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I ain't got time for that crap!"
"You tick turd!!
-Sheriff Justice Daddy, the top came off!
-Sherrif's son There is no way, No! Way! you come from my lions, When we get home remind me to punch your momma in the mouth.
-Sheriff When we get home remind me to punch your momma in the mouth!
-Sheriff Look over your right shoulder.
-The Bandit You can think about it...but don't do it!
-Sheriff I'll barbcuel Your --- in molasses! What were dealing with here is a total lack of respect for the law.
:Buford.T.Justice Snowman "You can't drive a forklift"
Bandit "I can drive any forking thing I like" Snowman "Is she wearing a wedding dress"?
Bandit "She was"
Snowman "What she wearing now? Her mind?" Buford T. Justice: Duck or you're going to be losing a head! Junior: (waiting for the funeral procession) "Damn, he had a lot of friends, didn't he?"
Buford T. Justice: "If they'd a cremated the sum-bitch. I could be kickin' that Mr. Bandit's ass around the moon by now."
Buford T. Justice: "This happens every time one of these floozies starts poontangin' around with those show folk fags."
Junior: "My hat blew off, daddy."
Buford T. Justice: "I hope your goddamn head was in it!"
Buford T. Justice: "Nobody, and I mean NOBODY makes Sheriff Buford T. Justice look like a possum's pecker."
Buford T. Justice: "Do what I say you pile a' monkey nuts!"
Alabama State Trooper: "Did you see that? They went right through our roadblock!
Buford T. Justice: "You som'bitches couldn't close an umbrella!"
Buford T. Justice: "Give me a diablo sandwich, a Dr. Pepper, and make it quick, I'm in a god-damn hurry!"
Buford T. Justice: (shouting at a trucker that has sheered a door off of Justice's patrol car) "I saw that, you sombitch! You did that on purpose! You're going away till you're gray!"
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