Greetings everyone! It is I, somedude V3 back with a new issue of "My Favorite Villains"! I'll save you the story of where I've been. Let's just say I took an extended departure. But now I've returned, and I'm ready to get back on track. It'll take me a while to come out with more right now, cause I need to decide what I'm gonna write about next. So if you just bear with me, then everything will be A-OK!

Alright, enough of that. Time to get to business. This issue of "My Favorite Villains", is revolved around the dark sorcerer known as Lo Pan, from Big Trouble In Little China!




Released: 1986
Directed by: John Carpenter
Starring: Kurt Russell, Dennis Dun, Kim Cattrall, James Hong and Victor Wong.

David Lo Pan


Base of Operations: San Francisco, Chinatown.

Who is he? A 2000 year old cursed sorcerer who needs a girl with green eyes to break it. He gets one when one of his gangs kidnap Miao Yin, the fiance of Wang Chi, who in turn is the best friend of trucker, Jack Burton. Their first attempt to save her fails and they regroup by enlisting the help of a good wizard known as Egg Shen. With him, and a reporter, named Gracie Law, they once again try to save Miao Yin. They are unsuccessful again, but this time, Gracie Law, who Jack has developed feelings for, has been captured. Even worse, she has green eyes as well. So Lo Pan decides to marry Miao and sacrifice Gracie. In a final attempt, they sucessfully infiltrate Lo Pan's domain, kill him, save the girls and the universe.


James Hong

Position: 2000 year old sorcerer, owner of the Wing Kong trading company and Chairman of the National Orient Bank.

Loves: Girls with green eyes, corrupt sorcery, beating Egg Shen at mystical games and sending people off to the Hell of Boiling Oil, among others. The Chinese have a lotta Hells.

Hates: Everything else, especially the curse, Jack Burton, Egg Shen and pitiful excuses.

Age: Over 2000 years.

Hair: As black as his soul.

AKA: The ultimate evil spirit, the Godfather of Little China.

Affiliates: The Lords of Death street gang, the Wing Kongs, The Three Storms and Chewbacca's ugly ass cousin.




Danger Level: High

Personal Bio: You think not having a girl for a few months is torture? Then you must not know about Lo Pan. He's had to wait over 2000 years! And just any girl won't do, he needs a girl with green eyes. Why? Well in 272 B.C., Lo Pan was on the verge of taking over the universe, when the first sovereign emperor of China, Trunje Wong Alijima, defeated him and placed upon him the curse of low flesh. What does the curse do? Most of the time, he's encased in an old man's body, with none of his powers and completely helpless. Then, in some instances, he changes back into his true form, but when he's in it, he's like a spirit: he can go through anything, but can physically do nothing. In order to become whole, he must marry a girl with green eyes to appease Ching Dai, the God of the East, but to appease the Emperor that cursed him, she must be sacrificed. Now, where to find one..

My Thoughts: Awesome. I'm a fan of anything mystical and a movie about an evil chinese wizard wanting to take over the universe? Hell, sign me up! I loved his look and his calm voice. Knowing that the evil wizard was James Hong also helped out.

Now, you know the main Villain, but I think you should know about his three main helpers. They're mystical, they're powerful, and they're completely badass. They're...

The Three Storms


Peter Kwong, Carter Wong and James Pax.


Posistion: The three top warriors for Lo Pan.

Loves: Lo Pan, evil and cutting people to shreads.

Hates: Surprise, everything!

Age: God knows.

Hair: Just as dark as Lo Pans, except I must say, Rain has great looking hair.

Personal Bio: Not much is known about The Three Storms. Their age and origin is unknown. All we know is that they follow Lo Pan, and they like to kick a lot of ass.




Thunder is the leader of the Three Storms and the most powerful. He has super strength and can inflate himself to become stronger. Lastly, you can tell when he's coming, because whenever he lands, thunder roars across the sky.




Rain is the second in command and probably the calmest of the three. As you can see, he has amazing hair and he's highly skilled with a sword. He also loves to fly around and, also like Thunder, when he comes, rain falls from the sky.




Lightning is the third Storm, and to me, the craziest of the three. He can fight with his bare hands, or with a weapon, but he loves to use actual lightning bolts to take down his enemies. There has been speculation throught the years, and many people believe that Raiden from MK, came from this charater. Look at the similarities.








Coincidence? I think not.

My Thoughts: My favorite guys in the entire movie. Why? the second they entered the movie, you knew these guys demanded respect and were to be feared. I mean these three guys take down an entire group of warriors during their entrance! How could they be any more awesome? Sadly, they all get killed. Crap.


Final Words: Believe it or not, I actually didn't like this movie when I was younger. Probably because of my short attention span. But as I got older, and saw it a few more times, I became a fan of it. Did it fail at the box office? Yes. Did the critics hate it? Yes. Do I care about any of that? No. Yes it is cheesy, but it's become a major cult classic, and I'm sure tons of people would agree with me that this movie is awesome.


Well, that's about it for this issue ladies and gentlemen. I hope you enjoyed it. 'Till next time!

-somedude V3