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Quote O' Matic
Rabbi Goldberg:"Harold, I'm disturbed about two things. First of all, you stole. Stealing is against the law; 'Thou Shalt Not Steal'."
Harold:"But I was hungry, Rabbi Goldberg!"
Rabbi:"And secondly; and most important, you stole a ham. Ham is not Kosher. Not Kosher at all. We don't eat ham. We haven't for 5,000 years and we don't need to start now. [crosses his arms]"
Harold:"I know! And I'm sorry-yyyy!"
Rabbi:"Yes. I know you're sorry because you did something that got you into trouble. But I don't think you understand why. When I was a young man about your age, I had a friend who admired a vest hanging in a tailor shop. It was a beautiful vest: Red velvet with gold buttons. He coveted that vest, Harold, but didn't have the money to buy it! You know what happened? My friend stole the vest! And he was punished! He had to work at the tailor shop, learning how to cut and sew and stitch so he would see ju"