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Stacey: "How many 'Hail Mary's' do you have to say for grabbing a priest's butt?" Mike: "I know the German word for constipation, which I believe is farfrompoopin." Mike: "As my assistant, occasionally you may need to assist me." Stuart: "Big 3-0, huh? It's the perfect age. You can date college girls *and* their mothers." Mike: "I had sex with this woman, Kevin. And she wants to get pregnant. She kidnapped 'my guys!' And she put them in the freezer!"
Kevin: "That old story." Carter: "If the Deputy Mayor speaks in his office, and there are no cameras to hear, does he make a sound?" Drew West: "Mr. Mayor... what's your favorite sexual position?"
Mayor Winston: "Well, that's really not any of your business. However, I hear yours is 'Man on top, woman in magazine.'" Holly: "I don't have the patience to ask you again. Leave me alone or I'll have you terminated."
Stuart: "You can't fire me."
Holly: "I meant killed." Mike: "Now, I don't want to hear any excuses."
Stuart: "You sure, 'cause I've been saving the doozy. It starts out as an excuse but I end up blaming James." Ashley: "We shouldn't have culturally insensitive sex." Mike: "Anybody read this? Bingo died."
Karen: "Ohh! Who's Bingo?"
Mike: "Only the city's most decorated police dog."
Nikki: "Oh, yeah, right. He pulled that drowning kid out of the reservoir."
James: "And didn't he sniff out 10 kilos of cocaine at La Guardia?"
Mike: "Yeah. Poor little guy didn't sleep for weeks after that." Mike: "There are 10 commandments. I'd like your dates to check out on at least seven of them." Mike: "Look at Dick Clark. Not a grey hair on his head and he's as popular now as he was...100 years ago." Reporter: "Mr Mayor, would you consider marching in the Gay Pride Parade this week?"
Mayor Winston: "What, are you drunk?" Mike: "My grandmother thought that a homosexual was a person who slept with one person their whole life. We were gonna let it slide but she kept telling the mailman she was a homosexual."
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