|
(Dan blows roseanne a kiss) Gee Dan that was almost a kiss.
-Roseanne Hey D.j. wanna know why i swaer? Ya why? SHUT THE HELL UP!
-d.j. and darlene Something is up, let's look for clue. David is pale and shaky so there is no clues there. But Darlene wants to sit next to me and complimented her brother hmm let me guess. Your pregnant! (silance) THAT WAS MY JOKE!
-Roseanne You guys don't think we get your corny little sex jokes. You kids are our corny little sex jokes.
-Roseanne and Darlene Now that im rich I don't have time to run other people's lifes.
-Roseanne If I ever get off this sofa I will be unstoppable.
-Roseanne God if you and me ever team up, wow!
-Roseanne Aunt Jackie took her seditives. I tried giving them to DJ but he wouldn't take them.
-Becky Yes this is Mrs. Conner. Oh D.J.'s been very sick and hasn't been able to make it.
-Darleen Conner Oh, I think I found my lost hamster.
-Darleen Conner *heading for the frige* Grape grape grape grape grape! Grape grape grape grape grape! *get to the frige and gets a popicle* Orange orange orange orange orange! Orange orange orange orange orange!
-Dan Becky: Cindy Clark's mom lets her stay home alone!
Roseanne: YEAH WELL CINDY CLARK'S MOM IS A DRUNKEN SLUT!
-Roseanne and Becky WE MAY NOT HAVE ANY ELECTRICITY, BUT WE SURE KNOW THE SPEED OF STUPID
-ROSEANNE (to David) I can make you feel like a man...
Take out the trash.
-Darlene "Welcome to Rosannadu" (to David after deciding to let him move in...Dan & Roseanne had just explained the rules of the house & that the rules could change at any time even for their amusement)
-Roseanne Oh its a proud proud dayyyy
-Dan "Hawks generally don't pass out on the couch after eating a quart of ice cream" - Darlene's response to Roseanne after Roseanne has been "watching her like a hawk"
-Roseanne and Darlene Roseanne: no matter what we do we're gonna screw our kids up! Let me have Darlene and you can have Becky.
Dan: what about D.J?
Roseanne: we'll flip for it Darlene: do you think boobs will effect my pitching?
Roseanne: not this season. (Roseanne showing Jackie her witch's costume for halloween)
Jackie: looks great, where'd you get the hat?
Roseanne: my mother in-law. becky- cindy clark's mom pays her two dollars an hour to babysit
roseanne- well cindy clark's mother is a RICH drunken slut Crystal's baby: Whah! Whah! Whah! Becky: Now what's wrong? Darleen: Maybe you should change his diaper. Becky: I JUST CHANGED HIS DIAPERS A DOZEN TIMES!!!
|
