If you think rock stars are weird, that's only because you haven't met their brothers and sisters.

    Story by: Ben Mitchell
    Source: Blender magazine #41, October 2005

    NATHAN FOLLOWILL: Plays drums for hillbilly fashionistas Kings of Leon - with his two brothers, Caleb and Jared, and their cousin Matthew.
    DALTON CONLEY: Professor of sociology, award-winning social scientist and author of The Pecking Order: Which Siblings Succeed and Why.
    TAYLOR HANSON: 27-year-old lead singer - and middle brother of three - in all-grown-up pop moppets Hanson. Their latest CD is Shout It Out.

    Who? Jimi's spirit-guided brother
    Family Ties: Jailed for stealing a fur coat, Leon was granted a temporary release to attend Jimi's funeral in 1970. After the late guitarist's estate passed to his illiterate gardener father, Al, his adopted daughter Janie allegedly persuaded him to cut Leon out and give her full control of the Hendrix legacy and fortune. Bequeathed a single gold record upon Al's death in 2003, Leon sued for a bigger cut, but was denied. Earlier in 2005 Leon claimed a purple flame shout out of the sky and Jimi appeared to him in a vision saying "Come on, baby brother. It's time. You're ready" - after which Leon took up the guitar and started booking shows.
    EXPERT TESTIMONY: "He's lucky to get the one gold disc," says Nathan Followill.

    Who? Prince's ethereal sister
    Family Ties: Prince's younger sister was joined on interviews for her limp 1988 album Royal Blue by a large blue stuffed dinosaur called Jazz, which she kept on a leash and hugged; she also wore two watches - one set to "Marc Anthony time" in deference to an imaginary boyfriend, not J. Lo's future husband - and had such an aversion to light that she covered her windows with aluminum foil. Fifteen years later, in an interview with National Enquirer, she admitted to having been a crack addict who sold her body to buy food for her two sons, Sir and President.
    EXPERT TESTIMONY: "When the young sibling is trying to capitalize on the older sibling's success, that can make the more successful one uncomfortable," says Dalton Conley.

    Who? Elton John's layabout half-brother
    Family Ties: In contrast to Elton's life of Marie Antoinette-costumed fabulosity, half-brother Geoff is a hard-up eccentric with a petty-criminal past. Geoff, now 43, lives in a small house in Wales - but for a while relocated to a shack in the garden so he could rent out the main property. Geoff's interests include Eastern religions and making Celtic harps. He's only met Elton - 20 years his senior - three times, but claims he lost what respect he had for him when John failed to attend their father Stanley's funeral: "In the end, I think it came down to money. My dad was never impressed, while Elton was obsessed by it."
    EXPERT TESTIMONY: "If you're coming from a working-class family and discover that you're gay, you tend to go in search of a new life," says Conley.

    Who? Michael's impressionable sister
    Family Ties: The now 54-year-old Jackson sister enjoyed moderate success as a solo artist until, in 1987, she struck out from the family - and the real trouble began. After she posed naked - with a snake - in Playboy, her new manager Jack Gordon realized her tabloid moneymaking potential. She did a Playboy video, wrote a salacious autobiography, made claims of child abuse against both her father and Michael, married Gordon, and endorsed a Psychic Friends hotline. Since her 1996 divorce, LaToya has been welcomed back into the fold by the Jackson family.
    EXPERT TESTIMONY: "LaToya was going to be f***ed up no matter what," says Followill. "Maybe she did all that to take the heat off Michael. Apparently, it didn't work ..."

    Who? Oasis duo's shiftless brother
    Family Ties: The oldest Gallagher was dealt a cruel genetic hand, combining the looks of Noel with Liam's intellect. As Oasis's career took off in the mid-'90s, Paul landed a short-lived job as a talent scout at his brothers' record company and became a face on the London party scene - although he still lived with his mother. In 1996 he wrote Brothers: From Childhood to Oasis, a flattering bio that included the introductory explanation, "To all the people who see this book and think, 'Oh, look, Mr. Paul Anthony Gallagher is cashing on his brothers' fame,' yes, you are right, and I'm spending every penny to buy myself some self esteem." Last seen in the British press riding a bus under the headline NO DOUGH-ASIS!
    EXPERT TESTIMONY: "I think anybody would be unhappy with someone who took advantage of something you've done for their own gain," says Taylor Hanson. "No matter who it was."

    4. MIDORI
    Who? Jody Watley's porn-star sister
    Family Ties: Clubland diva Jody's kid sister, following a brief role in the 1988 Eddie Murphy movie Coming to America, changed her name from Michele to Midori and took parts in such adult fare as United Colors of A** and Sex Hungry B***hole S***s. Dated Kid Rock in 1999, discovered she was pregnant after they'd broken up and decided not to have the baby. "She was a great f***er, but a complete psycho," explained Rock before moving on to reliable girl-next-door type Pamela Anderson. Eagle-eyed fans can spot Midori among a trio of half-naked girls pleasuring Andrew Dice Clay on the cover of the Dice Man's 2000 album, Face Down, A** Up.
    EXPERT TESTIMONY: "It would be kind of weird knowing every one of your buddies had touched themselves to your sister," says Followill. "But that's not as embarrassing as having a brother that's a porn star."

    Who? Madonna's DUI-prone older brother
    Family Ties: When the alcoholic Ciccone was arrested for drinking and driving for the third time in 1994, Madonna took a "tough love" approach and left Martin to fend for himself financially. Without bail money to hand, he spent three months in a Michigan jail; afterwards he launched a spectacularly unsuccessful rap career as MC Ciccone with the album Judgment Day, the lyrics of which featured both anti-Madonna material and some vivid descriptions of non-consensual prison loving. In 2000 he complained that he wasn't invited to Madonna's wedding to director Guy Ritchie - even though at the time he was undergoing rehab at her expense.
    EXPERT TESTIMONY: "There's a cost to having a successful sibling," says Conley. "You might pursue unwise strategies to replicate that sibling's success - for example, in the music industry - even if that isn't your talent."

    2. C-MURDER
    Who? Master P's incarcerated brother
    Family Ties: This hip-hop also ran changed his name back to Corey Miller earlier in 2005, claiming that "C-Murder" literally referred to his having witnessed a lot of homicides rather than committing any himself. This decision was made while Miller was being held at Louisiana's Jefferson Parish jail for the fatal shooting of a 16-year-old aspiring rapper. He also faced charges of attempting to kill a man at a Baton Rouge nightclub in 2001. C-Murder angered authorities by filming a video while behind bars, and his lawyer was banned from bringing him pens in case he used them to smuggle lyrics. Master P believes in his brother's innocence, though he warns youngsters not to flirt with thug chic to look tough: "Hopefully this teaches kids that you can't live that type of life no more," said the No Limit mogul, who was charged along with his older brother, Silkk the Shocker, for carrying unregistered, loaded firearms earlier in 2005.
    EXPERT TESTIMONY: "Family are the people you can never completely push away," says Hanson. "But when you talk about murder, a clear line has pretty much been drawn, no question about that."

    Who? Mariah Carey's hooker sister
    Family Ties: Pregnant at 15, Mariah's elder sister dropped out of school and turned to prostitution to support her drug habit. Alison has been arrested twice in 2005 - the second time for reportedly offering sex to an undercover police officer in Long Island. The HIV-positive mother of four has insisted that she turned tricks to enable Mariah - whom she describes as a "heartless multimillionaire" - to travel to her early gigs by limo. A bridesmaid at Mariah's doomed 1993 marriage to label boss Tommy Mottola, Alison is said to have inherited $1 million when the girls' father, a successful engineer, died in 2002. Allegedly, fast living soon ate up this fortune, hence the return to hooking for up to $300 a pop.
    EXPERT TESTIMONY: "That's the saddest story I've ever heard in my life," says Followill. "She needs to go to church."

    "I am such a purist for old information on anything '70s and '80s."
    • 9 years 4 months ago
    • Posts: 726
    A question, Ben; do you have a hard drive with every article from Blender you cut and paste or something? I'm getting tired of you spamming this forum with shitty Blender articles.

    • 9 years 4 months ago
    • Posts: 74775
    This is plagiarism. No source link. Locking it.
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