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What do you call 'poo gas' in Scotland?
Crud vapours. . .
Huh, 'crud vapors.' I like that.
-Cosgrove & Roddy We interrupt this program to bring you an important announcement: I love you. . . We now return you to you regularly scheduled program.
-Announcer Hey!...That's Enough!
-Cosgrove Ooooh, FREAK OUT!
-Dexter Douglas You Mean Don't Say Candlejack?
-Freakazoid Roddie... Settle...!
-Freakazoid Something smells like poogas!
-Cosgrove I ......... am ............ Moron!
-Moron Ah, crud!
-Roddy Does my face look happy? I thought of a way out!
-Freakazoid Neato torpedo.
-Freakazoid This one... cuz it RUNS!
-Freakazoid Gimme that you nut!
-Freakazoid Fear not, Lord Smoked Meats and Fishes has arrived!
-Lord Bravery Hey Freakazoid, want to go get a mint?
DO I??!!
-Cosgrove and Freakazoid Darn! Darn the luck!
-The Huntsman Aww Nut Bunnies!
-Freakazoid Look at you! With your little squishy face! I wanna squeeze you!
-Freakazoid to Freakadog I LIKE ME.
-Freakazoid You're not a failure kid. It's just that your ideas are silly and dumb.
-Cosgrove Don't let me fall into nothingness! I won't be happy there!
-Freakazoid If this were an after-school special, ooh, you'd pay a bittersweet price for your little deceit, like getting big oily zits! Or eating off the same plate as David Lee Roth! ... EW ITS A PLATE! AND HE'S--BEEN--ON IT! OW, YUCK! EW!
-Freakazoid Well I'd better be going.. For somewhere there are wrongs to right. There are foes to fight. There are little chunks of carrot in your teeth... I'd have that taken care of, it can lead to insanity.
-Freakazoid Hi, I'm Jack Valenti and these are my cheeks.
-Jack Valenti GOOD FOR MEE!
-Freakazoid Freakazoid: The scariest thing in the world would be if they gave Sinbad another TV show.
Kids: Aaaah!
-Freakazoid and the kiddies I don't want to go down into the sewer. It smells like poo gas.
-Freakazoid [after a long, passionate kiss] That was shallow, cheap, and based solely on hormones. Works for me!
-Freakazoid I wish I were home reading funny stories in binary.
-Dexter We interrupt this program to increase dramatic tension.
-Announcer Now, now, ladies, there's plenty of me for everybody - if not, I'll just have 'em draw me bigger.
-Freakazoid Lord Bravery: What kind of superhero would call himself Lord Smoked Meats and Fishes?
Mr. Snarzetti: Ah. One who wants to use the element of surprise.
-Lord Bravery and Mr Snarzetti We've put together a little motion picture about Freakazoid's origin. It's filled with action and adventure and even features a scene with a man wrestling a bear for no reason.
-Jack Valenti Look at you squeezy face! You have sweet meats inside you don't you? I'm gonna squeeze you and they're gonna come out!
-Freakazoid to Freakadog I want someone to call me a lawyer! Ok, you're a lawyer. Thank you!
-Freakazoid and the Low Bridge! Everybody down! Low Bridge, Cave Guy's underwear is brown! Brown brown! He's got the cooties, oo-ooties!
-Freakazoid (singing) S- When will I see you again? F- Well If I know my cartoons, and I do. I'll be back later on to rescue you from something Really Horrible! Bye bye! *tries to fly into the air* HUNF! HWAH! UP! UP! UUP! Up! GO UP! FLY! S- Freakazoid, you don't fly! F- Oh!
-Freakazoid and Stephanie Cosgrove how come you never got married?" "Because I like meat too much." "You can be married and still eat alot of meat." "..I didn't know that.
-Cosgrove and Freakazoid Cosgrove: How come you don't say anything useful?
Professor Jones: How come you have the IQ of a biscuit?
Cosgrove: [raising his fist] How about I bend your body into funny balloon animal shapes?
Professor Jones: Perhaps I misspoke.
-Cosgrove and Jones Hans: Now, come. We mustn't linger. It is not safe here at night.
Freakazoid: It's day.
Hans: Well, then, I suppose we can linger for a moment.
-Hans and Freakazoid Debbie Douglas: You spend far too much time on that computer. It's not healthy.
Dexter Douglas: It's my life.
Debbie Douglas: That's so very, very sad.
-Debbie and Dexter Guitierrez: [cut to Mr. Chubbikins tied up with them] Bring in the animal psychologist!
[he enters]
Guitierrez: Ask him how he activated the flaw!
Animal Psychologist: Meow, meow, meow?
Mr. Chubbikins: Mrrow... mrrow...
Animal Psychologist: Meow, meo
-Guitierrez Psychologist and Chubbikins Dexter Douglas: You know, Duncan, you're the only one who ever *sees* this blue guy.
Duncan Douglas: He's *real*!
Debbie Douglas: Well, of course he's real to *you* dear, but that's because you're probably insane.
-Dexter Duncan and Debbie A Lawn Gnome: We are wise and cunning.
Another Lawn Gnome: We stole man's fire and then tried to hide it in our pockets.
A Lawn Gnome: That was painful and dumb. So we became even more cunning.
-Lawn Gnomes [Guitierrez tries to find Freakazoid's weakness, he pulls a green rock out of his cloak] Behold, the purest Kryptonite. Are you feeling weak, my friend, oh so weak?
Freakazoid: That's Superman's weakness, not mine!
Guitierrez: Really?
Freakazoid: Ye
-Guitierrez and Freakazoid We interrupt this program to bring you an important announcement: I am actually a deep voiced woman. . . We now return you to you regularly scheduled program.
-Announcer This episode is also dedicated to the men and women of Columbia University, whose tireless efforts to create a race of super beings continues undaunted.
-Announcer This episode is also dedicated to Mrs. Ashley Huggbees of Fullers Earth Arizona, because we like saying the word," Hugbees". Go ahead. Try it. Hugbees.
-Announcer -Crowd- Hugbees! -Announcer- HUUGBEEES! -A Moose- Huugbees! -A lady- ..Moose!
-Random people and Announcer -Man- What are you wakko!? -Wakko- No I'M Wakko! *sings* -Freakazoid- HEY! Wakko, what are you doing? We're kind of in the middle of something. -Wakko- Its ok Stephen loves it when we do things like this!
-Freakazoid, Wakko and some guy -Freakazoid- We were just wondering.. whose your favorite? *Freakazoid Wakko and Brain smile* -Speilberg- Who, ARE you people?
-Freakazoid and Speilberg -creepy guy- Do you want to see something strange and mystical? -Freakazoid-NOOO!! GET OUT OF HERE WITH THAT WATCH! LAY OFF THE POOR BEAVERS WILL YA?! SHEEEESH.
-creepy guy and Freakazoid YOU'RE A CREEP! GO AWAY! WE WERE HAVING A GOOD TIME UNTIL YOU SHOWED UP, JEEPERS. OOO! GO HAVE SOME COFFIE-WITH CREAM. OR SOMETHING. BECAUSE I'LL TELL YOU SOMETHING-THIS IS A HAPPY PLACE!!
-Freakazoid to creepy guy Jeepers I am *sneezes all over Freakazoid* the Booger Beast!! -Freak- Right.. I quit, you win! KLEANEX! *walks off*
-Booger Beast and Freakazoid Freakazoid's violent brawl with the demon ninjas was replaced with a soothing scene of fishies as they think their happy little pleasent thoughts.
-AJ Fudderman (Relaxovision) Can we pplease take a bbrake? My lipps are numbb.
-Freakazoid Shtay Ppuckered girls! I'll bbe bback in ffifteen minutes!
-Freakazoid Hey! You want a frozen BA-NA-NA??
-Freakazoid Hey I know you.. You're that Potato-head guy!
-Stephanie Dear Freakazoid, if you're still alive to read this, I'm holding Stephanoosh.. Stephanie, prisoner at the Smithsonian. Come get her if you dare... Hmmmm.. -Cos- Hey Freakazoid I've got a 2for1 coupon for the mudbaths u interested? -Freak- AM I!!??
-Freakazoid and Cosgrove -Cos- You know that note you got from the Lobe? It could be a clue about where he's holding Steph. -Freak- My golly Cosgrove, yOUR'E RIGHT!!!! Where's my towel?
-Freakazoid I've got a stitch in my side and I've lost my freshness!
-FatMan If either of you ever again ridicule an over weight person, I will personally sit on you!!
-FatMan Maybe I'll go to the all night aquarium.. I like watching the pollyfish they're so comical... wanna go? -chief- nah I dont watch fish I eat'em.
-Huntsman and the cheif What's up cheif, the Lobe back in town cave guy?? -chief- sorry huntsman false alarm. Some dumb rookie was screwing around with the horn of urgency. I chewed him out real good. -hunt- Darn! -chief- what can I say Huntsman? Crime is still down. I'm lucky
-Cheif and Huntsman Wake up your folks and tell'em you're hungry- GO!
-Freakazoid (to the home audiance) Buddy-up for saftey!
-The Lobe, Cosgrove, Freakazoid That was quite a jolt Freak!
-Stephanie Can't-see-any-thing--sun-in-eyes--must-talk-like-this.
-Freakazoid where's Cosgrove?! You were supposed to hold his hand! That's the whole point of THE BUDDY SYSTEM!
-Freakazoid F- Billy? Billy? -I- H-hello.I-I've grown quite large. -F- I brought you shorts. -I- Good, I-I can't come out because of my girth. -F- I brought you a diet book as well. -I- ok I think we've gone as far as we can go.
-Freakazoid and his Inner Child And while I may have been losing a sidekick, I knew I was gaining a daughter. Or the upperhand or something I dunno.
-Freakazoid -about HandMan Hey! Who wants some pot roast and cola?
-Freakazoid If Im not back in five minutes.... keep waiting.
-Freakazoid By the way theres a spooky cloud thing out here turning people into clown zombies. I'd take care of that if i were you.
-Cosgrove Ooy gooy was a worm, a gooy worm was he! He sat upon a railroad track a train he did not see! Oooooy gooy!
-Freakazoid and Scientist They're cute they're huggable and jam shoots out their heads! I want'em all!
-Freakazoid Ahhhhhhh scream with meeeee!
-Guiterrez falling I am NOT a weenie, YOU are the weeny!!
-Guitierrez In that movie Congo.. how do you tell the difference between a real monkey and a guy in a suit?
-Cosgrove Hey you guys in there! You wanna watch my show?? :C: Do we.. have a choice?
-Freakazoid and Sub Captain I'm Christina Shinikwa Sanchez Toyota O'Mally, reporting live from down town.
-TV Reporter If I want to blintz myself into some Papaya induced hillucination thats my business.
-Freakazoid Kids if we've learned anything today its that your parents were right, comic books WILL rot your mind! WHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWOWOO!
-Freakazoid Prepare to GROVEL FOR MERCY!!!
-Head Gnome Revenge is a dish best served with pinto beans and muffins. Kirk old friend I...oh sorry..
-Guitierrez People~ People who fly airplanes~ are the happiest people~
-Barbra Strisand Believe me Mr. President you do not want to go out there, WOO!
-Freakazoid There's something kinda new, a vortex that likes honey roasted nuts!
-Freakazoid I know this looks bad but I think I'm gonna escape!...... IM WRONG!! ..--Welcome back to the show I'm still falling!!!!
-Freakazoid Somehow I've gone back in time. I'm in Hawaii! Its the 1940s! All men wear hats!! What gives?
-Freakazoid OH FUDGE! Torpedo planes headed this way! I know what you're thinking, where did he get those snazzy binoculars??
-Freakazoid Hello Destiny! I was seeing your friend Duty! He says very bad things about you~!
-Freakazoid S:Dexter gets eaten then fade out the end? -What are you thinking? :P: Well..ahohoho, we were thinking of maybe ending the episode early today! :L: And showing some more Animaniacs reruns! :S: I like it!
-Spielberg Paul Rugg and Writer Lady Computer Wiz Bill Gates, whom I can mention by name because he happens to be a close personal friend of Stephen Speilberg, the executive producer of this fine program, so he probably wont sue us.
-Announcer This sure is the pits!
-Brad Pitt And send him home.
-Find Emmit Nervet The Freakazone is where I have all my profound thoughts. Heres one now 'Take.. over Switzerland.. get all the chocolate!' off the top of my head-What do you want from me??
-Freakazoid Our broken hearts will mend in time if we don't die first.
-Dexter's Mom Since today's episode ended early I'll recite some of my favorite naughty limerics. I'm sure you'll find them pleasing, and saucy! There once was a woman from Bristo..
-Announcer Oh that's right, enemy aircraft are bad. Got it! Filed! Stored!
-Freakazoid B: Only America could produce an imbicile of your caliber. :F: That's because we make lots of things better than other people!
-Bad guy and Freakazoid Food so good, you can eat it!
-Anubis Markets slogan Bob: I desire to date Agent Skully of the X-Files. :Bob: I too desire to date Agent Skully but not seriously, see I'd also date other women, you know, make her jelous. :A: HAH Fat chance!!
-the Bob's and Announcer KICK ME WITH A LEAD BOOT!!
-Freakazoid You're saying strange things.. Stop it.
-Cosgrove Is every woman crazy about a sharp dressed man?
-Lobe That-a Tingled my bottom!
-Freakazoid C: I wanna go see BabeHeart. :F: What's that? :C: Its about a cute little pig that slaughters the English.
-Cosgrove and Freakazoid M: I say, look at that little pig. :B: Lalala! You dumb heads better get out of Scotland!
-Man and Babe --BabeHeart All around the mulberry bush, Gutierrez chased the weeny~ The weeny thought it was all in fun, CRUNCH goes the weeny!
-Gutierrez And so the Freakaclone traveled throughout the kingdom doing many terrible and nastey things. And there was much wailing and gnashing of teeth.. are you gonna eat that?
-Fatman Ten chubby angels with big fat wings, too heavy to fly they crash into things..
-Freakazoid Singing You kids might wanna grab some milk, or an orange right now.
-Cosgrove And featuring....Weena Mercator as The Hopping Woman.
-Credits of any Freakazoid Movie You kids might wanna grab some milk, or an orange right now.
-Cosgrove I'm going to need more rope.
-Candlejack
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