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Snaps: Whadda day! Both my girls are getting married!
Sophia: [looks at Snaps suspiciously] What do you mean, both?
Snaps: [embraces her, indicates Theresa] Sophia, my wife, meet Theresa, my daughter.
Sophia: If she's your daughter, who's her mother?
Roxanne [there for maid job interview]: I am.
Sophia: [shouts] You had a child with the new maid? Nora: I won't miss working in this house. From now on, I'll have servants of me own.
Snaps: You'll find out what a picnic that is!
[Nora grabs the wrong valise and exits]
Dr. Thornton Poole: Shocking insolence! I would have terminated her immediately.
Snaps: I can't do that anymore. Best I could do is fire her. Aldo: Oh, Dr. Poole! Come on in. The boss been expecting you.
Dr. Thornton Poole: [chuckling] Aldo, do you realize what you just did?
Aldo: What?
Dr. Thornton Poole: You used the past participle without a modifier.
Aldo: I did? What's the rap on that? Snaps: [to bankers] You come into my house with your filne print and addendums... and try to con me out of my dough? Geez, I'm used to dealing with mobsters, bootleggers and gonzos... but you bankers are scary.
Kirkwood: [rising out of the chair] I have never been so insulted in all my life.
Snaps: Wait. You're young yet. Dr. Thornton Poole: Aldo is a treasure trove of linguistic anomolies. Lisa Provolone: You kept me a prisoner up here - like Rapunzel.
Snaps: Well, you certainly ain't Snow White!
Sophia: Look at the example you've set! Filling the house with thugs, goons and hit men!
Snaps: All right... sometimes I had to bring my work home with me... Snaps: ...Take Louie 'The Lug' McGurk. Died tragically at 25.
Anthony: I'm twenty five. What happened?
Aldo: Somebody stepped on his fingers.
Anthony: And that killed him?
Aldo: He was hanging from a window ledge of the Edison Hotel at the time. Eduardo: Ah, so now you wanna make-a peace with you papa? You wanna me die happy.
Snaps: Of course, Papa.
Eduardo: So now you *wanna* me die! [slaps him] [After Poole says "honest crook" is an oxy moran]
Snaps: Poole was right! You are an ox *and* a moron! Dr. Poole, a linguist: [about Snaps' daughter, Lisa] She seems to have such nicely rounded diphthongs!
Snaps: That's what got her into this jam! Snaps: Connie! Am-scray!
Connie: Do I have to, Boss? Every time I leave I fall behind. Anthony: All that travel must cut into your home life.
Dr. Thornton Poole: Well, I don't spend as much time with mother as I'd like. But she's got the cats. Snaps: Let's get started, I got until noon to look like a banker.
Finucci: Oh, we make-a you look like a banker... take off-a you pants. Snaps: You're a butler now! Butle! Snaps: If it's Poole you want, it's Poole you'll get. But, Lisa, you've *got* to cross the finish line on this one! This is your third fiance today and it ain't even lunch yet! Connie: I warned him, boss.
Aldo: Anthony said it was a matter of life an death, boss.
Snaps: And will you two mugs stop callin? me "boss"? It ain't respectable!
Aldo & Connie: Sorry, boss. Anthony Rossano: When I took over, your books were a mess.
Snaps: They don't sound like they're in no great shape now!
[to himself] Damn, a double-negative. Snaps: Mornin', Doc!
Dr. Thornton Poole: Mr. Provolon-e. Where are those G's?
Snaps: [slaps money bag] In here. Lisa Provolone: ...I wanna lay on the beach in Honolulu!
Snaps: Do whatever you want, just don't leave this room! Aldo: Lemme me show you tha door;
[shouts and points to the door]
Aldo: There's tha door! Aldo: Never witness nuthin'. You live longer. Father Clemente: Oh, by the way? Congratulations on your daughter marrying Bruce Underwood.
Sophia: Oh, I'm afraid there's been a change, Father. She's now marrying a nice Italian boy. Anthony Rosano.
Father Clemente: It's all for the better. Nothing like a big Italian wedding! Anthony Rosano!
Snaps: Well, forget Anthony, she's not marrying him any more.
Sophia: What?
Father Clemente: Well, that's a shame. But she's young. Someday she'll find the right one.
Snaps: She's found the right one.
Sophia: Who?
Snaps: Doctor Poole!
Sophia: Doctor Poole?
Dr. Thornton Poole: [leans over railing] Hello!
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