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The whole thing stinks like yesterdays diapers!
-Baby Herman C'mon Eddie, Where's your sense of humor?!
-Roger Rabbit Get this straight, meatball. I DON'T WORK FOR TOONS!
-Eddie Valiant You got it all wrong! I'm a cartoon maker, not a murderer.
-R. K. Maroon So, Valient, you call a cab or what? Hubba, hubba! Allow me, madamoiselle.
-Benny This is how we handle things down in Toontown.
-Judge Doom P-P-P-PLEASE!
-Roger Rabbit He's lost his mind. I don't think so!
-Jessica and Roger Eddie - You mean you could've taken your hands out of those handcuffs the entire time???!!!!
Rodger - No, Eddie, I couldn't...I could only do it when it was funny!
-Rodger Rabbit and Eddie Valiant The real meaning of the word hits you like a ton of bricks!(a ton of bricks falls on Roger)
-Roger A ladies man, huh? Problem is I've got a 50 year old lust and a 3 year old dinkie.
-Eddie and Baby Herman This is how we handle things down in Toontown. I thought you of all people would appreciate that.
-Judge Doom Remember ME Eddie?? When I killed your brother, I talked JUST LIKE THIS!!!
-Judge Doom Seriously, what do you see in that guy?" "He makes me laugh.
-Eddie & Jessica I'm not bad, I'm just drawn that way!
-Jessica Rabbit Would you like to tell me what she was doing with her arms around you?" "Probably looking for a good place to stick a knife!
-Dolores and Eddie Hide me Eddie! PLEASE! Remember you never saw me."
Get out of that drawer!
-Eddie and Rodger Okay, nobody move! All right, you weasels, grab some sky or I let the judge have it. You heard me, I said drop it!
-Roger Rabbit Us toons may act idiotic, but we're not stupid!
-Roger Rabbit Seriously, what do you see in that guy?" "He makes me laugh.
-Eddie and Jessica We're gonna raaaam'em!
-The Weasels Eh, what's up doc? Jumpin' without a parachute? Kinda dangerous, isn't it?
-Bugs Bunny Oooooh, piggies! This wittle piggy went to market, this wittle piggy stayed at home. This wittle piggy had roast beef, and this wittle piggy had..." (Eddie falls) "Uh oh, ran outta piggies.
-Tweety Bird "THEN THE WHOLE DAMN TOWN IS GONNA KNOW YOUR HERE!" - Eddie Valiant One of these days you're gonna laugh yourselves to death.
Judge Doom PPPPPleese!
-Roger Rabbit Judge Doom: "Remember me, Eddie?? When I killed your brother, Teddy, I talked...like...THIS!!!" Eddie: "I'm through with taking falls and bouncing off the walls. When I get done, I'll have some fun, I'll kick you in your..."
Roger: "NOSE!"
Weasel: "Nose? That doesn't rhyme with walls!"
Eddie: "Oh, yeah? Well, this does!" (Eddie kicks him in the balls) Ape: What do you think you're doin', chump?
Eddie: Who you callin' a chump, chimp? Boo Boo Bedop!!: Betty boop Eddie Valiant: "Listen! Get this straight, greaseball: I...DON'T...WORK...FOR TOONS!!!" Smart Ass: "Look, Valiant. We've got a reliable tip that the rabbit was here, and it was corroborated by several others... So cut the bull-shtick."
Eddie Valiant: "You keep talking like that, and I'm gonna have to wash your mouth out!" (shoves the bar of soap in Smart Ass' mouth) Roger Rabbit: "Jeepers, Eddie. That was a close one! How can I ever repay you??" (kisses Eddie)
Eddie Valiant: "For starters, don't EVER kiss me again!" Roger Rabbit: (crying) "No wonder you hate me; if a toon killed my brother, I'd hate me, too!" Judge Doom: "Stop that laughing! Have you forgotten what happened last time?! If you don't stop laughing, you're gonna end up DEAD, just like your idiot hyena cousins!" Eddie Valiant: "You mean to tell me you could have taken your hand out of that cuff at any time?!"
Roger Rabbit: "Well, no, not at ANY time; only when it was funny."
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