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Do you have a Miss Piggy?
-Toys R' Us Customer It's 106 miles to Chicago, we've got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark and we're wearing sunglasses.
-Elwood Blues Did you get me my Cheese Whiz, boy?
-Man at Hotel You are such a disappointing pair. I prayed so hard for you. It saddens and hurts me that the two young boys whom I taught to believe in the Ten Commandments have come back to me as two thieves, with filthy mouths and bad attitudes.
-Sister Mary Stigmata Use of unnecessary violence in the apprehension of the Blues Brothers HAS been approved.
-Police Dispatcher 2000 bucks and it's yours. You can take it home with you. As a matter of fact, I'll throw in the black keys for free.
-Ray We had a band powerful enough to turn goat piss into gasoline.
-Donald Our Lady of Blessed Acceleration, don't fail us now.
-Elwood Blues No, ma'am. We're musicians.
-Elwood Blues How much for the little girl? How much for the women?
-Jake Blues One Timex digital watch, broken. One unused prophylactic. One soiled.
-Frank Oz The light was yellow, sir
-Elwood Blues Boys, you got to learn not to talk to nuns that way.
-Curtis You fat penguin!
-Elwood Blues I hate Illinois Nazis
-Jake Blues We're on a Mission from God
-Elwood Blues You can't lie to a nun. We got to go in and visit the penguin.
-Elwood No I didn't. Honest... I ran out of gas. I, I had a flat tire. I didn't have enough money for cab fare. My tux didn't come back from the cleaners. An old friend came in from out of town. Someone stole my car. There was an earthquake. A terrible flood.
-Jake I must now kill you... and your brother!
-Mystrey Women Get out! And don't come back... until you've redeemed yourselves!
-Sister Mary Stigmata they broke my watch
-police man do you see the light?
-rev. clephous James Jesus H. Tapdancing Christ yes I see the light
-Joliet Jake Blues Burton Mercer (John Candy): Hi! Wanna hand me the mike? Thanks a lot. Hi this is car um...what number are we?
Officer Mount: FIVE - FIVE
BM: This is car fifty five..we're in a truck!
Jake: "SCMODS?"
Elwood: "State County Municipal Offender Data Systems!" Curtis: "Do you guys know 'Minnie The Moocher'"?
Murph: "I once knew a hooker named Minnie Mazola." Head Nazi's Sidekick: (To him as their car descends): "I've always loved you!" Burton: "Who wants an orange whip? Orange whip? Orange whip? Three orange whips!" Reverend Cleophus James: "Praise God!"
Elwood: "And God Bless the United States Of America!" Elwood: "So what kinda music do the bands usually play here?"
Bartender: "Oh they play both kinds! they play Country AND Western!" Jake: (To Tucker) "My name is Jacob Stein. I'm from the American Federation Of Music. I've been sent to see if you gentlemen are carrying your permits". Tucker: "Our what?"
Jake: "Your union cards. May I see your cards, please?" Tucker: (To Jake) "Well, suppose we ain't got no union cards and go in there and start playin' anyway? What'cha gonna do about that?" Tucker: (To Jake) "You gonna stop us, Stein? Ha!" Tucker: (To Jake) "You're gonna look pretty funny trying to eat corn on the cob WITH NO FUCKING TEETH!"
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