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Peter Marshall: Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather?
Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.
-Peter Marshall Paul LyndeHollywood Squares
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The Goodies Season 4 Episode 1
Episode Title: Camelot
Episode Plot
Tim says that he is expectng a letter from his Uncle King Arthur. Graeme points out that King Arthur is not Tim's uncle, and Tim responds, "okay, Arthur King", and goes on to point out that his uncle's name is King Arthur on his birth certificate although Tim does admit that there is a comma between "King" and "Arthur". And the uncle does look 'kingish', and he does live at Camelot not "Camelot" in Graeme's sense, but "Camelot" as in 31 Acacia Road, Wessex (well .... Solihull). Graeme and Bill mock Tim about it, and Graeme asks Tim if his aunt is Queen Guinevere, and Tim answers "No, of course she's not Queen Guinevere she's Queen Doris". Tim's other relatives include his Uncle Sir Lancelot, and a parson (the Venerable Bede).
Tim's Uncle King Arthur's heralds signal their arrival by blowing their trumpets, and deliver the letter to Tim by hand. Uncle King Arthur writes that he is having trouble with the local Town Planner, and asks Tim to look after "Camelot" while he and the family are on holiday, saying that he will make Tim the Earl of Northumbria, if Tim succeeds in keeping "Camelot" out of the Town Planner's hands.
Then, the Town Planner arrives (accompanied by two of his standover men), and he asks the Goodies to sign a release for "Camelot" to be handed over to him (following which "Camelot" can be demolished and replaced by a super-highway). Graeme decides that they should fight for "Camelot".
When the Goodies arrive at "Camelot", which is located in an ordinary suburban street, they are surprised to find that "Camelot" is, indeed, a castle complete with drawbridge and moat. Graeme is determined to keep "Camelot" safe, and he decides to open the castle to the public to help with its financial upkeep. Bill walks into the room dressed in medieval clothes, and Tim arrives dressed as a jester, and immediately tells lots of jester jokes. Then, Tim and Bill sing (and dance) a duet of the Morecambe and Wise song "Bring Me Sunshire".
The Town Planner then arrives at "Camelot", and Bill signs over the castle to him, saying that Tim's uncle and aunt would like a 'two up, two down'. Graeme is horrified at what Bill has done, and says that Bill should not have sold the castle. Graeme refuses to hand the castle over to the Town Planner, saying that everyone who comes to the castle has to be dressed in medieval clothes. The Town Planner says that he will be back and take over the castle by vacant possession. Graeme says that they do not intend to leave the castle. However, a fire-breathing dragon, and a woman's screams, succeed in making the Goodies do so and, while they are outside, rescuing the 'damsel in distress' from the dragon, the Town Planner returns and takes over the vacant castle.
The Goodies fight the Town Planner and his standover men (by jousting, and other medieval contests), and surprisingly end up winning the 'battle', and so are able to hold onto the castle for Tim's relatives. King Arthur and Queen Doris and their family then return and everything returns to normal at "Camelot" or does it????
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