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This sausage is probably eighteen years old... This sausage could vote. It could go to war and die for its country.
-McGuirk Brendon: How's it going?
McGuirk: Well, I just drank pee. How's it going with you?
-Brendon & McGuirk Mr. Lynch: The question was "Who wrote Hamlet?" You wrote "The Pope's cousin, Count Pope-ula, a magical monster with pencils for arms".
Brendon: I'll be honest, Mr. Lynch. I made that one up.
-Mr. Lynch & Brendon No, Brendon, you're supposed to be resting...the doctor said it was psychosomatic. Or stress related. Or...menopausal. Something. I wasn't paying attention.
-Paula Small Brendon, there's nothing wrong with lying to women. Or the government. Or parents. Or God.
-Coach McGuirk I need to refill this prescription. It's for my anxiety disorder and, uh, it's working nicely 'cause, uh...I wouldn't be able to approach you otherwise.
-Paula Small Aaaand action!
-Brendon Small Coach McGurk: Spaghetti Time. Brendon: I want the regulars to be here tomorrow because we are going to start on a new project, okay?
Jason: Am I a regular?
Brendon: Yes
Jason: My pants say irregular. Coach McGuirk: "Come on, 150 more bucks! DVD PLAYER!" watch it again one more time or il break your back! watch it again or il punch your fuc**n face your gunna accept the kids movie ooor iiiiillll kiiil youuu
-John McGuirk Brendon: Hey Couch McGuirk, Why did you park on our lawn?
McGuirk: Oh. I thought that was a driveway
Brendon: No. Thats our lawn
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