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These pretzels are making me thirsty.
-Kramer No soup for you!
-Soup Nazi Hi, my name is George, I'm unemployed and I live with my parents.
-George Looking at cleavage is like looking at the sun. You don't stare at it. It's too risky. You get a sense of it and then you look away.
-Jerry I was in the Pool!
-George I'm so keen-o, on Beefarino, what a delicious cuisine-o, fit for king and queen-o.
-Kramer Believe it or not George isn't at home please leave a message at the beep. I must be out or I'd pick up the phone, where could I be? Believe it or not I'm not home.
-George Well, why go to a fine restaurant, when you can just stick something in the microwave? Why go to the park and fly a kite, when you can just pop a pill?
-Kramer Perhaps there's more to Newman than meets the eye. No, theres less.
-Elaine & Jerry I'm at the corner of 1st and 1st... How can the same street intersect with itself? It must be at the nexus of the universe.
-Kramer I'm Cosmo Kramer, the Assman!
-Kramer Hmmm, Seven Costanza. Yep, I can see it now: Seven periods of school per day, seven beatings a day, seven stitches per beating, followed by seven years to life.
-Jerry I dont know how you guys walk around with those things.
-Elaine Koko. That chimp's alright. High-five.
-David Puddy The summer of George!!!!
-George Why do they call it Ovaltine? The mug is round. The jar is round. They should call it Roundtine. That's gold Jerry, gold!
-Kenny Banya That is one magic loogie!
-Jerry Who dosen't want a Juinor Mint? It's chocolate, it's mint, it's delicious!
-Kramer ::to Newman who doesn't want to deliver mail on a rainy day:: "What about the mailman's creed?!?!? Whether rain nor sleet nor snow.... it's the FIRST ONE!!!"
-George ::singing:: "Cooo-stanza!!"
-George BUT I DONT WANNA BE A PIRATE!
-Jerry It must be comforting to know you'll be going straight to Hell at no less than three miles an hour.
-Jerry Newman
-Jerry Seinfeld, you magnificent bastard
-Jerry SERENITY NOW!
-Frank Costanza You very bad man, very very bad man.
-Babu Bhat Hear me, and hear me well. The day will come. Oh yes! Mark my words, Seinfeld. Your day of reckoning is coming, when an evil wind will blow through your little play world and wipe that smug smile off your face. And I'll be there, in all my glory, watchin
-Newman Borrowing money from a friend is like having sex. It just completely changes the relationship.
-George I choose not to run.
-Jerry I'm the oposite of every guy you've ever met.
-George Sure George and Susan had a good thing going, ever since she met him, she's been vomited on, she got fired, her father's cabin burned down and she found out her father's a homosexual. What more can you want of a relationship.
-Elaine I have never ever been so repulsed by someone mentally and so attracted to them physically at the same time. It's like my brain is facing my penis in a chess game.
-Jerry Wait a minute wait a minute, you ask me here to have lunch, then you tell me you slept with Elaine and you aren't in the mood for details? You listen to me. I want details and I want them right now. I have no job, I have no place to go......
-George I'm 33 years old, I haven't outgrown the problems of puberty and I'm already facing the problems of old age. I completly skipped healthy adulthood. I've gone from having orgasms immediatly to taking forever.
-George I always figure lesbians are looking at me. Saying "That's the reason why I'm not a heterosexual".
-George I'm speechless. Speechless. I am without speech. I have NO speech.
-George Jerry....HELLO!
-Uncle Leo A Festivus for the rest of us!
-Frank Costanza Jerraay, you've got to come over and see the baaaaybyyy
-Carol Oh Rochelle Rochelle, a young girl's strange erotic journey from Milan to Minsk.
-Videostore guy It's outrageous, egregious, proposterous!
-Jackie Chiles You double dipped the chip. You dipped, took a bite, and dipped again. That's like putting your whole mouth in the dip. Just take one dip and END IT!
-Timmy Oh, and by the way. They're real, and they're spectacular.
-Sidra NOOO!! We're not gay. Not that there's anything wrong with that.
-Jerry Who figures an imigrant is gonna have a pony. Of all the pictures I saw of imigrants on boats, coming into New York harbor, I never saw one sitting on a pony.
-Jerry You're giving me the "It's not you it's me" routine? I invented that routine. Nobody tells me it's them and not me, if it's anybody it's ME!
-George What about her hair? What's her hair like? Thick lustrous hair is very important to me.
-George I go out to get some milk, I come home and I find my son treating his body as if it was an amusement park. Why can't you do that for a living? You'd be very succesful.
-Estelle Costanza Maybe the dingo ate your baby.
-Elaine My mother ... caught me.
You know... I was alone...
-George Ready to go Lois? See I like saying 'Lois', makes me feel like Superman.
-Jerry Excuse me, do you have any salsa? Need more salsa. Where is the salsa? No salsa??
-Jerry [slams money down on Jerry's counter] I'm out!
-Kramer Yo Yo Ma!
-Kramer She can bring home the bacon and fry it in the pan!
-Kramer HELLLLLLLOOOO!
-Jerry YADA YADA YADA!
-Elaine Kramer: You look like a cowboy!
Jerry: But I don't wanna be a cowboy!
-Kramer & Jerry Believe it or not George, isn't at home!
-George Oh, Mama!
-Kramer She's bold, Jerry!!!!
-George Elaine: You know, just admitting a man is handsome doesn't make you necessarily homosexual.
Goerge: But it doesn't help.
-Elaine & George You're killing independent George
-Goerge Giddy up!
-Kramer She's got man hands.
-Jerry it's a coffee table book about coffee tables!
-kramer It's the Urban Sombrero
-elaine george's jingle on awnsering machine:Believe it or not George
isnt at home,Where could he believe it or not he's not home
-george What took you so long?
-Newman I think he's saying Son of Sam! Oh, my God! I knew it wasn't Berkowitz
-George Costanza woman:do you like to dance?
jerry:No,because it's stupid
-jerry woman George:Well,I'm Satisfied!.
-George Kramer:Well,that looks like a dead bear
-Kramer Jerry:What are you a Medical Dungeon Master?
-Jerry Jerry:Of course your back hurts because of that
wallet you have a filing cabinet behind your ass.
-Jerry Kramer:Where did you learn how to climb trees like that?
Newman:The Pacific NorthWest.
-Newman,Kramer "That 's why I bought the Clasco D-29. It is the most indestructable lock on the market.It's only design flaw is that The door,MUST BE CLOSED!!!
Jerry to Kramer BLOOD!!!
Jerry
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