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Jeepers, Mister! You're really strong!
-Little Boy Hey, I've sworn off manhandling.
-Meg I mean, come on...I'm an action figure!
-Hercules Well, thanks for everything, "Herc". It's been a real slice.
-Meg I've got twenty-four hours to get rid of this bozo, or the entire scheme I've been setting up for eighteen years goes up in smoke, and you are WEARING...HIS...MERCHANDISE??!!
-Hades Whoa, is my hair out?
-Hades Hades: So, if I say "I want Hercules' head on a platter," you say...?
Meg: Medium or well-done?
-Hades and Meg Panic: Jeeperth...mithter?
Pain: I was going for the...innocent look!
-Pain and Panic (changing out of disguise) Oh, man, I gotta fur wedgie!
-Phil the Satyr Do you have a name to go along with all those rippleing pectorals?
-Meg Name's Megera, friends call me Meg. Or at least they would if I had any friends!
-Meg Think your nanny goat would go berserk if you played hooky this afternoon?
-Meg You know how men are. They think "No" means "Yes" and "Get lost" means "Take me. I'm yours."
-Meg Meg: Is Wonderboy here for real?
Phil: What are you talkin' about? Of course he's real. Whoa! And by the way, sweet cheeks, I'm real too.
-Megara and Phil Panic: He's not gonna be happy when he gets outta there.
Pain: You mean, *if* he gets outta there.
Panic: If? If is good
-Pain and Panic (talks in a deep voice) ONCE UPON A TIME! Hahahahahaha!
-Phil S-s-s-s-s-s-sorry, guys!
-Young Hercules My boy. My little Hercules.
-Zeus Rule number 95, kid: Concentrate." (Hercules throws the swords at him in an unorganized manner) "Rule number 96: Aim!
-Phil Didn't know you had a famous father, did you? SURPRISE!
-Zeus Phil! Boy, am I glad to meet you. I'm Hercules! And this is Pegasus!
-Young Hercules It's a small underworld, after all, huh?
-Hades Guys! Get your titanic rears in gear, and kick some Olympian butt!
-Hades That's Phil's boy!
-A Thebian man My favorite part of the game: sudden death!
-Hades Geez Louise, what's got his goat?
-Hades Ba-boom. Name is Hades, Lord of the Dead. Hi, how're you doin'?
-Hades Zeusy, I'm home!
-Hades We are worms! Worthless worms!
-Pain and Panic, turning into worms Memo to me, memo to me: maim you after my meeting.
-Hades 'They slapped his face on every vase.' 'On every *vahse*.'
-Thalia and Clio (the Muses) He comes on with his big, innocent farm boy routine, but I could see through that in a Peloponnesian minute.
-Meg Remember, like, a few years ago, every other boy was named Jason, and the girls were all named Brittany?
-Pain H: Aren't you, a damsel in distress? M: I'm a damsel. I'm in distress. I can handle this. Have a nice day.
-Hercules Meg I'm a big tough girl. I tie my own sandals and everything.
-Meg How sentimental. You know, I haven't been this choked up since I got a hunk of moussaka caught in my throat.
-Hades Aw, how cute!...A couple of rodents looking for a theme park!
-Meg 'Meg, when I'm with you, Idon't feel so alone.' 'Sometimes it's better to be alone.' What do you mean?' 'Nobody can hurt you.'
-Hercules Meg 'Kid, kid, kid. How many horns do you see?' 'Six?' 'Ah, close enough. Let's get you cleaned up.'
-Phil Hercules It's all right. The sea of raging hormones has ebbed.
-Meg Pain, Panic: [disguised as kids] Somebody call IX-I-I.
-Pain, Panic From that day forward, our boy Hercules could do no wrong. He was so hot, steam looked cool.
-Calliope Phil: Keep your toga on, pal.
-Phil Will you listen to him? He's makin' the story sound like some Greek tragedy.
-Thalia Phil: Will you forget the head-slicing thing?
-Phil Phil: Two words: Amscray.
-Phil I thought you were going to be the all-time champ, not the all-time chump.
-Phil [after Hercules broke the arms of a Venus statue] It looks better that way. No, it really does.
-Meg Let's see. What could be behind curtain number one?
-Meg Kid, get ready to RUMBLE!
-Hades Game...set...match.
-Hades There goes another one. Just like Achilles.
-Phil Don't you pea-brains get it?
-Phil Lady: "Young man, we need a professional hero, NOT an amateur!" (the group of villagers walks away)
Hercules: "Uh, wait! Stop!"
-A Thebian Lady and Hercules Panic: "Hercules...why does that name ring a bell?"
Pain: "I dunno--maybe we owe him money?"
-Pain and Panic Meg...Meg, my little flower, my little bird, my little NUT-Meg!
-Hades Hercules: "Excuse me, but it seems to me that what you folks need is--a hero." (brief moment of silence)
Thebian Man: "Yeah? And who are you?"
Hercules: "I'm Hercules, and uh--I happen to be...a hero!"
-Hercules and a Thebian Man Hades: "Pain, Panic, I've got a little riddle for you: How--do you kill--a god?"
Pain: "I do not know!"
Panic: "You can! They're immortal!"
Hades: "Bingo! They're immortal!"
-Hades, Pain, and Panic Come on, kid. Concentrate. Use your head!
-Phil Nice catch, *Jercules!*
-Boy with the Frisbee So is this an audience or a mosaic?
-Hades Will you forget the head slicing thing?
-Phil Zeus: "Oh come on Hades, don't be such a stiff."
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