LMAOooo...you guys are too much! I'm scrolling through the post like this ops: Chaos aren't your fingers tired?? But all us Retro Junkies must unite and become one axis of power that will take over the whole world wide web!! muahhaa*coughcough* I have a cold
Hello super fans and welcome to super battle's im Johnny no nut's and today we will be watching a team Battle between our very own super battle warrior's and the eco friendly Captain planet and the planeteer's.
To help me comment on this match i have a partner over to you....
Hello folk's im One hair on bollock's boy and i will be helping Johnny on today's match let's get down to the battle zone and see the action...
LET'S GET READY TO RRRRUUUUUMMMMMMMBBBBBBLLLLLEEEEEEEE!!!
(Camera zoom's down to battle zone)
Well today's battle zone is a toilet and inside the toilet is a turd. Our warrior's and the opposing team have been shrunk down to a tiny size to battle it out on this battle ground. What do you think No nut's...
(One hair's voice)
This i am betting is going to be a strange match and who know's how bad it smell's...
I know how bad it smell's coz i was the one that supplied the turd for this match. Anyway i see the first two warrior's to do battle and they are our very own Megatron not to be confused with the evil decepticon megatron. Coz this show had to be delayed for a short while coz some dumb autobot's thought our megatron was the real megatron so they blasted our SUPER BATTLE'S HEADQUATER'S those f**king idiot's. Anyway megatron's opponent is Kwame and they both look focused and ready to battle.
(Kwame is the first to attack using his ring and the power of earth he causes the toilet to shake and Megatron almost fall's into the toilet. But megatron manages to grap on to a piece of toilet paper that was hanging over the rim of the toilet and stop himself from falling inside.)
(One hair's voice)
Wow that was a close call, Lucky that piece of toilet paper was there or megatron might have come to a very smelly and sticky end.
(This time megatron attack's jumping into the air and delivering a flying kick to Kwame and knocking him to the ground. Then moving quickly jump's on top of him and begin's to pummel his face. But as megatron gain's the upper hand a blast of wind send's him flying backward's and sliding close to the rim of the toilet.)
Oh my it look's like Linka has joined the battle and has come to the aide of Kwame. Poor megatron now has to face both of them and still there is no sign of his team mate's.
(Linka summon's the power of wind and create's a swirling vortex that blow's the smell of the turd at megatron who begin's to choke on the over powering smell. But then Linka is knocked down from behind and standing behind her is Nik who is ready for action.)
(Nik-----> "This time a plan on winning this match without my tit's coming out")
(Nik rushes over to Kwame and deliver's a knee to the nut's causing Kwame to collapse on the ground. Then she turn's her attention back on Linka who is getting ready to use her wind power again. But Nik is too fast and deliver's a flurry of punches to Linka knocking her back down.)
(One hair's voice)
Wow this match is incredible, It seemed as if the planeteer's had the upper hand but now the tide has turned and our warrior's are gaining the upper hand.....OH NO WHAT'S THIS....
(As Nik and megatron have there attention set on Kwame and Linka they do not realise that Gi and Wheeler have entered the battle. But they soon realise that they are there when Wheeler summon's the power of fire and blast's megatron in the ass making him jump 6 feet in the air squeeling like a pig.)
(Megatron----> " AAAAIIIIIIEEEEEEE!!!!!")
(Nik try's to help megatron but Gi summon's the power of water and causes some of the toilet water to rise up and knock Nik into the toilet.)
(Nik------> " AHHHHHH!!!")
OH NO! this is terrible super fan's it seem's as if the tide has turned again and now poor nik has fallen down the Toilet and onto the turn. OH THE HUMANITY if i knew my turd would be the down fall of one of our super warrior's i would have just had a piss.
(Nik land's on the turd and one of her leg's sink's into the sticky shit causing her to be stuck. As she struggle's the rising smell of the turd begin's to make her dizzy. And realising this she dig's her hand deep into her top and into her bra and pull's out............ ...... ...... ..... ...... Some cleanex that she had stuffed down there to make her tit's seem bigger.(<<<<<<<FORGIVE ME NIK )
(She place's the cleanex over her nose and mouth to block out the stench and begin's to try and free her leg from the turd.)
(Meanwhile back at the top of the toilet)
(The four planeteer's lay into megatron who is outnumbered making him back away and to the edge of the toilet. Just as it seem's he is about to fall in MR SQUISHY arrive's and deal's a crushing blow to the four planeteer's Knocking them over and giving megatron a chance to get away from the edge.)
(One hair's voice)
This is incredible who will win in this titanic battle? and who......
OOOOOooooooo Johnny you will have to take over for a minute my stomach hurt's and i need the loo.
Erm ok.... Well fan's MR SQUISHY has joined the battle and now it is getting interesting, We have poor Nik still stuck on that turd and our two other warrior's battling for there live's on the rim of the toilet seat who will win? WHO....WILL....WIN????
(Megatron move's in quickly and give's Wheeler a good smack in the face which make's him fall over the edge and down into the toilet. Meanwhile MR SQUISHY deliver's his Raging claw attack knocking Kwame and Linka into the toilet also.)
(Down on the turd)
(Nik finally free's her leg and begin's to look for away out. But then her attention is drawn to the planeteer's who have fallen into the toilet and onto the turd. She begin's to look for who would pose the most threat first, She see's Kwame who is trying to help Wheeler who has fallen head first into the shit and got his head stuck,Then she see's linka who is gagging on the smell of the turd. Nik move's in for a attack on linka when a Fly come's swooping down carrying Ma-Ti on it's back.)
(Ma-ti------> "Quickly all of you let's combine our power's")
(Captain Planet----->"By Your Powers Combined, I am Captain Planet!")
(Cheesy song kick's in)
Captain Planet, he's our hero Gonna take pollution down to zero He's our powers, magnified And he's fighting on the planets side
(all the planeteer's join in)
We're the planateers, you can be one to Cos saving the planet is the thing to do! Looting and polluting, Is not the way, Hear what Captain Planet, has to say
(Nik--------> "You'll pay for this Captain Planet!!")
(A flash of light beam's out of the planeteer's ring's and Captain planet emerge's and fly's at MR SQUISHY. He then charge's into MR SQUISHY sending him flying into the air. MR SQUISHY trie's to retaliate by using his Raging claw attack while still flying high into the air, But captain planet is to fast and catches MR SQUISHY and throw's him into the toilet.)
(Captain planet the goes after megatron and with one punch send's him also plummeting into the toilet. Then he fly's down into the toilet himself to finish off the super battle warrior's but as he move's in for another attack a dark shadow loom's fill's the toilet causing all the the fighter's to look up and see what is causing the darkness. As all the fighter's look up they see a huge hairy arse coming down onto the toilet.....)
OH MY GOD I RECOGNIZE THAT HAIRY ARSE ANYWHERE.......I...erm i mean....I.......I......ummm.......cut this bit out..I SAID CUT THIS BIT OUT GODDAMMIT!!!!..... ........ It's......it's One hair on bollock's boy's arse ops:
Erm anyway dont ask how i know coz it personal but it is his arse.....ANYWAY....It look's like One hair on bollok's boy has accidently gone to the battle zone toilet and is about to use it. OH NO IT LOOK'S LIKE ALL THE FIGHTER'S ARE IN DEEP SHIT NOW!!!!.
(Back at the battle zone)
(The horrified fighter's look in shock and fear as they hear a rumbling sound come's from One hair on bollock's boy's arse. Then the most disturbing thing happen's.....A blast of wet and runny shit come's blasting out of one hair on bollock's boy's arse and shoot's down upon the fighter's.
.....................................TO BE CONTINUED..........................................
IS THIS THE END FOR ALL THE FIGHTER'S?
HAVE THEY COME TO A STICKY END?
OR WILL THEY MANAGE TO ESCAPE THIS HORRIFYING FATE?
Come back next time too................................SUPER BATTLE'S!!!!!!!!
The Bucket is Opened<<<<< Off shadowgate on the nes.
(The wet and runny Daireha shoot's down upon all the fighter's, Even the mighty captain planet cannot fight back against the wet shit and fall's under it's mighty power.)
Oh my god This is too horrible all the fighter's are in trouble i dont know if they can survive such a force of nature.
(Nik notice's that megatron is having trouble dodging the shit that is raining down upon them so she rushes over to him to help him out but as she get's near him the worst happens......)
(Megatron get's hit by some of the gooey shit and is pinned down. He look's up to see a blob of shit coming down at him the only thing he can do is scream.)
(As megatron was screaming the shit that was coming at him hit's him on the face and he get's a mouthful of Daireha. He acciedntly swallow's it and begin's to choke to death. The last thing that he can hear is Nik calling his name as she trie's to get near him to help then it all goes black.)
OH NO!!!! MEGATRON IS DEAD HE HAS BEEN KILLED!!!!.
This is horrible super fan's we have just witnessed the demise of megatron. He has been killed by wet shit we will have a oment of silence to honour the brave and corageous megatron. This is indeed a sad day...........but on the bright side atleast the Autobot's will stop getting him confused with their enemy megatron which mean's they will no longer attack our Headquater's.
(Back at the Battle)
(Nik is trying hard to avoide the shit but it seem's like it will go on forever. She wonder's how she can escape and she also wonder's what this guy had to eat to give him the shit's so bad.)
(MR.SQUISHY is hit by some shit and knocked down but MR.SQUISHY quickly get's back up and avoid's another piece of flying shit. Then all of a sudden the shit stop's raining down upon them leaving all the fighter's to survey the the battle ground and try and regroup.)
(The planeteer's help dig each other out of the shit while trying not to be knocked out by the overpowering smell. They also realise that captain planet is no where to be seen realise that he has been defeated and sent back into there ring's.)
(As the fighter's regroup and prepare for battle again they feel a tremor and first they assume it is going to rain shit again but then they realise it is something worse..............)
I......I......I see something moving under the shit, I dont know what it is but i see more thing's moving under the shit and they are heading toward's the fighter's.
(The fighter's see multiple thing's moving under the shit and heading toward's them. Then all of a sudden 3 of the strange thing's come out of the shit rising up out of the shit an towering above the planeteer's.)
(The strange creature's have a long white slimy body with no head and no armas and leg's. The creature's look like slimy string then all the fighter's realise what the creature's are.)
(The 3 worm's towering above the planeteer's dive down on them and devour Kwame,Gi,Wheeler And Ma-Ti leaving Linka as the last planeteer. More of the worm creature's head toward's Nik and MR SQUISHY but as the creature's attack...MR SQUISHY unleashes his raging claw and dispatches the worm's with ease.)
(MR.SQUISHY------> "MUWHAHAHAHA PUNY WORM CREATURS I AM INVINCIBLE!!!")
(Linka summon's her wind power and send's a group of worm creature's flying out of the toilet.As the battle rage's on all the worm creature's are destroyed. Then the rumbling sound begin's again and this time the fighter's that are left realise that the shit is about to come again.)
Oh no it look's like One hair on bollock's boy still has some shit left to squirt out. I dont think the fighter's that are remaining can survive another barrage of Daireha how will they escape......
(Nik suddenly get's a idea as the shit begin's to rain down again she rushes over to Linka.)
(Nik----> "Linka quick use your wind power on MR.SQUISHY and send him flying up to that ass hole")
(Linka quickly catching on summon's her wind power and send's the unsuspecting MR.SQUISHY flying up at the ass hole.)
(MR.SQUISHY------->"DAMN YOU WOMANNNNNnnnnnnnnnn......"
(MR.SQUISHY is send soaring into the air and hurtling at the anus plugging the hole up with his body.)
WOW that was a amazing plan Nik has used MR.SQUISHY'S BODY to plug the hole and now it seem's she has convinced Linka that she is her friend. But we all know that Nik is clever and that she must have a plan.
(Nik convince's Linka that she want's to be Linka's friend and make's Linka use her power to fly her out onto the edge of the toilet rim. Then Linka summon's her wind power to fly herself up and land by Nik.)
(Linka-----> "Your welcome im glad we can be be friend's")
(Nik------> "Oh about that.....erm....well i lied")
(As soon as Nik tell's Linka that there friendship was a lie she pushes Linka back into the toilet then Nik see's One Hair on Bollock's boy flushing the toilet sending Linka flushing down to her doom. Making Nik the winner for her team.)
OH MY GOD THAT WAS AMAZING!!!
Nik is the winner of this battle as she is the last one standing but dont worry folk's we will have our extraction team recover MR.SQUISHY from One hair on bollocks boy's ass. Because folk's we know he is still there coz one hair did not wipe his ass the dirty bastard. Anyway Im johnny No nut's and you all have met One hair on bollock's boy and i would like to wish you a goodbye and see you next time on..................................................................SUPER BATTLE'S.
The Bucket is Opened<<<<< Off shadowgate on the nes.