Thread: Isn't smoking AWESOME!!?!

  • avatar
    • 13 years 2 months ago
    • Posts: 2805
    I used to smoke cigarettes, but I'm on to Winchester cigars now.
  • avatar
    • 13 years 1 month ago
    • Posts: 9763
    Quote by sikkbones
    how cool does lung cancer look?

    that almost looks like a fucked up steak
  • avatar
    • 13 years 1 month ago
    • Posts: 6044
    Man, this topic, and "Should Violent Video Games be banned?" really need to die.
    I must enter a signature.
  • avatar
    • 13 years 1 month ago
    • Posts: 1458
    Quote by auntiecoagulant
    Menthols are so refreshing it's like freebasing a mint!

    shhhhhh
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    • 13 years 1 month ago
    • Posts: 74775
    Quote by Horny_Toad
    Smoking cigarettes is awesome.

    A good cup of coffee and some Marlboro - heaven!!

    Yes indeed. Smoking is the dogs' cock.

    Don't try and bore me with facts and figures and cancer blah blah blah - I don't care and won't listen.

    CIGARETTES RULE!!!


    I don't and I never will!
    • 13 years 1 month ago
    • Posts: 74775
    Quote by Xe-A-Thoul
    Man, this topic, and "Should Violent Video Games be banned?" really need to die.


    No; just this one.
  • avatar
    • 13 years 1 month ago
    • Posts: 1458
    Quote by sonic64
    Quote by Xe-A-Thoul
    Man, this topic, and "Should Violent Video Games be banned?" really need to die.


    No; just this one.
    No neither, they both are active important topics with valid points. Why lock them just because you disagree with what someone is posting?
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  • avatar
    • 13 years 1 month ago
    • Posts: 1617
    Because it's cool. duh!
    BLUE
  • avatar
    • 13 years 1 month ago
    • Posts: 9763
    you guys are doing it wrong

    Go report the post(s) instead
    • 13 years 1 month ago
    • Posts: 74775
    Quote by misspiggy
    Quote by sonic64
    Quote by Xe-A-Thoul
    Man, this topic, and "Should Violent Video Games be banned?" really need to die.


    No; just this one.
    No neither, they both are active important topics with valid points. Why lock them just because you disagree with what someone is posting?


    Because video-game violence is cool and smoking is not.
    • 13 years 1 month ago
    • Posts: 2467
    MAN....

    Smoking is just AWESOME.
    • 13 years 1 month ago
    • Posts: 2606
    Smoking is the shit. I will never, ever stop smoking. Fuck "anti smoking" campaigns. They don't run my life. Hail Marlboro!
  • avatar
    • 13 years 1 month ago
    • Posts: 1263
    There's a guy- I don't know if you've heard about this guy, he's been on the news a lot lately. There's a guy- he's English, I don't think we should hold that against him, but apparently this is just his life's dream because he is going from country to country. He has a senate hearing in this country coming up in a couple of weeks. And this is what he wants to do. He wants to make the warnings on the packs bigger. Yeah! He wants the whole front of the pack to be the warning. Like the problem is we just haven't noticed yet. Right? Like he's going to get his way and all of the sudden smokers around the world are going to be going, "Yeah, Bill, I've got some cigarettes.. HOLY SHIT! These things are bad for you! Shit, I thought they were good for you! I thought they had Vitamin C in them and stuff!" You fucking dolt! Doesn't matter how big the warnings are. You could have cigarettes that were called the warnings. You could have cigarrets that come in a black pack, with a skull and a cross bone on the front, called tumors and smokers would be lined up around the block going, "I can't wait to get my hands on these fucking things! I bet you get a tumor as soon as you light up! Numm Numm Numm Numm Numm" Doesn't matter how big the warnings are or how much they cost. Keep raising the prices, we'll break into your houses to get the fucking cigarettes, ok!? They're a drug, we're addicted, ok!? Numm Numm Numm Numm Numm *wheeze*


    I love to smoke. I smoke seven thousand packs a day, ok. And I am never fucking quitting! I don't care how many laws they make. What's the law now? You can only smoke in your apartment, under a blanket, with all the lights out? Is that the rule now, huh?! The cops are outside, "We know you have the cigarettes. Come out of the house with the cigarettes above your head." "You'll never get me copper! I'm never coming out, you hear? I got a cigarette machine right here in my bedroom. Yeah!"

    Know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna get one of those tracheotomies. So I can smoke two cigarettes at the same time. I'm gonna get nine tracheotomies all the way around my neck. I'll be Tracheotomie Man! "He can smoke a pack at a time! He's Tracheotomie Man!"

    I'm looking forward to cancer, man. I want that throat cancer. That's the best kind. You know why? You get that throat cancer, you get that voice box thing. Know what I'm talking about? ..[Talking as if has a voice box].. Sure it's scary, but you can make a lot of money with a voice box. Get a voice box, walking around the streets of Manhattan, "[VB] You got any spare change?" "Ahhh!! Here's my whole wallet, get away from me! Ahh!"

    Imagine a whole family with voice boxes. That'd be creepy, wouldn't it? They'd be out in that backyard everyday during the summer. "[VB] Dad, can we go to the beach?" "[VB] Yes, get your mother and the dog. We'll leave right now. Sparky, come here." "[VB] Arf Arf Arf Arf Arf Arf Arf" Ahhhh!!

    Or the ultimate irony. A guy with a voice box pulling up to the drive through window at McDonald's. That has to suck, huh? "Can I help you?" "[VB] Big Mac and a large order of fries." "Stop making fun of me." "[VB] I'm not making fun of you." "I'm getting the manager." "[VB] Get the fucking manager, I don't care."

    I can remember a time in this country when men were proud to get cancer, God dammit! When it was a sign of manhood! John Wayne had cancer twice. Second time, they took out one of his lungs. He said, "Take 'em both! Cuz I don't fuckin' need 'em! I'll grow gills and breathe like a fish!"

    Babe Ruth, greatest baseball player to ever play the game. He had a voic box. He was the first American to have a voice box. Yeah! "[VB] This is Babe Ruth, the Sultan of Swat, the Bambino, I smoke twenty-five God damn cuban cigars a day. I had meat for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. I fucked eighteen prostitutes a night! 'course, I'm dead now. I'm up here in heaven. Lou Gehrig is up here with me. God love Lou Gehrig. Jesus Christ, poor Lou Gehrig. Died of Lou Gehrig's disease. How the hell did he not see that coming? You know. We used to tell him, Lou, there's a disease with your name all over it, pal! There ain't no Babe Ruth disease, I'll tell you that much right now. Have a hot dog and a Hummer. Go ahead, it's on me."

    I don't know. Personally, I think Billy Martin said it best when he said, "Hey! I can drive!" Because we tried to be nice to you non-smokers. We fucking tried. Okay? You wanted your own sections in the restaurants. We gave you that, huh. But that wasn't enough for you. Then you wanted the airplanes. We gave you the whole God damn plane! You happy now? You own the fucking plane! I'd like an explanation about that one folks because I will guarantee you if the plane is going down, the first announcement you're gonna hear is, "Folks, this is your Captain speaking. Look, uhm, light 'em up, 'cause we're going down, okay. I got a carton of Camels non-filters, I'll see you on the ground. Take it easy." Actually, it'd be more like this, "[VB] This is your Captain speaking. Smoke 'em if ya got 'em. Rrrr Rrrr"

    The filters the best part. That's where they put the heroine. Only us real good smokers know that fucking secret. Yeah, we tried to be nice to you non-smokers. We tried. But you just fucking badger us, you know? You won't leave us alone! You got all your little speeches you're always giving to us. All these little facts that you dig out of a newspaper or pamphlet and you store that little nugget in your little fucking head, and we light up and you spew 'em out at us, don't ya? I love these little facts. "Well you know. Smoking takes ten years off your life." Well it's the ten worst years, isn't it folks? It's the ones at the end! It's the wheelchair kidney dialysis fucking years. You can have those years! We don't want 'em, alright!? And I guarantee if I'm still alive, I'll be smoking then. I'll be in my wheelchair, with my adult diapers on and my twenty-five year old non- smoking born again christian son behind me. I'll be going, "Hey! Make sure you wipe this time. I was itching all week for Christ's sake! And get me some more wippets. I'm almost out, you fucking pussy! Come on!"

    Because you're always telling us, "You know, ever cigarette takes six minutes off your life. If you quit now you can live an extra ten years. If you quit now, you can live an extra twenty years." Hey, I got two words for you, ok. Jim Fix. Remember Jim Fix? The big famous jogging guy? Jogged fifteen miles a day. Did a jogging book. Did a jogging video. Dropped out of a heart attack when? When he was fucking jogging, that's when! What do you wanna bet it was two smokers who found the body the next morning and went, "Hey! That's Jim Fix, isn't it?" "Wow, what a fucking tragedy. Come on, lets go buy some buds."

    It's always the yogurt sprout eating mother fuckers who get run over buy a bus drive by a guy who smokes three and a half packs a day. "Sorry officer, I didn't see him. I was too busy smoking!"
    • 13 years 1 month ago
    • Posts: 2467
    tl ;dr
  • avatar
    • 13 years 1 month ago
    • Posts: 1458
    smoking rocks hardcore
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    • 13 years 1 month ago
    • Posts: 74775
    Smoking is gross. The purpose of smoking is simply incomprehensible to me.
  • avatar
    • 13 years 1 month ago
    • Posts: 2347
    Yeah, sure smoking does kill, but so does Mcdonalds & other fast food places. Why the fuck shouldn't they have warnings?
    Narrator: Man lives in the sunlit world of what he believes to be reality. But... there is, unseen by most, an underworld, a place that is just as real, but not as brightly lit... a Darkside [img]http://www.danasoft.com/sig/mcluvin.jpg[/img]
  • avatar
    • 13 years 1 month ago
    • Posts: 1458
    Quote by Iloveth80sfan911
    Yeah, sure smoking does kill, but so does Mcdonalds & other fast food places. Why the fuck shouldn't they have warnings?

    They should put warnings on everything, the more warnings on crap the less people will even bother to read them.

    I think we should insist that huge factories (that put crap into the air) print it on their smoke stacks as well.

    I am gonna also insist that my "mother in law" wear a sign that says she induces axioty attacks in normal adults and may cause undue stress on family memebers. (that could cause a heart attack ya know!)
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  • avatar
    • 13 years 1 month ago
    • Posts: 1263
    There's a guy- I don't know if you've heard about this guy, he's been on the news a lot lately. There's a guy- he's English, I don't think we should hold that against him, but apparently this is just his life's dream because he is going from country to country. He has a senate hearing in this country coming up in a couple of weeks. And this is what he wants to do. He wants to make the warnings on the packs bigger. Yeah! He wants the whole front of the pack to be the warning. Like the problem is we just haven't noticed yet. Right? Like he's going to get his way and all of the sudden smokers around the world are going to be going, "Yeah, Bill, I've got some cigarettes.. HOLY SHIT! These things are bad for you! Shit, I thought they were good for you! I thought they had Vitamin C in them and stuff!" You fucking dolt! Doesn't matter how big the warnings are. You could have cigarettes that were called the warnings. You could have cigarrets that come in a black pack, with a skull and a cross bone on the front, called tumors and smokers would be lined up around the block going, "I can't wait to get my hands on these fucking things! I bet you get a tumor as soon as you light up! Numm Numm Numm Numm Numm" Doesn't matter how big the warnings are or how much they cost. Keep raising the prices, we'll break into your houses to get the fucking cigarettes, ok!? They're a drug, we're addicted, ok!? Numm Numm Numm Numm Numm *wheeze*
  • avatar
    • 13 years 1 month ago
    • Posts: 1458
    Quote by sikkbones
    There's a guy- I don't know if you've heard about this guy, he's been on the news a lot lately. There's a guy- he's English, I don't think we should hold that against him, but apparently this is just his life's dream because he is going from country to country. He has a senate hearing in this country coming up in a couple of weeks. And this is what he wants to do. He wants to make the warnings on the packs bigger. Yeah! He wants the whole front of the pack to be the warning. Like the problem is we just haven't noticed yet. Right? Like he's going to get his way and all of the sudden smokers around the world are going to be going, "Yeah, Bill, I've got some cigarettes.. HOLY SHIT! These things are bad for you! Shit, I thought they were good for you! I thought they had Vitamin C in them and stuff!" You fucking dolt! Doesn't matter how big the warnings are. You could have cigarettes that were called the warnings. You could have cigarrets that come in a black pack, with a skull and a cross bone on the front, called tumors and smokers would be lined up around the block going, "I can't wait to get my hands on these fucking things! I bet you get a tumor as soon as you light up! Numm Numm Numm Numm Numm" Doesn't matter how big the warnings are or how much they cost. Keep raising the prices, we'll break into your houses to get the fucking cigarettes, ok!? They're a drug, we're addicted, ok!? Numm Numm Numm Numm Numm *wheeze*
    So what's your point?
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