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Now kindly cluck off, before I extract your gibblets, and shove a large seasoned onion between the lips you never kiss with.
-Rimmer I've been so worried I haven't buffed my shoes in my two days.
-Cat Cat: "Forget red - let's go all the way up to brown alert!"
Kryten: "There's no such thing as a brown alert sir."
Cat: "You won't be saying that in a minute!"
-Cat Kryten, kindly get to the point before I jam your nose between your cheeks and make it the filling of a buttock sandwich.
-Rimmer So this is really me? A no-style gimbo with teeth druids could use as a place of worship?
-Cat / Duane Dibley No look, I'm you from the future. I've come to warn you that in 3 million years you'll be dead!
-Rimmer My brain's rebelled. It just won't accept nice things happening to me.
-Rimmer Rimmer: "I've seen Westerns, I know how to speak cowboy."
Steps up to the bar.
Rimmer: "Dry white wine and Perrier, please ."
-Rimmer Do you realize that with all this rescue stuff, I haven't had time to perm my leg hairs!
-Cat Rimmer: "I used to be in the Samaritans."
Lister: "I know. For one morning."
Rimmer: "I couldn't take any more."
Lister: "I don't blame you. You spoke to five people and they all committed suicide. I wouldn't mind, but one was a wrong number!
-Rimmer/Lister When the going gets tough, the tough go have a little cry in the corner.
-Rimmer So let me get this straight. You want to fly on a magic carpet to see the King of the Potato People and plead with him for your freedom, and you're telling me you're completely sane?
-Rimmer Yes, sir I am a robot
-Kryten Im going out the same way I came in, screaming and kicking
-lister Smeg off dog-food-face!
-Rimmer *holding up a tampon* Go ahead try it on I want to see what it looks like!
-Kryten Rimmer- "Step up to red alert."
Kryten- "Sir, are you absolutely sure? It does mean changing the bulb.
-Rimmer/Kryten Rimmer- "What is there that one could possibly loathe about me?"
Kryten- "Would you like a list sir?
-Rimmer/Kryten Rimmer, can't you see that the story is not gripping me? I'm in a state of nongripness. I'm completely smegging ungripped. Shut the smeg up!
-Lister Kryten- "Mr Rimmer would be effectively dead."
Cat- "Hey! Things are looking up already.
-Kryten/Cat lister: as soon as I step out of that door I get enough volts up my jacksy to light up the whole of boogle
rimmer: well considering what the future has instore for your jacksy a few million volts will be nothing
-Lister And the moral of the story is , appreciate what you've got because basically I'm fantastic.
-Holly Well, I would have thought it was obvious. Two people unable to contain their desires had an illicit liason. A liason that an unforgiving society would not accept, and you were the fruit of their forbidden passion. You're forbidden passion fruit.
-Rimmer Wrong, wrong, absolutely brimming over with wrongability
-Rimmer Smoke me a kipper, I'll be back for breakfast
-Ace Rimmer
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