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We've come for your daughter, Chuck. Wah-ha-ha-ha-ha!
-Betelgeuse Ah, what do we have here? The Maitlands. Cute couple. Look nice and stupid.
-Betelgeuse These aren't my rules. Come to think of it, I don't have any rules.
-Betelgeuse Open this door you dead people or we'll bust it down and drag you out by the ropes you hanged yourselves with!
-Delia It's showtime.
-Betelgeuse I'm the ghost with the most, babe.
-Betelgeuse Because if I tell you, you tell your friends... your friends are callin' me on the horn all the time... and I gotta show up at shopping centers for openings and sign autographs and shit like that and it makes my life a HELL. OK? A living HELL.
-Betelgeuse Don't mind her. She's still upset because somebody dropped a house on her sister
-Othos Oh look! They've been to Saturn. Hey, I've been to Saturn! Whoa. Sandworms. You hate 'em right? I hate 'em myself!
-Betelgeuse I' seen "The Exorsist 167 times and it keeps getting better every single time I see it
-Bettlejuice Delia, you are a flake. You have always been a flake. If you insist on frightening people, do it with your sculpture.
-Beryl Open this door you dead people or we'll bust it down and drag you out by the ropes you hanged yourselves with!
-Delia That's good work. Let me ask you something. How do you get them so sma... Hey, there goes Elvis! Yo, King!
-Betelgeuse You can't scare her, she's sleeping with Prince Valium tonight.
-Lydia A little gasoline... blowtorch... no problem.
-Delia Go ahead... make my millenium.
-Betelgeuse Ah. Well... I attended Juilliard... I'm a graduate of the Harvard business school. I travel quite extensively. I lived through the Black Plague and had a pretty good time during that. I've seen the EXORCIST ABOUT A HUNDRED AND SIXTY-SEVEN TIMES, AND IT KE
-Betelgeuse. Ah, Ah, Ah... Nobody says the "B" word!
-Betelgeuse (Adam) Handbook for the recently deseased
(Barbara) Deceased
-Adam and Barbara My LIFE is a dark room...one, big, dark, room
-Lydia Oh, what am I worried about? Otho, you can't even change a tire.
-Lydia Maybe you can relax in haunted house, but I can't
-Lydia (Delia writes 'mauve' on the wall)[Otho] You read my mind
[Delia] I did?
-Delia and Otho (speaking in Lydia's voice) Yes I love that man of mine
-Beetlegeuse God, I can't stand that woman!
-Lydia (Rising from the model) Attention K-Mart shoppers.
-Beetle Juice HEY! we even shop in the same store!
-beetlejuice (kicks over tree in graveyard) Nice F*ck*n model (as he grabs his genitals)
-Betelguese Hey, coach? I don't think we survived that plane crash...(Juno) I'm not your coach!
-Dead Football Player you guys are a spookters aren't u let's trun on the juice and see what shakes losse
-Bettlejuice Otho: Ugh. Deliver me from L.L. Bean.
-Otho Beryl: Paranormal? Is that what they're calling your kind these days?
Otho: Don't mind her. She's still upset because somebody dropped a house on her sister.
-Beryl, Otho Learn to throw your voice, fool your friends, fun at parties.
-Barbara(posessed) She's sleeping with Prince Valium tonight
-Lydia beetlejuice: nice fuckin model! (imporsinating lydia) my name is lydia deetz and i am of sound mind,the man next to me is the one i want, you asked me,i'm answering,yes i love that man of mine. - beetlegeuse (imporsinating lydia) my name is lydia deetz and i am of sound mind,the man next to me is the one i want, you asked me,i'm answering,yes i love that man of mine. - beetlegeuse Beetlejuice: "NICE F***ING MODEL!!!" Barbara:"Betelgeuse betelgeuse betelgeuse" Beetlejuice: "Go ahead. Make my millennium. AH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!" Adam Maitland: "What I mean to say is, what are your qualifications?"
Beetlejuice: "Ah, well... I attended Juilliard, I'm a graduate of the Harvard business school, I travel quite extensively, I lived through the Black Plague and had a pretty good time during that, I've seen 'The Exorcist' about a HUNDRED AND SIXTY-SEVEN TIMES, and it keeps getting better EVERY SINGLE TIME I SEE IT!!!"
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