Teenage girl Buck is temporarily trying to look after: "I told you I'd be back at 10 o'clock. It's not even Nine!
UB: "Who said we need to go anywhere? I just thought we could go out for some ice cream. And maybe your Bug here cam come with us, we could talk about burying the hatchet. You do know what a hatchet is don't you Bug?"
Bug: "It's like an axe?"
UB: "Sort of, yeah. I got one in the back of the car if you want to see it?"
Bug: "No thanks."
UB: "Fair enough, I'm just glad to have it around, you never know when you might need it. Say a friend or someone you know has been... drinking... and is about to drive another person home... Then I like to know I have it."
*Bug starts sweating and fidgeting and the corny "OOOoooWEEEEOOOooo" sound effect starts going in the background.*
UB: "Not to Kill though! Oh, nothing like that! Just to mame. Take a little off the shoulder *makes chopping motion* wwwiksh, some off the elbow, shave a little meat off the ol' knee cap *makes another chopping motion* shhhwik! oOoooooh..."
*Starts laughing maniacally*
UB: "I like to keep mine razor sharp too, sharp enough so that you can shave with 'em. Why I've been known to circumsize a gnat!"
*looks serious all of a sudden*
UB: "Wait a minute gnat... Bug... is there a similarity there?..."
*Bug vigorously shakes his head*
UB: "Oooooooh, I think there is!"
*Bug still shaking his head*
UB: "Do you know what I'm talking about?... I don't think you do. Wait here I'll be right back..."
*walks back to his car laughing*
The teenage girl: "Don't listen to him he's full of it, and he's gone in a few days anyway so-"
Bug: " *frantic now* Look maybe you should go! I don't need any trouble!"
Teenage girl: "I just told you he's-"
UB: "Here it is! *waving his hatchet a few times in the moon light* You wanna come see?... Maybe later? OK!"
*Gets in his car after succeding in scaring the living hell out of Bug and slowly drives away.*
That is one of the best movies ever!! John Candy is the MAN!
My favorite part is when Buck goes to the party to find his neice. He is walking through the house full of kids trying to be cool and all of the kids are just staring at him dumb founded. Then he takes a drill and drills out the doorknob so he can open a door to a room he thinks his niece is in with Bug (which she isn't), but the look on Bug's face is priceless.
Uncle Buck is a great movie, but John Candy's best movie was Plains, Trains, and Automobiles.
"Where's your other hand?" "Between two pillows!" "Those aren't PILLOWS!!!!!"