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South Park Quotes

Quotes

Stan: Oh My God, they killed Kenny. Kyle: You Bastards!
-Stan and Kyle
BEEFCAKE!
-Cartman
I'm not fat, i'm big-boned.
-Cartman
Cartman, you're such a fat ass, that when people walk down the street they go, 'God dammt that's a big fat ass'.
-Kyle
Kick the Baby.
-Kyle
Cartman, you're such a fat ass, that when you walk down the street they go, 'God dammt that's a big fat ass'
-Kyle
Hello there children.
-Chef
I'm not fat, I'm festivally Plump.
-Cartman
Timmy!!!

-Timmy
Sweet!
-Kyle
Screw you guys, i'm goin' home.
-Cartman
Hooody hooo!
-Mr.Hankey
AAAHHH, to much pressure!
-Tweek
Chef: Hello there, children.
Stan: Chef, what would a priest want to put up my butt?
Chef: Goodbye.
-Chef & Stan
I've learned something today...
-Stan or Kyle at the end of just about every ep
Wow, what a great audience.
-Jimmy
Stop screwing around. Ya'll screw around too much.
-Mr. Adler
Whateva, whateva, I do what I want!
-Eric Cartman
[Cops taking him away after a fight] For what? You're arresting me for what? I'm not allowed to stand up for myself? I thought this was a free country? Oh i'm sorry I thought this America. Sorry, I thought this was America.
-Randy Marsh
Screw you guys im going home

-Cartman
You wanna get high

-Towelie
I love you guys
-Good Cartman
[after being pulled over for drunk driving]

What seems to be the officer, problem?
-Randy Marsh
Okay people. There's nothing here to see. Everybody move along.
-Officer Barbrady
That does it! I am sick and tired of people making jokes about stuff that's going in or coming out of my ass.
-Eric Cartman
Towelie: don't forget to bring a towel you might get swet in your eyes. Kyle:thanks Towelie: wanna get high Kyle: No!!
-Towelie and Kyle
Stan: Oh my god! They killed Kenny" Kyle:(unenthussiastically) You bastard!
-Stan and Kyle
but you guys cant get married...YOURE FAGS!
-Mr. Garrison
respect my authoritah!
-Cartman
Aww hamburgers...
-Butters
Moooooooom?
-Cartman
kenny's family is so poor they had to put up their cardboard box for a second mortgage!
-Cartman
don't kick the baby
-Ike
shut up fatass!
-Kyle
mm'kay
-Mr.Mackey
sucky sucky five dollar!
-cartman
You Unbelievable Son of a Bitch...
-Kyle
I wanna make love!
-Chef
HHHHHHOOOOOOWWWDDDDEEEEEYYYY HOW
-Mr. Hankey
why'd you do that children?
-chef
I'm super! thanks for asking!
-big gay al
Butter it's time to go!
Alirght Mom!
-Butter's Mom/ Butter
It's coming right for us Ned!
-Uncle Jimbo
Now let's all get together and we have to stop our moms cuz were gonna save Terrance and Phillip too cuz thats what Brian Boitano do and were gonna save Terrance and Phillip too cuz thats what Brian Boitano dooooo. Cuz that's what Brian Boitano do.
-Kyle, Cartman and Stan
Alabama man.
-Some random commerical advertizer on the show
Don't boss me around you f*cking jew i'll kick your ass.
-Cartman
Damien: Everybody hates me. Mr. Mackey: What do you suppose that is. Damien: Because i'm the son of the devil.
-Damien and Mr. Mackey
I want a goddamn cheeseburger with some goddamn fries you f*cking gooback.
-Stan
O.K, by then.
-Officer Barbrady
They took our jobs
-Rednecks
Big floppy donkey dick
-scientist
Cookie monster!
-Ike
Oh dear, I shoudn't have ate the chile! *farts fire*
-Cartman
Oh, my carrot cake!
-Big Gay Al
Cartman: Mom, Kenny called kitty and dildo!!
Carman's Mom: I know a special kitty that's sleeping with mommy tonite...
-Cartman and his mom
Cart man,you fat ass!
-Kyle
SHUUUUUUUUUT UUUUUPPPPPPP,OR I'LL SHOOT THE BUNNY!!!!!!!!!
-Crazy Bus driver
I am super-duper serial.
-Al Gore
cartmansmom:eric isint fat hes just big boned kyle:then he must have a huge bon in his ass!
-cartman's mom and kyle
Can I just have some Spaghetti-Os?
-Butters
Save the whales mother f**ker.
-A.L.F. Member
Suck my a**hole you stupid taco bender!!!
-Cartman
himhmmmihmmmimm
-kenny
No Cartman, I don't want to marry you. You're too young for me!
-Liv
Kyle: I thought your mom was your dad 'cause we saw she had a penis Cartman: WHAT!!! you son of a bitch!
-Kyle and Cartman
*studio crowd kills kenny*
man 1: oh my god...i found a penny!
man 2: you bastard!
-man to another man
chef...your salty balls have brought me back to life!
-mr. hankey
I cant whistle if I eat too many crackers
-Butters
Stan theres just better things you could be doing on a Saturday than singing and dancing. You could be watching tv or laying in bed.
-Randy Marsh
Women dont want to read about romance they want to read about big powerful shlongs!
-Mr. Garrison
Evolution is a hair brained theory that says i'm a monkey, i'm not a monkey! i'm a woman!
-Ms. Garrison
How would you like to suck my balls, Mr. Garrison!
-Cartman
What the f*ck are stem cells?
-Kenny
(sings) I love cheesy poofs, you love cheesy poofs, if we didn't love cheesy poofs we'd be lame.
-Cartman
Ike made a neno
-Ike
Cartman! Duhrrrrrrr!
-Cartman
dont forget to bring a towel!
-Evil towlee
kyle: what about you messege from god? cartman: oh, i am no afraid of him, he is a pussy! hey god, you know i was just kidding!
-Cartman and Kyle
If you don't like american ways, why don't you just get out...
-Redneck
You're breaking my balls.
-Cartman
(Regarding women) I'm sorry, Wendy. I just don't trust something that bleeds for five days and doesn't die.
-Mr. Garrison
I'm Professor Chaos, and you can be General Dissary.
-Butters
My Precious..They took my precious..
-Butters
i'll tell you what's wrong! i've been waiting 500 years to play the Nintendo Wii! and if i don't get to play real soon i'm gonna bust a nut!
-Cartman
No, I wasn't in Vietnam. But sometimes I like to pretend I was.
-Mr. Garrison
Tonight; on Cop Drama; on TV; They're gonna say: Sh*t
-Cartman
howdy ho!

- mr hanky
Cartman: " Mom kitty's being a dildo!" Cartman's mom:"well i know a certain kitty kitty that sleeping with mommy tonight"
Cartman: "You better not lose that ticket kenny or else imma kick you in the nuts! (the nuts the nuts the nuts)"
Scissor Me Timbers!
Mrs.Garrison
Oh, yeah? Well at least my mom isn't on the cover of 'Crack whore magazine'! - Stan to Cartman
Let this be our final battle... - Cartman to Kyle
Whatever! I'll do what I want! - Cartman
I'm not an R-tard - Randy Marsh
CLOSE THE DOOR, I'M TRYING TO FREEZE! - Cartman
Goodbye you guys. - Kenny
You kiss just like my dad. - Mr.Garrison
Cowabunga...Motherf**ker! - Bart Simpson to Cartman
F**k off, you donkey raping, sh*t eater! - Cartman
Butters: Are you sure this is a good idea?
Cartman: It's NOT a good idea, It's an AWSOME idea.
MERRY CHRISTMAS CHARILE MANSON! - The Cartman family, Stan and Kyle
Let me just get a little high. - Towlie
Everybody, back in the pile! - Stan
They took our jobs! Dey took yer jerbs! DERK ER DERRRR! - Angry workers
GIVE THIS MONKEY WHAT SHE WANTS! - Mrs. Garrison
Now I for one think that evoultion is a bunch of BULLCRAP! - Mrs. Garrison
I HATE FAMILY GUY!!! - Cartman
Cartman: "Mr. Garrison, what's 'Vietnam'?"
Mr. Garrison: "'What's Vietnam?'... A question that a child would ask, but not a childish question."
Ms. Crabtree: "Okay, that does it! Y'all sit down, or the cute little bunny dies!"
Mrs. Brofloski: "What, what, what?!"
Butters: Hi Mom and Dad!

Butters's Dad: DON'T YOU HI MOM AND DAD
US YOU LITTLE PUNK!!!!

(Punch Sound)

Butters: Ow, Dad!

Butters's Mom: YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW
THE TROUBLE YOU'RE IN MISTER!!!!

(Punch Sound)

Butters: Ah! What did i do!?
What did i do!?

Butters's Dad: DO YOU THINK YOU'RE TOUGH
NOW!? ANSWER ME!!!!

(Glass Breaking)

Butters: Ahhh!

Cartman: (outside on a lawn chair) Oh man if i was older
i would totally start jacking off right now!

-Butters, Butters's Mom and Dad,
and Eric Cartman.
Ike: No kick the baby
Butters's Mom and Dad: your grounded
"Eric your little friends are here."
"Mom they're not my friends."
"I think you should go outside and be with your friends Eric."
"But Mom I don't want to go outside with my friends."
"DON'T BE SO DIFFICULT ERIC!"

--Lianne and Eric Cartman
Wendy! You didn't?
I told her..... DON'T F*CK WITH WENDY TESTABURGER!!
--Wendy Testaburger and Kyle Broflawsky

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