|
Do it Rock-a-pella!
-Audience The warrant!
-Rockapella Here's a list of places Carmen may have traveled: Quito, Ecuador... Lima, Peru... Bogota, Columbia... Santiago, Chile... Caracas, Venezuela... La Paz, Bolivia... Buenos Aires, Argentina... Georgetown, Guyana... Brasilila, Brazil... Asuncion, Paraguay..
-The Chief Oooooh, the chaaase!
-Rockapella Greg, let's go to the map!
-Chief Go get 'em, Gumshoes!
-Chief Chief: "All these people want to know..."
Rockapella: "Where in the world is Carmen Sandiego?"
-the Chief and Rockapella Greg: "You can risk 0, 10, 20, 30, 40, or 50 Acme crimebucks, so take a look at the map, and think about it." Greg: "Remember the clues that we heard." The Contessa: Honor among theives? Surely you jest! If I'm going to prison, I'm taking Carmen with me. Look for her in Europe.
Sarah Nade: Aw, man! This prison is heinous! The guard keeps playing Michael Bolton tapes. Get Carmen in here. She'll make him stop. She scooted to Europe. Vic the Slick: If I gotta make one more license plate, I'm gonna melt my polyester! Go get Carmen to help me! She's in South America. Patty Larceny: This jail is so neat. All the colors match! Gray, gray and gray. I want Carmen to enjoy it, too. Look for her in Africa. Double Trouble: We'll party a lot harder in the slammer if we know Carmen's on her way. Look for her in Europe. Robocrook: Robocrook in jail? Carmen's still free? Illogical. Does not compute. Look for Carmen in Europe. Top Grunge: Hey! I've got some good dirt for ya. Then again, all dirt is good. Anyway, Carmen Sandiego is in the USA. (he coughs and sneezes) Top Grunge: It's a dirty trick me bein' in da joint and Carmen on the loose. (coughs) Look for her in the United States. (sneezes) Robocrook: The probabilities of your capture of Carmen will be accelerated if I supply you with pertinent information. Look for her in the United States. RoboCrook: A virus has infected my system's software. It causes me to devulge Carmen's location. You'll find her in North America. Please! Don't say that I sent you. Kneemoi: Gee, another amazing Earth concept. Jail! I must show this to Carmen. Look for her in Africa. Kneemoi: Prison sports are really fun! I get used as a frisbee, a dartboard, and a second base! Carmen should see me play, but she's in South America. Go find her! Double Trouble: We're doin' the Jailhouse Rock, but it just isn't a party without Carmen Sandiego. You'll find her in Asia. The Contessa: Madre Mia, Carmen, you're a gem!
Carmen Sandiego: And you're a brick. Now get moving. Carmen Sandiego: Ready for another party, boys?
Double Trouble: Geez, we’re always ready, Carmen.
Carmen Sandiego: Good. I want you to head down the peninsula from Tijuana to Ensenada.
Double Trouble: Well, what’s the occasion?
Carmen Sandiego: The start of a famous international off-road race. Hundreds of drivers race all kinds of vehicles across the desert.
Double Trouble: We’re rollin’!
Carmen: You drove the stolen Bugatti?
The Contessa: Of course not!
Carmen: Good.
The Contessa: I let Dustin drive it! He just loves classics.
Carmen: Why me?!
Wonder Rat: If there's one thing a rat can do, it's rat! If you wanna find Carmen Sandiego, sniff around Europe. Patty Larceny: "I know I shouldn't be telling you this, but it isn't fair that I'm in jail and Carmen's not. Look for her in Asia." Eartha Brute: Uh-oh. If Carmen finds out I'm in jail again, I'll get fired for sure. Do me a favor and don't mention that you caught me when you're chasing her through South America. Top Grunge: This jail cell is awful! No matter where I stand, I'm never more than 12 feet away from the soap. (sneezes) And it's all Carmen's fault! Go get her in Asia. (sneezes) Double Trouble: We were partners in crime. We should be cellmates in jail, but the warden wants to split up this dream team. Carmen's layin' low in North America. Tell 'er she's gotta help! Vic the Slick: I'm gonna need some company in the slammer, so here's the scoop on Carmen. Look for her in Europe. Wonder Rat: Nobody here in jail appreciates my classic good looks. Get Carmen in here. She loves me! You'll find her in Africa. Vic the Slick: Carmen's committin' crimes while I'm penned up in prison playing poker for peanuts! You can find Carmen in the USA. Eartha Brute: Gee, I'm mad at Carmen! She's out there, running around, having fun, while I'm stuck in jail! You'll find her in Africa. Double Trouble: That Carmen's a party-pooper! We've been in jail for 17 seconds already, and she hasn't even visited yet! Look for her in South America. Patty Larceny: I used to be a sweet innocent schoolgirl. Now I'm a sweet guilty schoolgirl and it's all Carmen's fault! Look for her in Asia. Robocrook: Robocrook Unit-059 calling. According to my default program, put in prison for more than 11 seconds, I automatically rat on my owner. Look for Carmen in Africa. The Chief (from monitor, on phone): Greg, please come into my office!
Greg: OK, Chief. I'll- I'll be right there. (phone starts ringing) The Chief's on the phone- I mean, I'll be right- I'll be back.
Greg (now in Chief's office, phone is still ringing): Yeah, Chief. Chief! Well, the Chief isn't here, but I better answer this phone. (clears throat and picks it up) ACME Crimenet!
The Chief: (on phone) This is your Chief.
Greg: Oh, hi, Chief! Where are ya now?
The Chief: I am unavailable, due to classified business. I have left these taped voice-mail instructions. Please dial 1 to continue.
Greg: Voice-mail! I love voice-mail. All right. (he dials 1, then looks at the Chief's papers)
The Chief: Please do not touch my papers- listen up!
Greg: (puts down the papers) Yeah.
The Chief: 1st question: How close are you to catching Carmen Sandiego? Dial 1 for: We got her, 2 for: We're extremely close, or 3 for: As usual, she's evaded us 3 times, and we look like dopes.
Greg: Oh, I guess that would be 3. (he dials 3)
The Chief: Well, I'm not surprised. 2nd question: How should we encourage the Gumshoes to work harder? Dial 1 for: Threaten to fire them, 2 for: Poke them with sticks, or 3 for: Offer the one who catches her a free trip anywhere in North America. (applause)
Greg: Hmm... ah! That's a tough choice. I'm gonna go with 3. (he dials 3 again)
The Chief: Thank you. Inform the Gumshoes. 3rd question: How should I terminate our discussion? Dial 1 for: Tell you you're a great guy, 2 for: Offer you a raise and a big office, or 3 for: Set you up with my gorgeous cousin, Gladys.
Greg: Ooh! Uh, I'm gonna go, uh, 3-a-mundo! (he dials 3 again)
The Chief: I thought you'd choose that one. Greg, go away!
(disappointed, Greg hangs up)
Greg: You know, I don't need her. I'll dial Information. I'll get Gladys' number myself. That's no problem. (he dials Information and picks up the receiver)
Voice: (on phone, like the Chief's, only more nasally and higher) Hello, Information.
Greg: Uh, yeah- I'm calling for Gladys.
Voice: Gladys who?
Greg: The Chief's gorgeous cousin.
Voice: Who's calling?
Greg: This is Greg.
Voice: Greg?
Greg: Yeah?
Voice: Go away. (the phone clicks, and Greg hangs up) The Contessa: This prison food is so dreadfully boring! I can't even get a jar of Grey Poupon! Maybe Carmen could help, but she's in Europe. Go find her! Eartha Brute: This is Eartha Brute calling. All I do here in jail is split rocks. I've never been so happy in all my life. Bring Carmen over to share in the fun. You'll find her in Asia. Top Grunge: I'm gettin' lonely here in jail. (snorts) Me without Carmen is like a dog without a flea. (coughs) You'll find her in Africa. (sneezes) Robocrook: It really burns my fuses that Carmen is still free. To find her, scan Asia. Vic the Slick: Darn that Carmen! I've gone from salesman of the century to starching socks in the prison laundry! I'm climbing down the ladder of success! Look for Carmen in Africa. The Contessa: Prison Life is so uncivilized! 600 cells and not a room service menu in sight! Tell Carmen this is more than I can bear! She went to North America. Eartha Brute: Ugh! This prison gym is terrible. I can only bench press 1,000 pounds. Make Carmen bring me more weights. You'll find her in Africa. Wonder Rat: "If there's one thing a rat can do, it's rat! If you wanna find Carmen Sandiego, sniff around Asia." Kneemoi: Oh, another planet, another prison cell. Maybe I could spend my sentence getting to know Carmen better. Look for her in Europe. Sarah Nade: Aw, man! This prison is heinous! The guards keep playin' music by Kenny G. Get Carmen in here before I freak out! She scooted to North America. Kneemoi: 92 planets, 92 jail cells. My frequent prisoner miles are really adding up! I'll give Carmen a free trip to Roddenberry! Go find her in Africa. Top Grunge: Prison life is so disgusting. I can't believe I have to live in a place this clean! (coughs) Carmen's hiding in South America. Go tell her to spring me. (sneezes) Patty Larceny: I just got back from the prison laundry. And they mix colors and whites in the same wash! (cries) I can't stand it anymore! Go find Carmen in Africa. Tell her to help me. Vic the Slick: These prison clothes offend my unique sense of fashion. Isn't my right to wear plaid in the Constitution? Carmen is in Africa. Tell 'er to get me a lawyer. The Contessa: "Honor among thieves? Surely you gest.... If I'm going down I'm taking Carmen with me. Look for her in Asia."
|
