MacGruber:"[begging for Piper to join team] Don't make me beg here, because I will do it. I am so sorry, I am so goddamn sorry! Look I'm freaking out here! I killed them! I killed them all! I'm so fucking stupid! I don't know what I'm doing and everybody hates me! [long silence] I will suck your dick, I will suck your fucking dick, just join my team. I'll suck your dick, you can fuck me, you can get fucked by me. You can watch me fuck something? Just point at something in the room and I'll fuck it for you!"
Lt. Dixon Piper:"Jesus Christ, MacGruber!"
MacGruber:"Just tell me what you want me to fuck!"