Classic Gaming Experiences

Fondest of fond memories
On
January 10, 2007
There's a point when crap is too bad to find taste for. However, there's a point when something can't be better, like heaven. So these 10 experiences I had with Video games are in no particular order.
(This article is written in humor tone. If you really want a in depth analysis, look at Wikipedia). As if we needed another Top 10 Video Game List.

10: Duck Hunt



If I ever get a attempted robbery on me, and I shoot someone with a Magnum from 10 feet away, a la Charles Bronsan, I have this game to take credit for. Really, this game should be used for military training. Have a version though where you can shoot that laughing ass dog. He made me break my gun a few times.

9: Mario Kart 64



Many controllers smashed over this one. Much strategy evolved. Cheap shots, cutting the other karts off. The controls have nothing to do with real driving, but there as good if better than some of the other games. I'm talking about games where if you lightly touch the stick it goes way in the other lane. Talk about sensitivity.

8: Contra


Sure, maybe in your history class they talk about the Iran-Contra scandal, but if you really want to be a real Contra, then the future is where your heading. You can admit it was hard in areas. You can admit, at least the temptation of using Game Genie was there. Hey, it's war though. Being in the jungles, of the waterfall stage, I remember getting killed countless times. And I'm not even talking about getting to the boss.

7: Space Invaders



No introduction needed. Seen in parodies like on Futurama, this one's a classic. When the fate of the world (Or a few structures) is in your hand. You get to fight horizontally patterned aliens. The last one buzzing around at 200 MPH always got me. Maybe if we would have approved Reagan's Star Wars program, it would have made the game a bit easier with Satellites in the sky.

6: Super Mario Bros 3



Ok, 1 and 2 are excellent games, classics. It is definably the best of the best. However, even the 3rd is greater in almost every way, which is a rare find in a 3rd of a series. Who would have thought the concept of Italian plumbers going down pipes in an alternate world. There are also weird creatures in the shape of mushrooms, turtles, and I don't know what the hell a Goomba is. Miyamoto may of been on drugs, but
if he was, I want some of them.
5: Punch-Out



The one with Mike Tyson, damn wasn't he hard? For the first minute or two, one punch would knock you out. Sometimes, I'd imagine fighting the real Mike Tyson would be easier. Who doesn't love a game with ethnic stereotypes? You won't find a game like this anymore with Political Correctness. And that referee dude, he was Mario! Never saw him in the sequel. Little Mac was the man, made you feel like Rocky Balboa.

4: Final Fantasy VII



Blasphemy? That I post a game that came out in 1997 on Retrojunk.com? Well, it's been 10 years. And it's still better than a boat load of the games out today. C’mon, it’s two guys with big swords and egos. Check out the long hair. Man, if they were wearing Spandex, I'd swear they would have been members of an 80's hair band. Since when did have the classic match up like Cloud and Sephiroth? It’s probably the greatest fight in any video game. Sephiroth deserved it to. Admit it; you shed a tear for Aeris.

3: Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time



Don't worry, I haven't forgotten the original. That's coming up. Many times games don't live up to there predecessors. Sure, the 64 has better graphics, but this game does not substitute the story. Both are mixed extremely well, which is rare. If all the lame mediocre and shitty games were this good, we'd be in heaven. Shooting arrows from a horse! Racing some dude, who you can't beat! Various side missions! And Ganondorf, you can't have a real Zelda game without him. (Ok, you can, but he makes the game. What a creepy ass.) The one hard boss for me was in the Water Temple. Once you actually was able to find it, you had to basically fight it in its element. If that thing really was released in Hyrule, it would have beaten Ganon himself.

2: Legend of Zelda 1 and 2



Ok I included them both. These were the first 2 Zelda's I played. Even by today standards, the world is a huge place to explore. Octoroks shooting at you while your going place to place. Ugly little things weren't they? Losing yourself in those dungeons, and I don't mean meditating! Some of those dungeons were tricky to get through, no less the world. I remember trying to get to a dungeon but not being able to. Wasting a few hours before I realized I needed a Raft! Oh yeah you remember. Very good graphics for the day, I mean it was 1986.The same year Atari 7800 was released. (And nobody bought)

1: Donkey Kong



You almost thought I was going to leave this out didn't you? Many have played this with a emulator, but I know a few of you were lucky enough to play it in the arcade. The original model, which was made by employees smoking weed assembling it. Despite that, it was Miyamoto's first masterpiece. There have been countless sequels and remakes, but none are as influential as this. Countless times you've been hit by barrels and died. To tell you the truth, I don't think I ever beat the game fully.
However, it was always worth it to save the Princess. It wasn't toadstool though, and Mario was called "Jump-Man?" Discredit this game if you want, but if it hadn't been for this, chances are you wouldn't be playing that Bowling game on the Wii.
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