Doofenshmirtz:"I hope you're ready for the big show, Perry the Platypus! [plugs the blue plug with the green wire] because Evil Incorporated is on the air! [his Preempt-inator activates]"
Baseballcaster:"[a man is watching one of the main season games on TV] …down as 2 and 2. Here's the pitch. [goes into static]"
Doofenshmirtz (v/o):"We preempt your normal programming with the first annual Telethon of Evil! And now live; because it's evil spelled backwards; your host - Heinz Doofenshmirtz!"
Doofenshmirtz:"♪I want your money
I'm strapped for cash
I need your money
Too lazy to get a job
Give me your money
I'm not being funny
Give me your money today!♪"
Dad:"[He, from the playtipus' host family, is also watching it at his dental appointment] This is a brilliant work of satire; It's my new favorite show."